it's weird bein' weird

...wandering around aimlesslessly without a purpose deliberately lost in amongst the findings of myself!

it's so quietly noisy even louder than the silence without!

...aches and pains nudge my soul hurt me whole...

and the wounds of yesteryears and yesterdays last night...minutes ago die all over again...revived only by my life living right now in this very moment!

...and the real escape is so far out of reach!

can my future ghost recollect what it forgot to remind me now?

to remind me how to cope with all this emotional ********?

right here after I arrived later and suddenly painful I cry like a baby!

and the minutes are months and the years are moments and the death is so far away from the life that was forced outa' me to make any of this real and whatever it just hurts bein left behind!

in the black the dark of feelings like drowning and nobody can breathe down here...

except me

"in the black the dark of feelings like drowning and nobody can breathe down here...except me"

This is so true. No one can life your life except you. No one can live my life except me. If I have all the money in the world, I can't buy anyone or anything to live my life for me. This a hard reality. I have to accept this reality or I can't even begin to live.

right on!...

Good stuff... I mean the use of language to express such depth of feeling... Both of you make my mind exercise and expand trying to comprehend the inexplicable. I'm not so good with words. But I can give love and hugs.