People Can Recover From Mental Illness.

Trying Too Hard to be Sane, or Trying Too Hard to Recover, Can Lead to Madness

by RON UNGER on DECEMBER 12, 2012

A recent article, “Screw Positive Thinking! Why Our Quest for Happiness Is Making Us Miserable“ provides humorous perspective on the ways seeking too hard after happiness can make us unhappy – and, it seems, stupid as well! I’m going to argue that the same paradox also applies to other aspects of mental health, and that some of the major problems in current mental health treatment result from failing to take this into account.

The problem with trying too hard to be happy is that “positive thinking” can often backfire; affirmations for example can make people think less of themselves, and excessively positive thinking can lead to us making foolish choices that have serious, and negative, consequences. Also, there is a tricky effect called “ironic process” where trying to “improve” by getting rid of something in our mind often makes us amplify the very thing we are trying to get rid of (spend the next 30 seconds trying not to think about hippopotamuses and see what I mean.)

Another problem with trying to get rid of unhappiness, in order to become happy, is that unhappiness itself can be understood as part of an attempt to reach a greater happiness. That is, I may be unhappy with a paper I am writing because I want a better paper and the happiness that comes from that, or I am unhappy with a relationship because I want a better relationship, etc. If I suppress my unhappy feelings with my current paper or relationship, in order to be happy, I may turn in a lousy paper or fail to act to improve my relationship, which then leads to more unhappiness in the future.

I believe it is helpful to consider the possibility that pretty much everything that disturbs us can be understood as something that in some way is trying to help us. Even something as dark as a part of us that wants to make us kill ourselves can be understood as a part that is trying to free us from the ways we feel stuck in our lives, even if it is going a bit overboard in the means of getting unstuck that it is proposing. We may be disturbed by extreme rage, by sexual impulses we find unacceptable, or by voices which seem completely foreign to us, and we may see these things as the enemy, and think that our recovery depends on getting rid of them, but this very effort to get rid of them could be the primary barrier to healing. (Healing usually involves finding a place for something, where it doesn’t dominate but is allowed to make a contribution.)

More: Trying Too Hard to be Sane, or Trying Too Hard to Recover, Can Lead to Madness

[QUOTE=ultramar;2947710]I think these issues are pretty simple. You go to therapy to work on past abuse/mal-adaptive behaviors. You eat healthier and take supplements to nourish the body. You exercise to stay active. You go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. If you need it, you take medication to reduce some symptoms in order to function.

WHAT ISN'T EASY IS APPLYING THESE.

Humans as a general rule are lazy and habitual. For instance, my boyfriend eats way too much pizza and doesn't like vegetables. I got my friend curry with veggies and she threw away all the veggies. You have to teach yourself to appreciate fruits and vegetables when you're so used to eating processed foods. There is work that indicates diet can contribute to depression. Problems are complex because it's hard to change. It's easier to go to McDonalds and wait 2-3 minutes max for your meal then buy produce and cook yourself.

In a way I don't see these as "gross over-generalizations" because they work on the premise of change. You can't find out if it's truly a brain disorder and if meds are necessary unless you make changes in your lifestyle that would indicate it as so.

I know for myself that medication helps me keep a level head and lowers the physiological responses to stress. I know retraining my thoughts allows me to bounce back from said stress. I know that exercising helps my self-confidence. It's "complex" because there are so many pieces to the puzzle. It's simple because I can break it down.

To Heal from Emotional Damage Know what the Damage Was

By Darlene Ouimet

If there is ONE place that I recommend starting the emotional healing process, it is starting with the damage. That might sound easy, but I had to actually find out what “the damage” to me was.

I had to find out how I got broken. What happened to my self esteem in the first place? How did my self esteem get so low? What happened to me? That was where the keys were and those were the keys that led to freedom.

I remember when I realized that my depressions and dissociative issues came from somewhere; I sat stunned, repeating to myself over and over ~ What happened to ME?
I had to look at the roots. I thought that I was born depressed. But the more I thought about it, how could that be?? There were actual events that caused damage and my depressions were in fact related to those events! I just had to see it. I had to finally SEE it.
The biggest obstacles in my way were avoiding looking at how I used by others, how I was objectified and not considered to be equally human, and how I was failed by others. By avoiding looking at the truth about that, I was able to excuse the damage they caused. I excused them because I had to. As a child, survival is of the utmost importance and if we start complaining about the people who are failing us, but are also in charge of our welfare, it is a pretty sure fact that we are not going to survive.

