[Darth Bane]

you might remember when i wrote about how i was doing masters in computers from one of the best university and then because of depressive episode i left it in middle... after 2-3 years now i am feeling little better but obviously manic..

so i am trying for MBA, got calls from 9 good institute and yesterday it was interview call from one of those institute... i prepared little bit, traveled hundreds of miles to that city,took room there(which wasn't cheap)... so next day i have interview my room is near to interview venue, i am reading bit of notes from my engineering,masters... currently i am manic after 3 years of depression and since its bipolar 2, i am not much manic but still overconfident.... and i am thinking why should i take admission in not so great university... university where i was doing my masters is one of the best and i got call from same university MBA dept too... so i am comparing all these colleges and i am thinking.... before depression i was so good,i have all handwritten notes there with me from my college years,i remembered every single exam,success i achieved and i am thinking why should i settle for less... my depression isn't over yet but i am sure next year i will be at my best... i am thinking how ambitious i was,my dreams and all ...

so at that night i decide out of these 9 colleges i will settle for only top 3...only those colleges i would have accepted if i had completed my masters... i should pretend these three bad years never happened and based on this take my decision... if i don't get it this year,next year will surely be great... but it will need bit luck to get into these top 3 colleges,they are really good.. so i decide to appear for current interview,experience interview improve myself for next one right.. so i closed my notebooks and went to sleep at 1 am..

i have interview at 8.30 am... but i couldn't sleep... every hour i am checking watch if its time... at 4 am i again woke up checked time... and suddenly i am thinking, i am not going to take admission in this college right... so why appear for interview, what if this interview which is my first in last 3 years and also first stressful thing in long time,what if it went bad,wont i be discouraged? i am currently sleepy at this time... suddenly i get excited, i think about top 3 calls i have and decide to try for only those,if i don't get in those then there will be surely great next year... so i turn off all alarms of my cell and ipod and went to sleep.........

i woke up at 9.00 am missed interview.... so current situation is like after 3 years i had chance for sure success and i didn't take it... perhaps i was just afraid to face interview... i was surely afraid how bad interview will affect my self esteem which at this stage very fragile,recovering from depression... i don't know... i wasn't gonna accept admission into this b-school but it was like i went in front of the institute gate for interview... but couldn't cross threshold and turned back.... i am not sure what to think,my next interview is at 11th march which is extremely important and i will be very happy if i succeed in it.... i have described what happened in detail... i don't regret my decision to skip interview but i was sleepy when i switched alarms off... so what do you think about this all incident... please tell me your opinions about this all... i am manic/overconfident now and not thinking straight so currently don't trust myself enough...

[Moose72]

I'm sorry you slept through your alarms. Maybe you were just nervous or maybe staying up that late just have you a sleep deficit?

[Victoria'smom]

Go to all the interviews and apply to all 9 schools. See which ones you get into. You can always decline but you can't let this time decide anything. It's wonderful for interviews though.

[Darth Bane]

that staying up for late was one of the reason and i was tired after that much travel.... i off course wanted to attend all interview... but you know how it is,some things you just don't want to do... if you still tried to do them you get stress and feel like your head will explode

it is as if there is fight between my manic mind and my depressed mind and i am caught in between.... and currently my manic mind has some edge... but still i am happy, at least i did something... went for my first interview in 3 years... instead i could have been sleeping in my room watching tv but i wasnt... at least i tried!!!!

[hamster-bamster]

You need to prepare for the interview on March 11.

1) If the interview is in another time zone, arrive early. Not the night before the interview, but 1-2 days earlier. Yes,pay for the motel.

2) You absolutely must have a good sleep medicine. It is the most important thing in life, unless you are sleeping reliably and consistently on your own.

3) Ask 1-2 people to call you to provide a back-up for the alarm. Ask them to call at slightly different times.

4) Use your cell phone's alarm in addition to your real alarm. Use both, again, at slightly different times.

5) If possible, exercise in the morning before the morning of the interview. At least walk for an hour.

6) When you get up on the morning of the interview, have a high protein breakfast. Eggs, yogurt, cheese. A yogurt parfait with berries from Starbucks would be nice. There is a SB everywhere.

7) Drink lots of fluids - it is necessary for having a clear mind and responding to the interview questions on the spot.

If you do 1-7, you should be all set.

[BlueInanna]

^^Those are great ideas. Maybe you were having some social anxiety too, or the excitement kept you awake. But yes, good sleep is key. I've travelled a long way for business to only get stressed out from travel, go drink alone in hotel stinky bar, and have so much trouble waking up early. These days, I follow a strict routine like Hammie's. My last business trip I was quite on my game. I hope your next one will go much better.

[Darth Bane]

those are nice ideas... as if specially created for us bipolar s ... i have thought about this incident again and again and i guess i was tired and sleepy when i decided to skip that... should have attended interview it would have reduced stress for next interview...

when i was in college i used to sleep for just 5-6 hours before any exam... it worked then,but now i lack determination for all this... i have to be completely awake if i am going to force myself to do some work............. thanks for replies...

[hamster-bamster]

My sleep requirements have increased with age.