[Resident Bipolar]

Three days off my Seroquel, Citalopram, Circadin and Lorazepam and well...I've had 4 hours of sleep on those three days. My mood is, well I'm not even sure if I'm happy or sad. I can't seem to decide! Though suicidal thoughts are definitely creeping up.

All I want, is to be able to sleep without tablets. Wake up without still feeling the lethargy these tablets cause.

I'm just wandering through life. I'm not living. I'm just existing. And I'm running out of time and patience.

[Clinte89]

I'm sorry your feeling this way. Maybe it's time to see if there are some different meds you can take. When I was feeling lethargic I would tell my doc and he would give me something else. Just something to think about.

[catsrhelm]

It's possible that you are on the wrong medications. That s**t happens sometimes. Do you have an appointment with a PDoc or therapist coming up? If not, you may want to try to schedule one. Talk with the PDoc about your past medications and what they did to you. That way you could be put on the right medications.

[Confusedinomicon]

You will get withdrawal from cold turkey. Its not safe either. :/

[venusss]

Quitting cold turkey is veeeery bad idea. ANd withdrawal is not a proof you need meds either.

[Anika.]

Takes time and patients RB to come off them slowly . Coming off them suddenly and all at once can be a reciepe for disaster. It took me almost a year to come off all 6 of my meds. Your brain and body is used to being fed a constant supply of those chemicals, cutting off supply suddenly ya shocks your system. It's not a good way to see how you are off meds because as others said it's a state of withdrawal not a state of stability that you find yourself in. Not unlike coming off any other drugs.

That old saying slow and steady wins the race is not for nothing. Take your time, plan it out and figure out what to taper down and off of and in what order. I don't think it's just a case of wrong or right meds. I tried so many combos, so many meds for so many years. I have a massive pile of old meds..well over 40 and I never found any that left me feeling right or well.

But I think if you seriously want to come off them you need a good plan in place.

[AeonDM]

I am worried for you. I hope you are not alone during withdrawal. Better get a contingency plan ready. Don't be alone. Does your family or close ones know what you are doing? Do you have direct human/pdoc support?

It is really not a good idea going off all at once especially if you don't know how bad your withdrawal can be. I hope you are one of those who will have an easy withdrawal.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by Resident Bipolar

Three days off my Seroquel, Citalopram, Circadin and Lorazepam and well...I've had 4 hours of sleep on those three days. My mood is, well I'm not even sure if I'm happy or sad. I can't seem to decide! Though suicidal thoughts are definitely creeping up.

All I want, is to be able to sleep without tablets. Wake up without still feeling the lethargy these tablets cause.

I'm just wandering through life. I'm not living. I'm just existing. And I'm running out of time and patience.

I finally got utterly fed up with how dead exhausted and out of it I've been on my Seroquel dose (increased a couple of months ago) and just a couple of days ago lowered it by 50 mg. I feel soo much better (in some ways, anyway).

But you seem to be throwing out the baby with the bathwater (is that the expression?). Why come off of everything at the same time, why not at least titrate? I think also if you come off of everything at once, it will be hard to tell which of the medications was causing you distress... believe me, I understand how you're feeling on all that medication, but is there a middle ground you can take? Are you doing this with the help of your psychiatrist? I'm afraid you're setting yourself up for some serious withdrawals, amongst other things...

[shikantaza]

Hi Resident,

Congratulations being med free. I've been completely med free now for about 3 years. Be patient it will take a long, long time for your brain chemistry to return to a pre-pharma state (for some it takes years). I would suggest looking into Orthomolecular vitamin and amino acid supplementation (very, very helpful - I take a cocktail of 5-htp, gaba, theanine, melatonin and vitamins). Be extra zealous with your diet, avoid gluten, sugar and caffeine, get exercise and meditation. And if you have some sort of a Higher Power in your life, throw a few prayers out to the universe for help. You can do it. I happily nuts and completely psych med - psych doc free. However, I'm not anti doc, just a particular kind of "anti-doc", there is a whole new breed of psychiatrist emerging that believes in orthomolecular treatment for manic depressives. There's a bunch of us med free.

Best Regards! : )

[bluemountains]

Hi ResBP,
I always am impressed by your posts because you are so insightful considering that you are so young.(a good thing!) I know you have experienced a lot with your family, so I understand that you possess more wisdom than many.
Currently, you are not making wise choices. There are only a few of us on this site who can function without meds, although at times we all believe that we are able to do this. Please step back and think about what is best for your mental health. Your pdoc will help you adjust your meds if you are not comfortable now. Believe me, I am probably the age of your mom or older, and I still try the same thing, but my pdoc helps me to adjust if I am not comfortable with my current medication combinations.
Try to find what's best, and good luck!
Bluemountains

[BlueInanna]

Can you update us how you are doing RB? I'm worried. Did you decide to go med free, or run out of meds, or leave home and can't access meds? Thinking of you.

[Resident Bipolar]

I took my Seroquel last night, slept for 17 hours. Woke up feeling more stable, more calmed down but oddly...very depressed.

RB