[Eleora]

When I saw my psychologist 3 weeks ago, he diagnosed me as being Hypomanic. The week after that, I saw him and it turned into a manic episode diagnosis. I left out the fact that I was having morbid thoughts and a bunch of other thing associated with "depression".

Now, unlike before, I think the depressive side of things is out weighing the mania and I am having such a terrible go of things.

Stupid me, decided 3 weeks ago when I was mostly manic to stop talking my meds because I "didn't need them".

It feels like I shot myself in the foot on this one.

you're kind of en enigma girlbass
you have so many interests and talents and friends, yet your appearnce is quite aggressive looking
and somewhat offputting
maybe if you allow more of the real you to be expressed you will be less angry and start to find
your path.
there are many opportunites for a girl with your talents

it is easy to decide that we don't need our meds. i am bipolarII and my lows are my worst. can you start the meds again? talk to your doc or your T? xoxoxo pat

[Eleora]

I was supposed to come off these meds eventually anyways... and I have to make an appointment with my doctor soon but I don't have time - I can't afford to take work off.

I feel very out of control. I thought it was snowing in my living room. I saw white everywhere... not sure what to make of it.

it really sounds as if you need to see someone.....can't you get a bit of time off and see the doc? seeing snow in one's livingroom isn't something to just shrug off.....

keep posting.....p

[darkeyes]

Girlbassplayer,
It isn't a common thing,seeing snow, being bipolar, you really need to talk with your doc, you need to make time.
Deciding you do not want to or no longer needs meds, should only be determined by your pdoc.
I know from my own personal experience(s) that we may feel we do not need our meds, until things get out of control, stay compliant with them, untill the doc changes them or tells you to taper off, do not play doctor with yourself, I regretted doing the same thing after all fell apart.
All this may be able to resolve with a different med or dose adjustment, don't wait, contact your pdoc, ASAP.
I wish you lots of luck with this, feel free to update us on how things go.
Take care,
DE

[Eleora]

Well my diagnosis is the bipolar version of schizoaffective disorder. I realize now it was probably me hallucinating, but I actually thought it was snowing, like if I reached out I could touch it.

I have trouble staying on meds when I get manic. I have nobody to administer meds because my moms too busy and my dad thinks mental illness is a joke, so I have to rely on myself. I need to try harder I think.

can you get one of those pill schedule boxes and put your meds in that? i find that when i start getting forgetful and distracted that helps. you can find them at dollar stores. xoxoxo pat

[Eleora]

yeah, thats a really good idea. I will look into getting one, thanks !

you're welcome. i think we get distracted rather easily and forget the med thing. then the bottom really falls out......xoxoxo pat

[jennie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
darkeyes said:
Deciding you do not want to or no longer needs meds, should only be determined by your pdoc.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I respectfully disagree. However, if YOU choose to go off meds, find a doctor to help you come off the medications safely. Never go off meds without the supervision of someone qualified to help you.

[darkeyes]

jennie,
You brought to my attention, and I thank you.
I do also disagree as you stated, but not all the times, it depends what kind of meds and how reputable the doc.
I guess I am mixed on this, but certain meds, should really be discontinued by checking with a doc.
I decided yrs ago while on antibiotics for strep throat, that I felt better, didn't finish the meds and the strep came back and worse, I needed a stronger med. due to how fast bacterias replicate, becomming immune to the antibiotics, soooooooooooo, here is one example of why I agree, where as if a psych med is making one really ill, stop and call the doc, most docs and the side effects monologues will state that.
Again, according what kind of med, discontinuing should be checked with the doc.
Thanks again.

[Eleora]

yeah, I am coming to the realization I NEED to be back on medication.

[wi_fighter]

Just my opinion, but if I were seeing snow in my living room, I'd probably want to get back on meds. But I have this really odd desire to come across as un-mental to the gross population as possible.

Parents and significant others can be a real hurdle when it comes to getting better, can't they? My mom, as much as I love her, seems to have this "If Shirley talks about her depression, I'll just pretend she didn't say anything." She's under the false belief that "if anything, the only thing wrong with either of us is that we're a little unfocused." (Sure mom, and that's why you ended up in the psych ward for two months, playing with paper mache and yarn, TWICE. " My ex H sounds like your dad "It's all in your head. You can fix it without meds if you really wanted to."


And as a side note, I don't think your appearance is off putting at all. I find you awfully darn cute.

[darkeyes]

Oh, don't you love those that think we can "fix it", or "get over it", or my favorite is when they would say, "snap out of it".
Don't these people realize if it was all that simple, we all would??
Don't they have half a brain and realize it is more complicated, and mostly biological?
I guess they never had a grasp on science,research and latest findings.
Hang in there, supporting, and understanding is a huge help going through this.
Take care,
DE

(((((((((( all here )))))))))))

[darkeyes]

I saw your pics, and wanted to tell you, that you are very pretty.
The piercings, oh well, I'm 49, have only double pierced ears, that's it for me.
If piercings make you happy,great, but personally, I think you very attractive, and could of done without some of them,but that is me, like I said I'm getting older.
Ever see some of us "old ladies" in the public,like a checkout line in a food store? Well, it looks funny when age causes the skin to sag, and maybe get a little padding, the tatoo's seem to look like melting wax, and oh well, the sagging piercings, oh well, you can imagine.
Enjoy your youth and beautiful,firm, skin.
Just know you are very pretty.
DE

[Eleora]

Thanks guys.

The piercings are something I feel very passionately about. I am into heavier body mods, as well, so it's not just a "phase" or anything. I think things through and usually everything has a deeper meaning. I want subdermal implants, and more tattoos.

Hallucinations for me are pretty normal, on or off medication. I have yet to find a treatment that treats them. Fortunately, besides being a little "out of it", most can't tell anything is going on, and I can still function a little bit (enough to get by), when thats happening.

[darkeyes]

Keep in your mind, you are pretty, regardless.
Also, never lose faith within yourself, even if there are really hard times.
You can always drop in here and talk with us.
Take care now,
DE

[Eleora]

I try to stay positive. Usually if I am feeling like giving up, I just indulge deeper in my joobs and work harder. It's rewarding to think I am making a difference, even if it's a small one. Usually helps me quite a bit.

I also have a thing about quitting... I am too stubborn, haha.

Thanks again.

[cygnus58]

My ex was so angry about being diagnosed prior to our meeting, i was AFRAID to suggest meds. I did my best to encourage her that she could get through without them because of that. I felt she needed my support in that way at minimum.. 6 years later, divorced, i should have been stronger for her. She has episodes often and we are not even speaking now due to another recent sexual encounter she had while drunk. Only recently have i dug deep enough into her illness to know for a fact whether with me or not, her life is in jeopardy without constant medication. God Bless Her and Keep Her.....