When I tell stories about teachers who were bullies or outsiders who devalued or abused me, I get a huge response. It is much easier to face the truth about someone outside of the family that hurt me and damaged me than it is to face the truth that my parents let me down, but the truth is that my parents knew about the bullying and the way it was effecting me, (I was sick in bed for months) and they avoided doing anything about it until I was so sick that the Dr whose care I was under, figured it out and MADE them do something about it. As I have written before, my parents tried to resist the Doctor, but he threatened to get a court order on my behalf.

If the damage, (including the emotional damage) is excused and ignored… there is further damage. I am saying “so what” if my parents were “sick”. They did a lot of damage with their “sickness” and instead of looking at them and making excuses for them, it was time to look at the damage ~ to call it like it is ~ and heal from it. EVEN if it makes them angry; even if it hurts them; even if they rejected me and even though they deny it, lie about it and don’t agree with me or validate my truth. They started covering their butts when I was a baby, why would now be any different? It finally had to be about me or I would have ended up just like them; dysfunctional, sick, chronically depressed and unhappy.

More: To Heal from Emotional Damage Know what the Damage Was :: Emerging From Broken

Feelings and Emotions

If we want to understand and deal creatively with our feelings and emotions and get in touch with the inner resouces they offer us, we need first to be clear as to what feelings and emotions really are.

Feelings and emotions are not the same to me. Feelings are FELT. My whole body experiences them. They are very real and if I deny them I loose touch with myself. Feelings, as I experience them are an energy running through me. I do not need to judge my feelings, I need to accept them. I have not read the book "Emotional Intelligence", but I discovered years ago that there was intelligence in my feelings.

Unfortunately most of us are brought up to believe it is acceptable to be in certain feeling states and not in others. This, I believe is a problem caused by people not understanding the grace and humanity of real feeling. Without feelings there can be no warmth and no empathy. Without feeling there can be no intuition.

Thankfully most of us will have retained some degree of our ability to feel. The psychopath is the most obvious example of the person who at some time has been so harmed they have completely lost their ability to feel. It is because of this very fact that they are able to harm their victims, so cruelly, either psychologically or physically. Psychopaths themselves can be healed. A psychiatrist successfully healed psychopaths in a British prison. By treating them with respect and humanity, he was able to take them back to the situation which had been so painful for them that their ability to feel was lost. A psychopath can be defined as a person incapable of empathy. These men became warm and began to feel empathy for others. If a psychopath can be healed, each and every one of us can regain our natural right to feel. (Please note, this psychiatrist was clearly a gifted man and he himself said it was a scary experience and he had guards outside the door. I would not advise anyone to believe they can heal a psychopath simply with respect and humanity! But I am saying that it would appear that under the right conditions, even the most cold psychopath can be healed)

More: Feelings and Emotions Get in touch with yours now.

Connecting the Dots about Passive Abuse and the Truth about Lazy

By Darlene Ouimet

Deep in my subconscious mind (my belief system) I have always thought that taking some leisure time was the same as being lazy. When I started to learn how to do self-care, that little “feeling” constantly whispering to me that I was being lazy began to get stronger. I found that when I took time off to just kick around, read a book or watch a movie, deep down I would reprimand myself. I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it for a very long time.

If I was spending my leisure time with my kids are with another person I was not so hard on myself because I knew that was important to the relationships that I have with them, but if I was just doing something to rejuvenate ME, I got a little restless. I really noticed my conflict with this when my oldest two children moved out of the house to attend school this fall.

Because we are selling the farm/ranch I had spent the summer cleaning, packing, sorting, purging and organizing 30 years worth of accumulated stuff and as a result of all that hard work I feel really caught up on everything. I feel really good about having done all of this but emotionally it took a toll on me. It has been an emotional roller coaster to decide to let go of this life here and on top of that to have two kids move out of the house! Add that to the level of emotion that I invest in this website and with my clients and I found I needed some extra time for myself this past few months.

BUT when I took that time I realized that my self-talk was whispering some judgemental things to me. I was hearing words like lazy and unproductive barely under the surface of my subconscious mind.

Within minutes of reading my clients homework, I get a glimpse of what is operating under the surface in their belief systems but when it comes to me it takes a little more work because I am up against MY OWN belief system. And since our belief systems form in the first place as a way to help us survive, sometimes they are not easy to crack into.
I was journaling about this whole thing and as I was experiencing a deeper realization that when I take time off I feel guilty about it, I suddenly heard my mother’s voice talking about my father.

This is where it gets complicated. My father, as I have talked about in other posts was emotionally unavailable. He was a passive abusive father and husband. He abused by his passive ‘whatever’ kind of attitude towards everything. My mother used to say that the house could be burning down and my father would sit in the middle of it playing his guitar and ignoring the emergency. As an adult today I can see why she said that. My mother could not get my father to do anything or even to ‘react to anything’ and I remember as a child thinking my mother was a nag with her constant pleas and complaints about my father and to my father but today I realize that my father’s attitude towards my mother left her feeling unimportant, unsupported, dismissed and devalued. In truth, my mother didn’t really have a husband. My passively abusive father never let my mother have any impact on him and the success of a relationship, the whole basis of equality has so much to do with both people in the relationship having some impact.

