[BlueInanna]

Something happened with work, and I'm so angry right now. My family member I work with is driving me so insane that I want to quit. But I've poured my life into this business, I work so hard, I worked all weekend on numbers and accounting and taxes and crap. I make less money than my managers who work for me, I had to put my kids on free lunch program, I'm the one who takes the hit when we have trouble with the economy, etc. I cashed out my life savings to invest in my business. My family member I work with cashed out hers and travelled to Europe. She'll ask me, why do you have to be such a martry? And I don't know why, maybe because I'm trying to save my life's work and support my family. I'm so offended when she says that, I'm not trying to be the martyr! I'm trying to run a fricking business, trying to stay in business, grow business in a nasty dog eat dog corporate world out there. I'm troubled, yes, very, I have troubled children, I have missed many days of work last year when my son was hospitalized about 10 times and I tried to never miss a visiting hour at facilities sometimes 3+ hours away. So she's dx bp also... she's more the *****y impulsive go-getter great at talking and presentation one in the spotlight, and I'm the boring quiet logical practical often depressed one. It is sometimes a great combo, we have accomplished much. When we're on, we're on fire, and it is awesome. But when she called me this morning with first thing yelling negativity at me, I snapped. She said, F-you! And I yelled back I'm hanging up, will talk to you when you can calm down. She'd already hung up on me. Now I'm ignoring her incessant calls, can't deal right now. I know she's just having a crappy time right now, but she's taking it out on someone who's on her side, and someone who can't take a beating today. People get *****y with me, I shut them out.

[AeonDM]

How long do you normally take to calm down?

[BlueInanna]

I don't know, never thought about it like that? Sometimes things trigger me and takes awhile to get back in a peaceful mindstate. It just really threw me off and I'm still thrown off. My texts are dinging but I'm not ready to read her ******** right now. She's either apologizing or ripping into me. I woke up congested and caught a cold, feeling crappy, I can't take anymore of her criticism and negativity right now. I can't look at my phone yet, I don't want to know what she has to say. I haven't started crying yet, but I'm on the verge.

[AeonDM]

I know what anger can do to a person and my wife knows what anger has done to me. Try to calm down first, then think about it or what you want or can to do about your situation.

[BlueInanna]

Just checked email, she wrote to all staff that we are failures and won't be continuing in the business. I don't understand. She's obviously in an episode. Guess I'll hire a new CEO, guess I'll try to do her job too, but I don't want to do that, guess I could just walk away from this mess of a life here and go live in Bali? She really crossed the line by writing to all staff and quoting what I said to her personally. I cried and hyperventilated for about 30mins (pretty short crying spell for me), now it's just anger and confusion. Trying to think of solutions.

[faerie_moon_x]

wow, how demoralizing for your staff to get that e-mail! And now you have to do damage control.

Definately sounds like an episode to me....

You should be proud of all you have accomplished, really. Considering all the crap you've gone through, it's amazing you started your own business.

[BlueInanna]

Thanks DH, I don't know how to damage control this one. I have a response drafted that says, "This deserves no response, take your meds."

I won't really send it, but it's about all I can think of right now. I won't act until I think of the right thing to do, professionally and ethically. Yes, we both have bp. But we've never crossed this line of behaving this insane in front of staff. You know me, I have an ocean of empathy for MI, but she's jeopardizing my job, my company. My mind is whirling and hurts.

Thank you for helping me DH, I know you're in the dumps today too.

[BlueInanna]

Now she texted included staff to say that if it weren't for her kids she'd be offing herself. I have to keep fighting and save my business, but when she talks like that makes me start considering the same. wtf is this f-ed up world? I don't want to die. I want to live. But I want things to be different, very very very very very very different.

[AeonDM]

She looks desperate. It's an attack. Stay calm and figure a way out.

If you do the same, you are telling everybody what she is saying is true, whatever she is trying to do. Not a good strategy.

[BlueInanna]

Thanks Aeon, timed myself, 3 hours to sort of calm down. I'm not fully calm yet though, I feel like my bones and my blood hurt.

I feel attacked by her, but it's now twisted into she's the victim and I did this to her. I want to support her but she has these tantrums that drive me nuts. I have bp too, I should know how to be supportive to her. So I'm just trying to take some space until I know the route of least damage to take. I have not responded to her yet. I just don't know what to say quite yet. I need to be fully calmed down before I talk to her. I did respond to staff, so that part is ok for now.

I could let her know I love her but too upset to talk, or that may just cause more lashing out towards me.

[faerie_moon_x]

This is not good. I cannot help right now really, but I hope you can find a solution to stop her from attack the staff with her episode....

[AeonDM]

Anger wounds both parties. Do you know what is upsetting her on your part? Knowing that could help you form a more effective strategy.

[BlueInanna]

I found this old vicodin pill the other day, only one, but I think I'll take it and a benadryl try to sleep or something. My sinuses hurt bad and runny nose and sneezing. If I just sleep, I could wake up and feel well, and have new bright ideas and solutions.

[AeonDM]

Opiate and antihistamine may interfere with your meds. Tread your moods careful before making critical decisions.

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by AeonDM

Anger wounds both parties. Do you know what is upsetting her on your part? Knowing that could help you form a more effective strategy.

I made a comment to her that she takes a lot of vacations with her boyfriend, it's true. But she can't seem to handle being called out on anything without a giant fit like this. I pay for these trips she takes, and it's unfair, I end up not getting a paycheck because of this stuff she does. But if ever I try to express it's not fair, this is the giant fit and threats of sui that she does.

[Secretum]

This sounds like a really unfair situation. I wish I had some wisdom for you...could you tell her that she can't return to work until she's got her symptoms under control?

You're such a sweet person; you don't deserve to have people walking over you like this.

I'm glad that you realize that you want to live. With time, I'm sure that things will change for the better...just keep holding on. <3

[AeonDM]

Give somebody an inch and they'll take a mile.
something that you say which means that if you allow someone to behave badly at all, they will start to behave very badly I'm always wary about making concessions to these people. Give them an inch and they'll take a mile.
-From the free dictionary.

This is something you can work with, if you think that is the problem. But talking with her face to face primary first, like testing the battle ground, before jumping into a conclusion might be a better idea.

Unfair can be an emotion than a principle. It can be your weakness in certain circumstances.

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by AeonDM

Opiate and antihistamine may interfere with your meds. Tread your moods careful before making critical decisions.

I'm not really on meds right now. But have this one old pill from old dental work and would like some relief for a few hours. I'm safe. Thank you.

Yes, my emotions are my weakness, that is very true.

I decided to text her, "I'm sorry I hurt you. Please be safe. I'm very upset too." I can't deal with a phone call with her right now. I want to know she's safe, but I just can't do all this with her right now.

[AeonDM]

It's just a suggestion. Don't worry about it. Make do with what you have got to handle this situation. It's more than enough if you can believe it.

[Victoria'smom]

It sounds like your working with my sister. Don't talk to her until she calms down anything you say will backlash and be used against you later. Can you sit down with her where after ALL bills you both get 40% and 20% goes towards savings for rough times. Can you get rid of your business cards. So any withdraws have to be from the bank?