[Kristiemarie]

I am so upset. My daughter dropped my iPad face down on my ceramic tile and cracked the screen pretty badly. I didn't yell. However, the look on my face was enough. I started crying, she started crying. I feel horrible for making her feel horrible by bursting into tears but I was SO upset. I think it might have been better to yell. I know, it's stupid to be so upset over a "thing" but I am. I told her I wasn't mad at her, and that I was just sad because it was broken. I really am not mad. Just sad. I think she understands. She seems to be ok now and I've reiterated that I love her more than I would/could love any iPad. But every time I look at my iPad I get all teary. I can't even think about "the incident" without wanting to cry.

I really feel crazy today.

And I feel stupid. Really childish and stupid. It is the one thing in the house that means a lot to me (aside from family and pets of course). But seriously? Why can I KNOW that I'm being so stupid and immature about something and still not be able to stop myself from feeling like this??

I am going through some weird crap the past two days.

Last night, paranoia. Today, irrational outbursts. I didn't yell at any of my kids or my dogs today so at least that's progress. But I did have it out with my husband last night over some stuff (that was valid) and did it as calmly as could be, despite saying the most awful things to him (which were not valid). Apparently, I'm a much nicer person when I'm an emotional wreck.

I also did not get a phone call that I have been desperately waiting for for the past two weeks. Which makes me feel really worthless. No one wants me. I'm an out of work loser who can't get a job even though I apply for jobs I am definitely qualified for.

I am really feeling helpless right now. Overwhelmed. I don't even know. It just seems like everything is crashing down today. I am a disaster inside of a train wreck wrapped in an explosion.

And what's worse, is that there are so many people out there who have real reasons to be depressed or hopeless and here I am, all sorry for myself and I feel like I shouldn't be.

I just want to get in my car and drive away.

[roads]

For many of us, our tech-toys are the equivalent of blankies for babies ... they sooth, comfort, take away the fear and pain.

I'm sorry what happened. It sounds as if you handled the situation about as well as anyone could. You aren't a bad person or a bad mother. Lots of negative stuff is filling up your world these days, but not things you're bringing on by bad behaviour or because you deserve it.

The world's a mess, and many families like yours are suffering because of a growing number of problems that they have no control over. I think you know all this, but some days it's easier to think it's just you.

It's not you. It's life. & the odds that someone's tech-toy will die by accident today.

roadie

[Chupacabra]

Sorry you're having a rough time. Sounds like you could maybe use a release? Do you like to do anything "creative?" I often find myself scribbling all my crazy thoughts onto pages & pages. Started doing this to keep from doing other maladaptive behaviors. Sometimes when I'm all done I feel better- drained of all the crazy thoughts & able to relax. Or maybe you have some dishes you don't like much? Put them in a bag, go outside & smash them. Or just take a hot shower & cry.

Keep your chin up. Hope you get to feeling better.

[Travelinglady]

You were feeling stressed out anyway. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Okay?

[THE16THDOCTOR]

First, you could have easily reacted terribly and you didn't. How many parents would have absolutely erupted at the dropping of an iPad by their kid? Many many many would have reacted in the heat of the moment with furious anger. You acknowledge that it's just stuff and it was an accident. That's a great thing. Not everyone can do that.
Second, I work as a case worker for adults with mental illness (having bipolar and panic disorder the irony is not lost on me) and the job market is horrendous. Unfortunately it is so much harder to find a job in any field. You'll get something. I work through the state and the average time to find new employment can last up to 12 months bc it's soooooooo f'n bad. Cheer up you'll do a company great.
Do you have Xanax or klonipin maybe to relax the extreme sense of anxiety and being overwhelmed.

[Darth Bane]

i hated my mom when she dropped water on my precious nokia... that nokia was like good luck charm for me and it is dead.... i suggest get new ipod soon then you will forget all about this immediately.....