More: Connecting the Dots about Passive Abuse and the Truth about Lazy :: Emerging From Broken

Anger and Forgiveness

-healing the harm done by others

"An eye for an eye will only leave the world blind"
Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness heals the person who forgives. We cannot however ever pretend to forgive. Pretence simply does not work with feelings.
Someone lets us down or acts badly towards us or someone we love and we are angry, really angry. This is a natural response. It is not the only possible response but it is an understandable genuine one for a lot of us. If someone has harmed you then clearly you feel a need to protect yourself and those you love and so you feel angry. You then look around to see what you can use your anger for. Is there something you can do so that the person will put right the wrong they have done? We all get angry in relationships regularly because the flux of power is getting unbalanced and our anger helps us to let the other person know that their behaviour is not acceptable to us. Normally this is sufficient, the situation is resolved and the need for forgiveness is out of the way before we even noticed we had it.

However sometimes things do not work out so easily. We find ourselves in a situation which we feel powerless to change and our natural anger cannot find its correct outlet, which would be resolving the problem and then....natural forgiveness and letting go. Sometimes the person does not acknowledge that they have done anything wrong. A Minister once told a friend of mine that it was impossible to forgive a person unless they acknowledge what they have done wrong and I believe he is almost right. It is almost impossible to forgive someone whom you must come in contact with unless the person is able and willing to acknowledge what they have done wrong. To forgive them without this would be foolish because they would likely just do more of the same as soon as they next had the opportunity. If we need to continue seeing the person then it is important to find a way to resolve the situation. If you do not you are allowing the other person to have power over you. If the problem is at work then possibly you can go to a superior and if it is in a personal relationship and you believe you must keep the relationship going and you cannot resolve the problem then I would advise you seek out counselling. Our anger is there for a reason but it is not comfortable living with it for too long. A good counsellor will help you look into the problem and find the resources within yourself to deal with it.

More: Anger and Forgiveness Part 2. Accepting and Resolving our Anger. Learning to Forgive

il Methodo Loiacono

What’s this ?

To support a fellow psychiatrist who was being challenged for practising without drugs, we visited Foggia in south Italy, and found as follows.

IL METODO ALLA SALUTE – AN EXPERT PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION.

1. the magnificence

2. three problems

3. the future

The magnificence of the Metodo alla Salute [Method towards Health] shines through all its problems. There can be no mistaking the confidence, the delight on the faces of the participants, who cluster around the group, like thirsty souls drinking from an oasis in an otherwise blighted desert. Indeed that is exactly what they are doing. Drinking fresh inspiration, self-belief and support, where they had none before. There are problems, there are pinch points in this Metodo that could benefit from being ironed out. But the reality is that today’s psychiatry – classical psychiatry – is so bereft, that what the Metodo alla Salute provides is exceptional – in a word, it is magnificent.

THE MAGNIFICENCE

Human beings are complex. Everyone has a unique personality, unique experiences, and a unique view of what life is really all about. So what Dr Mariano Loiacono has achieved in Foggia is quite remarkable. There is no doubt in my mind, that this approach provides most of what classical psychiatry lacks. What is even more remarkable is that the great strength of character which Mariano needed to build this Metodo has not prevented it from finding its own voice, its own way forward. So many times, an innovation depends on a charismatic personality to start (strength is always needed to innovate) – but once started, it is this very strength which impedes progress. Here we have an example of a strong character building a flexible entity – not a common occurrence.

The most striking feature of the Metodo is the warmth. Individuals of all types, ages, and relationships cluster together, and support each other with warmth and humanity. The process and indeed the organisation itself allows and indeed encourages this – most unusual. And the key to all this, is the flexibility. So many times ‘new’ approaches are started by strong individuals, who then insist that what they have concluded is best for everyone else. But here, there are endless discussions on ‘theory’, here we have a flexible approach to what is actually happening, and indeed, what should be happening. In this way, like a sensitive plant, the human souls in the participants can find their own way to the light, and can flourish and blossom as was always universally their inherent human birthright.

