I need to talk

I'm depressed now m. This rapid cycling as its called is hell. I've had it plenty of times before but this seems worse.

I'm back to my Sui thoughts and planning. I can't stop, I can't get it to go away. I feel terrible and have no one to talk to.

No one is available to talk to me. I need a friend, your my friends so I hope I don't bother you with my tales of sorrow.

I was happy earlier, now I'm sad I feel like dieing. I don't know what to do.

I'm thinking about taking a seroquel and passing out.

Hi Clinte89,

Just wanted to offer a cyber hug and let you know you're not the only one who has felt this way.

When I start feeling like this, I try to remind myself that things will be better soon, and then I try to sleep through the bad stuff. If I take a sleeping pill, I'm careful not to take too much so I don't risk overdosing without meaning to do so.

I take half an Ambien. Just half.

What were you doing when you were feeling better? Were you working on a certain project?

If so, would it help to take a look at that project and remind yourself what a great job you did, the difference you have made in someone's life, the joy that your project can bring to others, etc.?

When I'm feeling like I haven't accomplished anything in life, I try to remind myself that I did a great job raising a child who is now an adult and living on his own. I also look at the nonprofit group that I've been involved with for about 15 years, and think of the events and speakers that I've brought to the group, which has made a difference in the members' lives and fueled their own creativity.

I know it's difficult sometimes to think beyond the pain and look forward to something, but there has got to be something for you to look forward to.

Let's find it.

Have you called your dr today??

I went and saw him. He upded my gabapentin and told me to drop my lamictal in half.

Did he say anything about the Sui thoughts?

have you gone in support chat to see if that helps this low spell? maybe just support will help, if not calling a counceling or crisis line for help or advice... I hope you are able to pull out of this current slump.

The sui thoughts you just have to fight against them. They won't stop necessarily but just don't give in to them. Sometimes the only thing you can do is hold on for dear life until they stop. I've been there myself.

I'm glad you saw your doctor.

thanks me only. and moose he said if I feel I need to go to the hospital to call him and he can get me admitted quickly.

Do whatever you think will be safest, Clint.

Please go if you even sort of think you should. It's been days of these thoughts.

I'm trying to stay out for 6 months so I can be a peer specialist so well see. Trying to stay safe as possible.

But .... If you need it yours no good as a peer specialist anyway. if you need help you need help!

Good point. ill see how it goes and keep you all updated.

The reason why they have that rule is to make sure your healthy enough to help others.They want to make sure you can handle both your mental heath and your peers. Please don't let that affect your health. You'd be doing a disservices to yourself and peers.

I suppose your right. I think I'm going to end up in the hospital. Ugh it would be my 6 th time. I do t want that.

Hang in there buddy!

Cliente,I have read some of the most inspiring poetry that you had wriiten on a post. You are a gifted writer. When you write your emotions and feelings down in words, it helps to put perspective on what you are going through, does this make sense? continue your writing, expressing your thoughts. keep posting you matter.
warm thoughts

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