[BlueInanna]

I'm just nuts but will be ok. I'll be like a cat and land on my feet.

Take a deep breath. You are jumping the gun on him having bp and that the town is out to get you. i know this must be very, very upsetting to you, and it's easy to jump to the worst conclusion.... but that's what it is at this point. it is fear and panic and all that good stuff. All you really know right now is that he made a comment in the car and that he has been having problems with this girl. You know that the school could have handled it better and they have a principal who isn't worth their weight in salt... but that is all that is going on.

I haven't been through anything like what you have with your older son. To see the signs in your youngest, your baby, must be enough to drive a person mad. but that may not be the case. He may be repeating what he has heard before. a learned response and nothing more.

Just breathe and try not to jump the gun on this. I doubt that anyone is actually judging you. I'm not there so I can't say for sure, but it's really easy to project these things onto a community and others. I do it all the time.

I guess what I am saying is that it may all be different than what it appears to be. and if that is the case, then just find some firm ground to stand on and let it be different.

I hope that it all clears up soon. I hope that it's just a dumb move on the part of a school and that his comment was just something he learned from his older brother. It is possible, right?

[BlueInanna]

Thank you Dan. you're right I need to breathe and I know it's catastrophic thinking but it just happens in my head anyway. I really hate this part of bp when I have to face how fricking crazy my mind goes. I'm gonna delete that stuff now, I said too much, I will figure this out and I will be ok.

[Clinte89]

Be ok blue. hang in there.

[Victoria'smom]

Blue. if you feel comfortable pm me

[~Christina]

Blue

I don't know what is happening but, I am here if you need a or a shoulder or a ear.. I'm here.

I don't understand. How could a person possibly say too much on a support site? I say everything on here.....

No one is judging you Blue!

[tribalwolf]

Blue,

I know it sux when the head gets the crazies but I know you'll be ok, been there many times myself.

The Wolf

Time for the lemon thing, BlueInnana.

[Trippin2.0]

idk what's going on, but I'm wiling to listen take deep breaths, listen to something soothing while you drink your lemon

[BlueInanna]

Thanks guys. I will drink the lemon today. I just felt so confused last night like I was rambling and said too much. But I need to open up and let you guys help me. I think you all are the only ones I can trust and who will understand right now. You're all I got right now.

I got really triggered yesterday cuz my youngest, 5th grade got suspended from school. Apparantly the teacher didn't hear it but a few other kids substantiated that he called another girl an F-ing B. My little guy was crying so hard and denied it. I don't know if he did it or not, we've had ongoing probs with this particular little girl. I'm trying to sort out my shock and anger.

The hour long condescending talking to I got from the principal was horrible. She says she warned him a month ago to stay away from katie or he'll be suspended. Never a call or communication to me. My son said that he was never told he might be suspended.

They're calling this sexual harrassment, because he used the word B... I got her to agree to not put that term in his school file. But she will if it happens again, shaking her finger at me.

They told me to get him therapy because he seems to trigger easily. They have a school counselor, but apparantly she doesn't have time for him.

Upon leaving school, my son was still crying hard, said he wanted to get a knife and die. I told him no matter how bad things get, we will find a way through, and it's never a reason to die. He just hugged me tight and told me how much he loves me.

I feel helpless, I'm scared this school is going to beat down my little guy like they did with my older teens who both have bp dx. And it's a small town, I'm really the black sheep here. Which I'm fine with if it's just me, but the judgments get layed out on my kids. I think they must know about my older son's manic rages and all the times I've had police and ambulences here. So they think they better treat my youngest real tough. I think this is totally unfair to him and that compassion and kindness are what will help him stay in school.

I hoped i'd wake up with some insight or solutions, but I only cried. And I'm smoking a lot. My mind is in a whirl, I feel foggy and confused. Some minor hallucinations. I cancelled plans I had last night, so once again I'm a flake. I need rl friends, but I'm always flaking on them... Things feel really impossible right now.

My son doesn't want to go back to school... I don't want him there, I don't trust them. But I'm putting on the strong face for him best I can. I must help teach him resiliency through this situation, that we will find a way through this.

It's really sent me into a spiral - both ways, heavy defeated along with crazy rage.

Thank you for listening. I really love and appreciate you guys.

[Trippin2.0]

A rock would be triggered and spun into a frenzy by this situtation, your response is natural I do hope you can relax and breath a bit, and hopefully get to bottom of this situation with your son. His school sounds like it's run by wardens and drill sergeants instead of caring, nurturing teacherd who'll ultimately play a substantancial role in his development... hugs and love to you both hun