The problems we can discuss later – first we need to emphasise quite what is going on here. The simplest way to do that, is to compare Metodo alla Salute with classical psychiatry – once you do that, it is entirely obvious where the choice, the prize and the praise must go. Classical psychiatry does not mention emotions – it has simply no way of discussing human feelings – and since it cannot ‘see’ them, it can do nothing about them. So a phrase such as ‘the healing hand of kindness’ well known in progressive psychiatry over the centuries – simply does not get mentioned. It’s like a surgeon not bothering to notice bacteria – infected gangrene was just what happened – there was nothing the surgeon could do, because the root of infection was never recognised. So it is with classical psychiatry – emotions, feelings, inclinations, what you want, is simply out of the window – far too woolly for scientific consideration. And yet that is precisely what human beings, human minds require in order to grow. They need support, we all do, and they need encouragement to see their fellows as more like themselves than different. They need to see that they are as good at giving social support as they are at receiving it, that they have value in being able to give support, and that they receive value in being given it by others.

Quite a complicated idea to write down in cold print – but when you see it in action, you cannot but react to it in a human fashion. We are all human, and we respond to humanity – if we do not, then we are suffering, or at least we are seriously handicapped. The Metodo sets out to grow human contact – hugging, sitting on laps, inviting people to express themselves, not only verbally, but also bodily – marvellous to see, and marvellous to experience. Bear in mind that so many damaged individuals have never, ever been hugged, or valued in their entire lives. Here it is, offered freely and for all. Such contact and communication, such freedom of expression is vital when it comes to promoting self-confidence, self-esteem, self-value – whence mental stability, mental health and peace of mind.
Continuing the comparison with classical psychiatry – in Metodo alla Salute there are no diagnoses. Classical psychiatry imposes a diagnostic pattern which helps no one – indeed it inflicts real damage on already vulnerable individuals. Many I have known have received a diagnosis for example, of Personality Disorder, and have been told they have it for life, there is nothing they can do, they are born with it, and must suffer with it, forever. Psychoses are the same – human minds do break down – but they are also enormously resilient and to instruct the sufferers that there is nothing, ever, that can be done is abominable. Once a schizophrenic – always a schizophrenic – what garbage ! It is deplorable, it is damaging and it must stop. But Metodo alla Salute does not even start on these futile and toxic diagnostic expeditions – excellent. Classical psychiatry has much to learn on this point.

Then again there are the drugs. Classical psychiatry has come to be even more dependent on chemicals than the alcoholic on drink. At least with alcohol, everyone knows its advantages, and its disadvantages. Many take it as a social relaxant. But everybody knows that if you rely on it too much, it damages you. Exactly the same applies to every psychiatric drug – they none of them alter the root cause of the disease, and they all have poisonous effects – the newer ones often worse than the older ones – but none are free of toxic damage, most worse than alcohol itself.

More: il Methodo Loiacono | Dr Bob Johnson's website

Who Do You Need To Forgive?

by JUDITH RICH on AUGUST 31, 2012

Every human being who ever walked the earth has a col*lec*tion of beliefs, atti*tudes, opin*ions, behav*iors and sto*ries that speak to his or her strug*gle for self-realization and to their dis*be*lief in them*selves. We all har*bor beliefs that affirm our small*ness and deny our great*ness and thus come up short in rec*og*niz*ing and liv*ing from our high*est and great*est selves.

But if I were required to name a per*son who, for all his human foibles, approaches a state of self-actualization, which Maslow’s Hier*ar*chy of Needs defines as “what a man can be he must be,” I would nom*i*nate Nel*son Man*dela. This is not to say that Man*dela has lived a spot*less life. Far from it. But in spite of all, or per*haps because of all that makes up his own story and the story of his peo*ple, Nel*son Man*dela stands out as one who has achieved a high state of con*scious*ness on the planet today.

Look*ing at the con*text from which Man*dela was shaped, it’s hard to imag*ine that he could have turned out any other way, for he comes out of the African tra*di*tion of ubuntu – “I am what I am because of who we all are.” If we want to get a clue and catch a glimpse of what’s pos*si*ble for human*ity, Nel*son Man*dela would be a good per*son to study.

For him to for*give those who impris*oned him for 27 years, he had to know and believe some*thing that most of the world has failed to grasp. For him to emerge from prison and to state: “As I walked out the door toward my free*dom I knew that if I did not leave all the anger,
hatred and bit*ter*ness behind I would still be in prison.” He had to be con*nected to a belief about the true nature of human*ity and thus his own. He had to be com*mit*ted to liv*ing that belief, unde*terred by the events that resulted in his imprisonment.

What was that belief? I can’t say for sure, but I sus*pect it had some*thing to do with the phi*los*o*phy of ubuntu. Last week’s post: “Embrac*ing the Spirit of Ubuntu,” included the fol*low*ing story told by Mandela:

A trav*eler through a coun*try would stop at a vil*lage and he didn’t have to ask for food or for water. Once he stops, the peo*ple give him food, enter*tain him. That is one aspect of Ubuntu, but it will have var*i*ous aspects. Ubuntu does not mean that peo*ple should not enrich them*selves. The ques*tion there*fore is: Are you going to do so in order to enable the com*mu*nity around you to be able to improve?

