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#1
Feb 14, 2013, 12:19 PM
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how does an old man like me keep going?
I was a hypermanic kid...an overmanic teenager....a supermanic young man! now I don't know what I am...? but the illness is still so alive taking me to places I already been! and the illness is still alive faking me into spaces I already seen! ...and as I grip my fingers tight ..! I'm tired... I'm so damn tired! it's way beyond mental illness now! it's drifted beyond safely gently hopefully...somewhere I can finally relax.. after all the drugs after all the drugs after all the madness I don't want this thing anymore! it kicks me when I am down it slaps me when I am up it's the same thing I'm better off without it... flying phantom man killed by death soon after over and over. and yet I persist I won't let anyone comfort me... cos they can't |
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#2
Feb 14, 2013, 12:23 PM
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Give me some of your mania buddy, I flippin' need it!
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
 Anonymous32912
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 BipolaRNurse
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#3
Feb 14, 2013, 12:27 PM
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I could use a splash of mania myself this being mixed thing isn't working well for me. I hope you get much needed rest James.
__________________
“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it ....” ― Henry Ford lamictal 200mg, synthroid 75 mcg, Testosterone injections thanks to lithium causing thyroid problems |
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#4
Feb 14, 2013, 12:40 PM
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are you guys kidding?
hehe  absolutely freaking nuts!! ok...here goes you want some mania...like the typical daily mania? toe scratched back scratched....gotta shower this body this neanderthal! outa this carpet deep open window creep! gotta eat this belly ache reheat this smelly ache! I am the worst human alive I hate all things I hate even what I forgot to hate and Im in love suddenly with this understanding.. I am like a God and supreme ! ...I can manage a thousand shackles on a thousand beds in a million padded cells...and still be indifferent...! don't dare touch me I'm magically anaesthetised to reality! ...like a virus insane comedy genious I'm untouchable so badly damaged already... ...want to be left alone to my personal demise horrible perfect malfunction ... bipolar borderline mania....untouchable but so damn sensitive... so damn sensitive ouch! |
| pegasus
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#5
Feb 14, 2013, 01:10 PM
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This is pretty ******. I am pretty ******, but I don't care. I just want to live. I'll use until the last ounce of my strength to learn how to live life.
I don't care what normal people think of me. It means nothing to me. I just don't want to care anymore. I'll just want to be responsible for my own life. |
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#6
Feb 14, 2013, 06:38 PM
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now I don't know what I am...? A very strong and awesome guy.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#7
Feb 15, 2013, 01:17 AM
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Just reading your words makes me smile , such a way with words. You are one of the most Amazing people I have ever had the honor to met, Sling your mania out into that blasted heat outside, yeah toss it out the damn window
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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