Oh boy! Oh Goody! Oh my! (dripping with sarcasm)

Oooo Sis

Oh the unwanted home invaders, I will rant right along with you about them!!

Now when it comes to your daughter... You have every right to not allow him contact with Jordan.. He is on drugs! I think what you told Jordan is perfect and honest. You are her Mom and your job is to keep her safe.

Rant and rave all you need and want to here..

My words just aren't saying what I really feel and want to get across

Ill just fly there to see you , kick some ***,toss out some lazy people and you can show me around... Hows that sound?

Thanks for the reassurance and the offer to kickass
I guess I'm just second guessing myself because, 1: how much does a child really need to know? but I need her to understand why I make the choices I do when it comes to her. And she seems accepting of my reasoning. 2: is it my place to deprive her of a father? not that he'd be very good at being one, he tried and failed dismally until she was 5.... but I feel so crap that she's half him... she deserves better, why didn't I choose better? and is no dad really better than a ****** dad? idk! I had a marvelous dad, so how can I make such a call????

Dont think I'm going to stay at work today, feel like shy, will try and leave as soon as my deadlines are met.

is no dad really better than a ****** dad? Yes, no dad is far less damaging then ****** dad. I'm sorry you have so much ****** stuff happening all at once.

Trippin I will respond when I can put my words together a lot better.. I'm like "duh" right now

Trippin, no dad is better than a ****** one in my opinion, I had a really really ****** dad and when I cut him out life was much better.

I know how you feel tho, I have had to make this choice with my children and it is really really not easy. My kids are happy with our life, they are old enough to remember except my youngest. I had them see a counselor so they could feel free to talk about it with a nuetral party, cause you never know ..they might not want to talk to mom about it. She saw them for a year and told me that despite what they have seen and been through they seem very happy, healthy and adjusted. I cannot say that would be the case if their father was in and out for the last 8 years that we have been on our own. The stories my oldest son told me about stuff that had happened when I would be at work, he never told me till after we left. I can't even think about it. Drug addicts are not exactly best at making good choices for themselves let alone another small human.

You would never hand Jordan over to an unpredictable drug addict if it were just some random, and being her DNA father does not grant automatic immunity. You actually have to be present to be a parent.. in mind and body.

Lock box sounds like a really good idea.

Breathe and follow your instincts. I'm sorry I know how hard it is, my ex turned up a few times. You can get through this. and that is a super lame excuss to dissapear on your child for a few years!!! He would be like a stranger at this point. Don't feel bad about it, better to have one good parent who can show you love and guide you through life than to have to go through that.

It's true, no dad is better. A void is better than scars of abuse, neglect, and heartbreak.

Thank you ladies for the reassurances and the votes of confidence. its time I trust my decision, you guys obviously do....

It's hard enough to be a mom. Being a mom on your own trying to fend off someone who is toxic from you kid is not an easy job. I think you're doing the right thing. And yes, as she gets older she will understand even if she doesn't right now. As an adult she will be better equiped to handle what life throws at her, and she will have that because of you!

Thank you sis exactly what I needed to hear

Yes ! Everyone has wonderful solid advice! Trust in yourself and accept the fact that you are indeed protecting your daughter. You are a wonderful fantastic loving protective mom... Jordan is a very lucky lil girl.