In the con*scious*ness of ubuntu, when met with con*flict or harm, for*give*ness is the very path one must travel to know free*dom. There*fore, for Man*dela, for*give*ness was not optional. It was the only way for*ward. It was the only way for him to reclaim his own life and by so doing show the way for oth*ers to reclaim theirs. There was noth*ing to do but for*give those who impris*oned him and per*pet*u*ated the sys*tem of apartheid against his people.

More: Who Do You Need To Forgive? |

Self-Doubt

Surely no one is free of self-doubt; to live without considering the possibility of failing, being wrong, or being disliked, without any uncertainty or internal conflict is not only impossible, it would likely be dangerous. Overconfidence is often no better than a lack of confidence. To the degree that humility and introspection are forms of self-doubt, self-doubt can be healthy. But the kind of self-doubt that indicates a basic lack of self-knowledge, an inability to commit to meeting our needs or pursuing our goals, and a tendency to never trust our own instincts and reason is a bane to happiness and growth. Self-doubt as a chronic state, one that undermines plans and ambitions, interferes with intimacy or new relationships, blocks progress in choosing a career, or consistently induces feelings of anxiety or depression, is not something we need live with.

Psychological Issues Behind Self Doubt
Self-doubt can stem from childhood experiences, for example being subject to criticism or mixed messages from parents and caretakers, having difficulty getting along with peers, missing out on experiences that would foster a sense of confidence and purpose, or not receiving positive reinforcement for our accomplishments.

Self-doubt may be linked to anxiety disorders, depression, or dependent personality disorder. However, self-doubt is much more common than these very serious conditions. Self-doubt may be a temporary state, triggered by changes or disappointments in life. Whether it is chronic or acute, persistent or transient, severe or mild, self-doubt can be troubling and it can be addressed in therapy.

Family of Origin Issues Causing Adult Self Doubt - Case Example
Jamie, 27, enters therapy for treatment of anxiety. He is generally a happy person, but seems to miss out on social, romantic, and occupational opportunities due to a lack of confidence. Therapy reveals great ambivalence about his sexuality. Jamie discloses a stifling religious background, a father who was unfaithful to Jamie’s mother repeatedly, and rather negative peer influences. Therapy helps Jamie understand the unconscious beliefs he developed growing up in that circumstance, and begin to be able to discard false, unhelpful beliefs in favor of true, positive ones – such as ceasing believing that sexuality is shameful and choosing to see it as healthy and beautiful. The therapist recommends several activities to Jamie – dance classes, martial arts, a men’s and women’s therapy group – that help Jamie overcome his shyness and self-doubt.

Link: Therapy for Self Doubt, Therapist for Self Doubt Issues Behind Self Doubt

Are You Plagued With Self-Doubt?

Self-doubt is not always low self-esteem

Published on April 18, 2011 by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. in The Legacy of Distorted Love

Adult children raised by narcissistic parents internalize negative messages about themselves that can be unwound and released with good recovery work. As you went through each childhood stage of growth and development with your reality tested by negative messages from your parent, you learned at an early age to question yourself. When you are raised to conscript to a certain mold and your place is to serve the parent rather than the parent augmenting your sense of self... interesting things happen. One of those things is that you grow up with a continual and nagging self-doubt. Does this mean you have low self-esteem? Not always. But, self-doubt and low self-esteem seem to get smushed together as the same thing.

It makes sense that if your parent continually told you that your thoughts and feelings were wrong, that you were too sensitive, that you should not question that parent, that you are not good enough no matter how hard you try... you might still be somewhat haunted by self-doubt. This does not mean you are necessarily a person with low self-esteem. Self-esteem is a continuum that ranges from very low to very high and many levels in between. While everyone may suffer from intermittent self-doubt, children raised by narcissists are pre-programmed to question themselves.

Having worked with many adult children raised by narcissistic parents, I see men and women who took the message of "I'm not good enough," from childhood and said "Let me show you I am worthy." A significant portion of women in my study became what I call the Mary Marvels and they are strong, independent, high achieving women who have accomplished amazing things. They have good self-esteem, but can still be plagued by self-doubt.

Self-esteem can be defined as someone who has a decent opinion of self without grandiosity. One who sees self as a good person, hard working, reliable, honest, friendly, and able to like and love him or herself for who they are. This does not mean that self-doubt will never crop up. The Mary Marvels of my study seem to have learned that, "A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her." David Brinkley.

