[Moose72]

I had my car insurance set up for auto deduct. Then I changed that. Then I forgot I changed that. So then I realized my mistake. But not until over a YEAR later! And I just called to get insurance again and I thought my old insurance was another than the one I called so I said that one but they said when does it end and I was like "I don't know" and really inside I'm like "****!" I think its THESE people and now I've been breaking the law and I can't ever get insurance again!!! She's calling tomorrow morning. I'm ****ed. I'm screwed. I want to die. I hate my bipolar brain!!!!!!!!! As if I weren't anxious enough lately and now this.... I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die!!! Ativan is looking better and better and better.....

Originally Posted by Moose72

I had my car insurance set up for auto deduct. Then I changed that. Then I forgot I changed that. So then I realized my mistake. But not until over a YEAR later! And I just called to get insurance again and I thought my old insurance was another than the one I called so I said that one but they said when does it end and I was like "I don't know" and really inside I'm like "****!" I think its THESE people and now I've been breaking the law and I can't ever get insurance again!!! She's calling tomorrow morning. I'm ****ed. I'm screwed. I want to die. I hate my bipolar brain!!!!!!!!! As if I weren't anxious enough lately and now this.... I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die!!!

...you did pretty damn good there Moosey love!

can we die together?

...I'm sorry dear buddy but you aint allowed to die...so that means me to.

....shhhhhhh!!!

things inside you are tearing holes in your soul....it sure feels that way!!

and thats very serious more serious than people and phones and laws!

especially when you got the rocket brain Moosey!..... do you know the rocket brain?

do you trust ....?

can you trust with me that it will burn itself out and all the worries along with it?!

[Clinte89]

You'll be ok it'll get sorted out I'm sure no problem. So don't worry so much if you didn't know then you didn't know. Just relax and take deep breaths and relax. And maybe Ativan will help you a bit.

[Moose72]

I am going to be in huge trouble I know! For over a year without insurance?!

[Moose72]

Doublem, it took so much out of me to make that phone call! And she's calling back in the morning!! When will it burn itself out? Because it is lighting itself up right now. Recorded on the phone and everything! They recorded everything I said!! I hate Big Brother! Following me around. Writing it all down. Recording everything. Just like the other day in court.

[Moose72]

I was already shaky and upset the last week or so and now I feel shaky even more even on the extra zyprexa. Even pdoc called this morning finally and decided if I'm not sui then I can just make it to my T appointment tomorrow. Logical. Then THIS!

[Darth Bane]

Moosey dear, you live in democratic country (i hope)... you can actually kill someone in cold blood and plead temporary insanity and just walk out of there... you are taking meds right??? bipolar , you can claim delusion,paranoia... what more do you need??? and currently its just insurance!!!!! its not at all serious... dont worry....

[Moose72]

I need a stiff drink and to check out! This week has been too damned long!

hey Moosey!...you are passionate and wise!

your life is equivelant to 16 million times more than this weirdo event thats got you all rattled...

sure trip out a bit and even more I would too and I will flip over something too in my own day today likewise....forgotten overlooked accidental

even damn deliberate!

...in no way am I invalidating your defenseless feelings I am just trying to re-direct them .....

lets think together hun!

how many people are worried about this thing you are worried about?

no-one is coming after you.....it's your pure heart and sincerity thats got you overwhelmed......

I'm no golden child with policy........the energy you need to adjust this situation will arrive exactly when you need it

[Moose72]

People will tell me I can't drive that's all. May as well be after me.

[bunnifoo]

You aren't going to be prevented from getting car insurance ever again. You may have to pay more but it's not the end of the world. Trust me, I know.

Let me tell you why - I made an even bigger mistake than you. Actually several bigger mistakes. First I didn't have my insurance on auto pay and I would forget to pay it. Then my insurance was cancelled and I "forgot" to get new insurance (I didn't so much forget as freak out and get so anxious about the siutation I couldn't deal with it and tried to pretend it didn't exist).

Then I rear ended a woman. While driving without insurance. I had to pay for her car repairs and my car repairs out of pocket. I was in my late 20s, my parents were furious and (because I had some accidents before) my Mom actually told me she thought I should stop driving (at the time where I lived I couldn't get to my job without a car, the public transportation sucked). I had a whole break down, panic attack huge thing.

So then I got notices that I had to take mandated classes, pay a fine, and do some other stuff.

Which I didn't do. Again it was so stressful and I was so embarrassed by the whole thing I just pretended it didn't exist. I got a notice that my license was suspended and I didn't tell anyone or deal with it.

THEN, I was running late for work and didn't realize there was a cop with a radar gun and got stopped. For speeding. Behind a school bus. I admitted - my license was supspended. Since I was so close to home the police officer did allow me to drive my car home (instead of having it towed and impounded). But I had to call in and miss work. I had to tell my parents (my mother was even more horrified).

I had to deal with a court summons. Luckily a family friend's son was a lawyer who helped me out some , I didn't go to court, but I had to do community service. I got my license back.

I had to get insurance - the big ones (Allstate, Geico, etc) wouldn't touch me. So I had to find insurance for high risk pool and for my used sedan I was paying nearly $200/month in insurance.

I didn't even learn my lesson - less than a year later I got pulled over for speeding in a school zone. Actually in front of a school and not wearing my seat belt. I paid those tickets promptly and it was embarssing but I dealt with it.

