I am completely alone and dying inside. At the end of my rope. Have no where left to turn.

[Darth Bane]

are you eating healthy??? it makes you feel better... and getting enough sleep everyday?? and sunlight is good in depression... and sharing helps...... write everything you feel here... the more you share the more you will feel better.... we are listening......

Writing in a journal might help. It will enable you to see things that are not readily
observed in yourself immediately.

Meditation also helps when lonely or depressed.

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist for an evaluation? You may have something chemically that is going on that needs attention. There are medications that can help with what you are experiencing; a psychiatrist is the best one to
see about that.

Take care of yourself; it can get better with help.

Originally Posted by Darth Bane

are you eating healthy??? it makes you feel better... and getting enough sleep everyday?? and sunlight is good in depression... and sharing helps...... write everything you feel here... the more you share the more you will feel better.... we are listening......

Thank you Bane. I am getting decent amount of sleep and am on a gluten free diet which has helped a lot. I have spent the last week in superwoman mode , that being said I knew what was coming, felt the darkness creeping back into me yesterday. What really upset me was that I was doing everything right, mindful thinking, yoga, meditation and exercise, taking control of me. It scares me when darkness starts setting back in, I have no one to depend on so i end up going through this by myself.I never know how long its going to last or how bad it will be. In the past I have ended up with very dark thoughts and in the hospital. I am feeling better this morning, hoping that's a good sign. Just wanted to say to I have a poem I wrote it called " Lost in my own mind " . I saw you have the words written on your post. Thank you for the support.

[faerie_moon_x]

Some things that help me is forcing myself into the shower. Sometimes standing in a nice hot shower and washing my hair really helps me feel human instead of like a big blob of nothingness.

I also like the sunshine idea. If you don't get outside very much, your body starts to freak out even if you don't realize it. Go for a short walk in the sun if you can. Getting out and moving is helpful. You may not feel like doing it but forcing yourself to do it, you'll realize after that you feel better.

Originally Posted by genetic

Writing in a journal might help. It will enable you to see things that are not readily
observed in yourself immediately.

Meditation also helps when lonely or depressed.

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist for an evaluation? You may have something chemically that is going on that needs attention. There are medications that can help with what you are experiencing; a psychiatrist is the best one to
see about that.

Take care of yourself; it can get better with help.

Thank you for your suggestions. I am without insurance at the moment so treatment and meds are out of reach for now. Have tried antidepressants in the past, they left me feeling suicidal. Truth be told I am afraid of meds and doctors from past experience. Just going to wing it on own for a while. Just need some support .

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Some things that help me is forcing myself into the shower. Sometimes standing in a nice hot shower and washing my hair really helps me feel human instead of like a big blob of nothingness.

I also like the sunshine idea. If you don't get outside very much, your body starts to freak out even if you don't realize it. Go for a short walk in the sun if you can. Getting out and moving is helpful. You may not feel like doing it but forcing yourself to do it, you'll realize after that you feel better.

Thank you. Its very cold and dreary here at the moment, not helping things. Just hard to deal with all of this by myself.

Really like your quote about mental health care and guns, sad but true.