The problems I do see that warrant serious recovery work are: (1) the inability to give oneself credit, and (2) sometimes feeling like an imposter. I think these issues are caused from the self-doubt and negative childhood messages. But they can be addressed. Let's take a closer look.

More: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ued-self-doubt

Crossing the Spiritual Desert

Posted: 10/06/10 08:00 AM ET

Rx For The Soul: For spiritual beings learning to be human - Judith Rich | Rx For The Soul | Author, Trainer and Coach.

Isn't it great when you're just cruising along in life, the wind is at your back, all the lights are green and all systems are "Go?" In times like this, it feels as though you've tapped into some kind of magical force, as every choice you make, every action you take manifests at a level even beyond your own expectations.

Life seems effortless, like you've finally learned the steps to the great cosmic dance of the universe. No more doubt and hesitation, no more confusion and uncertainty, just clear skies and smooth sailing ahead. Your relationships feel full and nourishing, creative ideas flow, work is satisfying, opportunities abound. Your cup is filled to the brim and overflowing. Life doesn't get any better.

In times like these, you might even start feeling a bit cocky and take one hand off the wheel, ease up on the gas, put the top down and let the wind blow through your hair. You might even put your life on cruise control, knowing that you're in the "groove" and your momentum will carry you to wherever you're going.

Life seems almost too good to be true. Maybe that thought even crosses your mind. As in, "Wow, I wonder how long this can possibly last?" But you dismiss that thought as life's goodness just keeps coming and you're enjoying the ride.

And then, so imperceptibly that you hardly even notice, some subtle shifts occur. That new client you thought you'd landed becomes hesitant, the payment you were expecting is delayed, your significant other starts getting cranky, those creative juices start to dry up and new opportunities seem a bit out of reach.

You hardly notice, that while the wind was blowing through your hair and you were on cruise control kicking back enjoying the ride, your life went into neutral and your forward momentum began to slow. Even as you lose momentum, you have a set of good stories and excuses to entertain and distract your mind and for awhile, you don't even notice the change. From where you're looking, everything still seems to be moving in the right direction.

You failed to see that you'd taken your foot off the gas. You got so distracted by the beautiful scenery you forgot to be present, in the moment, aware of the "dance" and how to move in it. Perhaps you became so seduced by the trance of comfort and ease you stopped paying attention to the subtle guidance that got you out on the dance floor in the first place, rivaling Fred Astaire or Ginger Rodgers with your stellar moves.

Ever so gradually, those green lights turn yellow, your momentum slows down, and one day, the yellow lights turn red and you come to a dead stop. You find yourself deposited at the doorstep of what seems like a vast desert.

More: Dr. Judith Rich: Crossing the Spiritual Desert

Psychodynamic therapy came from psychoanalysis. Even though it's different, it's the same mindset. It might just be effective because it's closer to other, actually therapeutic mindsets, which psychoanalysis has thoroughly proven it is not.

I'm not against psychodynamic therapy. I'm just saying the logic behind it is still utterly flawed, even though it has a new wrapping. If it works, it works, but that doesn't make the underlying assumptions true.

curing mental pain 1.mov

Dr Bob Johnson

Uploaded on Apr 3, 2011
The traumagenic model now centres on the concept of the 'parentoid', a mental figment found in adults who were malattached as infants. It's psychiatric significance is that it perpetuates itself, like any other emotional blind-spot, by becoming too fearsome to be thought about, or thought through. Uniquely among psychiatric treatments, this gives an endpoint that is obvious to all from the outset -- viz the restoration of normal healthy rational thought. Thresholds vary, as does symptomatology -- but all clear when the parentoid is evicted by means of the Healing Hand of Kindness with Insight. The severity of the pathology determines the time required, which can be anything between ½ an hour to decades. It's not today's parent who is at fault, it's the residue of a parental figment, deeply learned by an insecurely attached infant, which is now out of date, and can, eventually, be shown to be so. A 100% cure is guaranteed to those who finish the course.

More:

Our Wounded Parts are Not Wrong: Learning to Love Ourselves

By Phyllis Stein, Ph.D.

December 31, 2006

Are you struggling with loving yourself? This article will help you to compassionately embrace the part of yourself that believes there is something wrong with you.

I think a lot of the struggle that we go through in order to learn to love ourselves comes from the misconception that we have to convince a part of ourselves that thinks we are unlovable to change its mind. All this does is produce an inner argument that no one can win. For me, it helps to see all of these unloving parts as wounded kids, trying to figure out the best way to make it okay. None of these kids is bad or even unacceptable; they just don't know things that another part of you now does. They absolutely want the same thing that you do, to be okay.