I pay more attention now and am a little paranoid about getting pulled over but so far I obey the traffic laws.

Originally Posted by Moose72

I was already shaky and upset the last week or so and now I feel shaky even more even on the extra zyprexa. Even pdoc called this morning finally and decided if I'm not sui then I can just make it to my T appointment tomorrow. Logical. Then THIS!

what about now ...?

talk to me

[~Christina]

Moose

Okay so you drove a year without insurance, It is NOT the end of the world, people do it all the time. You can still get and have car insurance. No one is going to bother you about it. Just be happy nothing happened.

yep what Christina said..!



just be cool Moosey!...we all do it....through all things

somehow...we have to...it's all crap anyway!

and only when we are calm...hey?

we figure this sh--t out too

it's all crazy baby!......and you aint!

[BlueInanna]

Moose honey I have the same panic go-to place in my brain. Like when I'm set off its just too overwhelming. Try to breath and think it through. You'll have more info in the morning, and a therapy. All to do now is wait it out... Let the Ativan kick in and keep talking. We Love you!!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

what about now ...?

talk to me

Just the jury duty and my son having a sleep study right before. It's been a long week. Everything is a big deal to me, when I'm usually laid back.

I have a short temper tonight. I need a hug and won't get one. Way too early for bed. I just feel on edge. It started with the depression and then lack of response from pdoc. The extra Zyprexa has helped a bit. I should go watch my show in bed. Wish I could laugh. I think pdoc only cares if I'm Sui. I'm just sad for weeks. Maybe not every moment of the day but basically that's my mood.

[BlueInanna]

Hugs and more hugs!! Cyber hugs don't quite do the trick probably. You'll laugh when you're good and ready. I could tell u my Willie Nelson joke but I don't think anyone here liked it or maybe it was too perverted... Anyway, there should be something pdoc could give to help pull u out of this depression. Idk what though.

[~Christina]

Moose,

I think you need to get outside, feel the sunshine and some kind of exercise. Or go out tomorrow and take some pictures. or both Or any other mood boosting activity. Hows that sound? Oh yeah about that hug you need now go hug one of the kids, maybe they need a hug too. There isn't enough hugging in this world.

[Moose72]

I don't see pdoc till a week. I see t tomorrow. No drugs from her.

Originally Posted by Moose72

Just the jury duty and my son having a sleep study right before. It's been a long week. Everything is a big deal to me, when I'm usually laid back.

I have a short temper tonight. I need a hug and won't get one. Way too early for bed. I just feel on edge. It started with the depression and then lack of response from pdoc. The extra Zyprexa has helped a bit. I should go watch my show in bed. Wish I could laugh. I think pdoc only cares if I'm Sui. I'm just sad for weeks. Maybe not every moment of the day but basically that's my mood.

ok I gotcha!...

and you know me I don't do advice!....if I did?...with my brain I would have either died long ago or become something amazing!

does this sound familiar?....inside you?

you aint gonna laugh unless somethin' is funny!...and you ain't gonna celebrate unless somethin' is spectacular!...

it's unbelievable even how close these things are when our minds are at rest in fact overwhelmingly intact!

but I know this is not what you need to hear right now Moose!

yesterday happened turned into today and tomorrow is your freedom un-announced!

...don't fret no more sweet girl....

you had a little panic attack and it's going to be ok....ok....

love..
monkeyboy

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by morethingswrong

Moose,

I think you need to get outside, feel the sunshine and some kind of exercise. Or go out tomorrow and take some pictures. or both Or any other mood boosting activity. Hows that sound? Oh yeah about that hug you need now go hug one of the kids, maybe they need a hug too. There isn't enough hugging in this world.

Kids have had hugs. We were out earlier shopping. I go out most days actually. If only to a coffee shop. I make myself see a friend or call a friend.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

ok I gotcha!...

and you know me I don't do advice!....if I did?...with my brain I would have either died long ago or become something amazing!

does this sound familiar?....inside you?

you aint gonna laugh unless somethin' is funny!...and you ain't gonna celebrate unless somethin' is spectacular!...

it's unbelievable even how close these things are when our minds are at rest in fact overwhelmingly intact!

but I know this is not what you need to hear right now Moose!

yesterday happened turned into today and tomorrow is your freedom un-announced!

...don't fret no more sweet girl....

you had a little panic attack and it's going to be ok....ok....

love..
monkeyboy

Awwww! You are wonderful !

you are welcome...

[faerie_moon_x]

Okay, first off, huuuuge hugs, Moose.

Secondly, you're going to be just fine.

I have had to go multiple times in life without car insurance. When I was homeless and had my car I went for over a year without it. I even was able to get new plates despite having no insurance (thanks to a loophole in a certain state....) Anyway, eventually the DMV suspended those plates, but by then it was too late, I already had insurance and moved to a new state.

So yeah, you were breaking the law but in that time caused no accidents, so no harm done.

I think the biggest thing is that whatever your insurance company was, you probably owe them money from the unpaid premiums. But at 6 months all insurances naturally cancel themselves (and after so many months non-payment they cancel themselves, too, actually, it's not even months. It's just you missed your payment by x nubmer of days, canceled!)

So, that bill has likely gone on to collections.

but you can get insurance again just probably not with that company unless you pay back what you already owe them. And it might be higher priced but only for the first 6 months, then after that it starts going down again.

It's going to be okay!

[Moose72]

I'm wearing two pair of pajama pants. Warm! Watching my show.