Should I worry?

About my t putting me in the hospital? I don't really trust her so I'm really holding alot back. Cause my thoughts right now about self harm and Sui are really bothering me but I don't need to be in the hospital. I'm really paranoid that my family has plans to put me in and my therapist can use my info as fuel.

Clinte89,

My advice is to stop holding out on your therapist, or stop going to therapy. If you are keeping secrets that you know would be important to reveal for your recovery, how do you expect to recover?

Additionally, why is it that you believe she may be thinking of putting you into the hospital? Are you seriously considering harming yourself or others? If this is the case, then perhaps you should check in for a little "tune up."

Therapists are more likely to seek legal means to admit a patient involuntarily, if they believe that their patient is not talking, and instead hinting...tossing breadcrumbs of suicidal ideation at the therapist's feet.

A majority of us here have thought about suicide. Thinking about it is not a red flag for a therapist. Means, date and level of distress, are all considered before any therapist would even begin to worry.

Fear not, Clinte. I seriously doubt you are headed to the "House of Horrors."

Truth,

-Fleeing Bellocq, Muse of the Mission District

Thanks I guess I'll open up more cause I do wish to get better. Thanks for the advice ill stay in therapy and just be honest. Yeah I do have a Sui plan but I'm not considering it because it not a solution. Although it is getting easier todo it because I think about it so much. Self harm is also a thought but I haven't done that in three months so I'm proud of that . I know your right though so ill open up. Thanks again for the advice.

Clinte89,

I am really glad to hear this. My chart reads chronically suicidal. I absolutely understand how you were feeling.

Thanks fleeing, I feel I'm chronically suicidal myself. It's just part if it for me. The thoughts come happy or sad. Coming when happy is quite the conundrum. So I guess I'll tell her all the good news today. Lol

Trust is an important thing with a therapist and of you really don't trust this one maybe you need to find a different one.
However, I noticed in another of your threads that you were feeling a bit paranoid that people on the forum didn't like you (which I don't think is true- I like your posts even when I don't reply) so it makes me wonder if this not trusting your therapist is more of the same paranoia, same with the family, do you think your fears are rational or maybe part of the illness. Just a thought
Sorry you are feeling suicidal but as previously posted we often get like that and it really depends on how seriously your thoughts and plans are getting as to whether you need hospital and if they are serious then you really need to be kept safe.
Best wishes and