If I see these feelings as coming from a kid, it is not so hard for me to shift to having compassion for that kid and to see that she needs my help. She has some false beliefs that need healing. This is not the same as convincing her she is wrong. Making this wounded part "wrong" just makes her feel even more unlovable. Only if this wounded kid feels your compassion and feels that you are willing to understand the good reasons for the belief and how that belief made things more okay can you begin to help her. In a way, you are making her "right."

For example, I was stunned to realize that I believed that I was supposed to suffer. I was totally willing to be in a marriage where I was suffering much of the time. It is obvious now that the wounded part of me that was in charge of life was not treating me in a very loving way! But she had good reasons. When I was little, my parents totally believed that suffering was good for you. If I wanted anything, I had to suffer first. Then (maybe but not necessarily) I would get it. If I had been able to love myself and realize, as I do now, that God does not want people, including me, to suffer, my life would have been unbearable.

There is nothing unlovable about a child who had to make the best of that situation. There is nothing unlovable about any of your kids either. They were just trying to make the best of things using only the limited knowledge of a child.

More: Our Wounded Parts are Not Wrong: Learning to Love Ourselves

Lives Restored

A series profiling people who are functioning normally despite severe mental illness and have chosen to speak out about their struggles.

Link: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/s...d-series.html#

After Drugs and Dark Times, Helping Others to Stand Back Up

By BENEDICT CAREY

December 19, 2011

Addicts often “slip” and have to sober up, but addicts with a severe mental diagnosis can fall so far, so fast that they risk losing everything. It almost happened to Antonio Lambert last year, when, after seven years clean, he had a taste of cocaine and was quickly consumed by feelings of despair, abandonment and reckless energy that defined his childhood. Yet this time he stopped himself from falling too far; he faced his mistake and talked himself down – using the same skills he now teaches to many others, as a prominent trainer of peer specialists, ex-patients who are helping to reshape mental health care.

Related Article » http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/20/health/20lives.html

Finding Purpose After Living With Delusion

By BENEDICT CAREY

November 25, 2011

In the delusional world that he inhabited for years as a younger man, Milt Greek was grandiose, messianic. He was sure that he was in contact with God and Jesus, and that he had a mission: to save the world from itself. After receiving treatment for his schizophrenia, Mr. Greek saw those thoughts as a product of psychosis – but as relevant as ever, in maintaining his recovery. He takes medication and occasionally visits a therapist, but to stay well he needs to be working to better the world, or at least his own community.

RELATED ARTICLE » http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/26/he...ly-living.html

A High-Profile Executive Job as Defense Against Mental Ills

By BENEDICT CAREY

October 22, 2011

The despair and paranoia come on so fast that Keris Myrick needs to move – out of the office, out of her apartment – and get some space. That mental load eventually drove Ms. Myrick, who has a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, out of a job and a career. But after repeated trials, she found that the only way to stabilize her internal stress was to take on equally steep external ones, as a chief executive – and give herself emotional breaks, to avert breakdowns.

RELATED ARTICLE » http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/health/23lives.html

Learning to Cope With a Mind’s Taunting Voices

By BENEDICT CAREY

August 6, 2011

It seemed impossible, but there was no other explanation: the voices telling Joe Holt that he was finished, a loser, that he should kill himself – they existed only in his own head. Mr. Holt, a computer programmer with a diagnosis of schizophrenia, could attribute the voices to any number of things, including childhood abuse and abandonment. But that, in the end, was beside the point; he had to learn to answer, rebut and live with them.

RELATED ARTICLE » http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/07/health/07lives.html

Expert on Mental Illness Reveals Her Own Fight

By BENEDICT CAREY

June 23, 2011

Are you one of us? The patient wanted to know, and her therapist – Marsha M. Linehan of the University of Washington, creator of a treatment used worldwide for severely suicidal people – had a ready answer to cut the question short. But she didn’t use it. She broke down and told the truth about her own suicidal past for the first time – and what it took, personally and professionally, to overcome it.

RELATED ARTICLE » http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html

Treating Psychosis

Richard Bentall.

The Talk

The clinical psychologist and author of Madness Explained presents new evidence for the limitations of anti-psychotic medication and of the psychiatric establishment.

"Full of insight and humanity" The Times

More: Treating Psychosis - The Limitations of Anti-Psychotic Medication » IAI TV

Unwanted thoughts: Are They Really Dangerous?

Roger Covin, Ph.DPsychologist, Author of "The Need to be Liked

Posted: 03/ 2/2012 2:49 pm

Sometimes, while waiting for the subway, I imagine someone getting pushed in front of the train.

Does this sound like someone with good mental health? A patient in need of medication or a good therapist?

Nope. The above quote comes from me -- a clinical psychologist!

