[sarajane]

Things have been very stressful in my life:

• the water heater broke
• the furnace broke
• the pipes froze
• two dogs we'd given away were brought back
• my pain meds stopped working
• the car is screwed up
• my therapist quit
• I started having severe anxiety
• our computer died

I have Psoriatic arthritis, osteoarthritis, lupus, bipolar disorder, PTSD and low self-worth. I was trying to work through these issues, along with past childhood abuse and learning about what I can control in my life, when my therapist up and left in October. I have been slowly falling apart.

I was already on Risperdal, two different doses of Paxil CR and Abilify. They ended up adding Klonopin because of anxiety and rage. I also take meds for my other ailments. In total, I am on 25 different medications.

I live with chronic pain ... scale range 6 to 8 is normal for me. It's really hard for me to do things around the house, but my sister expects me to keep it clean because she works and I don't. She doesn't help out around here at all. I really feel like a servant or an inn-keeper.

Online, I found support groups. I don't leave the house very often (once or twice a week) so the computer was my connection to the world. On the 24th of February, it died. I really fell apart after that. I'd made friends who were helping me and I was learning strategies to deal with my issues ... then it was all gone. I climbed into bed and stayed there as much as I could, sleeping 18 - 20 hours a day. The housework didn't get done.

A friend I had made online in one of the groups sent me a 'loaner' computer to get me through until the old one can be repaired/replaced. It arrived last Thursday, the 7th. Since then, I've been going to my groups and getting back on a cleaning schedule. The house is slowly looking better, but I have a long way to go.

Now, for the new issue: I think I am heading into a manic phase. I've been sleeping in stages, the longest 'nap' I've had in the past two weeks has been three hours long. Most of the time, I'm sleeping 45 minutes to an hour and a half. I'm really irritable, my thoughts are racing, I'm spending money I can't afford, I'm smoking like a fiend (e-cigarette) and I have no tolerance for people.

I'm really not sure what to do to keep from going into a full manic episode. I have had six in my life -- the longest one lasted 10 months. I'm afraid of hurting my pets, going even more into debt, losing my place to live and having my friends abandon me.

I could really use some constructive suggestions.
Thank you

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, it's no wonder you feel terrible. The list of negative stuff going on around you would make anyone feel terrible.

Your T left so do you have a way of finding a new T? I know it can be hard to find a new one that you feel comfortable with sometimes. Do you have a pdoc? Sometimes giving warning to the doctor about what's going on can help on a medication level, since you're already on meds.

Do you have any strategies that you learned from your old T for coping skills? Sometimes using what you learned can be helpful even if you're on your own. Or you can try meditation, see if you can calm the mind a bit. Also make sure you're eating right or as close as possible. Try going to bed at the same time even if you just lay there. Try to get into a routine, the bipolar brain loves a good routine.

Those are my only suggestions. I'm guessing there is some tension with your sister. Does she support you when it comes to bipolar? Maybe let her know you're not doing so well if she does.

I don't know if this will help but u could try some dbt skills. Just look up dbt skills online. I'm going through a lot that u are although when I'm in a mania or mixed state my pain goes down bc adrenaline is pumping so hard.

Dialectical behavior therapy helps me when I feel like I just can't take ANYMORE!