It is a line that I often use with a number of clients seeking therapy -- particularly clients suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

There may be a few questions swirling around in your head at this point, such as "Why do you tell clients about your crazy thoughts?" or "Hey, should this guy have a license to work with the public?"

However, I bet there are readers who are thinking "Oh thank god, I am not the only one who experiences weird and random thoughts of violence."

Intrusive Thoughts

Psychologists have known for a long time that "normal" people experience all kinds of thoughts, images, and impulses -- including those of violence and repugnant sexual acts. They are referred to as intrusive thoughts because they pop into people's minds without their control.

In 1978, psychologists studying obsessive thinking asked a group of healthy and normal people (e.g. students and professionals) whether they experience intrusive thoughts, and if so, what is the nature of these thoughts.

The psychologists discovered that the majority of people admitted to having intrusive thoughts. Not surprising.

What is perhaps more interesting was the nature or content of these thoughts. Here are several examples from participants in that study:

Thoughts of harming another person
The impulse to jump in front of the train
Thoughts of acts of violence while having sex
The impulse to harm, or be violent towards children
The impulse to crash their car while driving
The impulse to violently attack or kill another person
Thoughts of suicide

In 1980, a different group of psychologists published a paper that described the development of a questionnaire called the Automatic Thoughts Questionnaire (a popular measure used today in research and practice). The researchers gave a large group of university students a list of thoughts that might have popped into their heads over the past week. Again, the psychologists found that these student volunteers experienced a range of negative thoughts, such as "I'm worthless," "I'm a failure," and "I'm no good."

More: Roger Covin, Ph.D: Unwanted thoughts: Are They Really Dangerous?

Is Mind Reading Making You Depressed and Anxious?

Roger Covin, Ph.DPsychologist, Author of "The Need to be Liked

Posted: 03/12/2012 6:10 pm

Imagine you're having coffee with your spouse or significant other. They seem a bit quiet, and you ask if everything is all right. They say that everything is fine. Do you believe them?

Or, do you think, "He/ she is unhappy with me."

It is very common and normal to try and guess what other people are thinking. Psychologists call it mind reading. However, when most of these guesses are negative -- when you assume that others are often thinking negatively of you -- it can affect your mental well-being.

My colleagues and I evaluated how frequently university students engage in mind reading and found that in social/interpersonal situations (i.e., with friends, family and romantic partners), it is a fairly common thought process (1).

The ability to understand what other people are thinking is a helpful tool. It is part of your social skill repertoire. Most of us have met people who just don't seem able to accurately read what others think, and the consequences of this social skills deficit can be severe (e.g. being disliked or excluded).

However, the determining factor in whether mind reading is healthy and adaptive or unhealthy and dysfunctional is accuracy. There are basically two types of accuracy errors that cause problems.

The first is being unable to accurately recognize when others are upset or unhappy with you. This can lead to being considered unlikeable and socially isolated. For example, if you are terrible at telling jokes and are sometimes even offensive, yet cannot recognize this reaction in others, then you are probably going to pay the social cost (e.g. not being invited to parties).

More: Roger Covin, Ph.D: Is Mind Reading Making You Depressed and Anxious?

Rejection Phobia: Explained

Roger Covin, Ph.DPsychologist, Author of "The Need to be Liked

Posted: 06/21/2012 2:43 pm

I recently wrote about rejection phobia and the impact it can have on people's lives. One of the more tragic aspects of rejection phobia is how self-sustaining the problem can be. In fact, people who are rejection phobic ultimately fabricate their own reality that perpetuates their phobia and can leave them socially isolated.

Rejection phobia is always associated with a core belief about the self -- the more common ones being:

"I am unlikeable"
"I am defective in some fundamental way"
"I am unacceptable the way I currently am"
Here's the surprising thing about these beliefs -- the person with rejection phobia is often correct in their self-assessment. Put differently, the beliefs they have formed are the most appropriate conclusions to be drawn from their subjective experiences in social situations and relationships.

Indeed, one the central causal factors in rejection phobia is that these individuals fabricate a special type of reality.

Cognition, Reality Formation and Rejection Phobia

A good understanding of psychology in general, and mental health in particular, starts with a solid understanding of the basic brain processes that get used on a daily basis. One cannot underestimate the importance and influence of these basic processes, as they literally shape our reality.

While there are many cognitive processes that could be discussed, the three that are most important for the current purposes are:

(1) attention
(2) interpretation
(3) memory

More: Roger Covin, Ph.D: Rejection Phobia: Explained

Hi, I'm new here but I already had red some good stuff in this theme.
My question: is here lot people, who had full recovered and I mean without medicine? I would like to talk to such a persons