These feelings aren't going away

I told my husband I need to be inpatient for a short while this morning.
He blew up, you aren't listening, he said, just get a therapist.

He knows I can't leave the house, I think about dying often, and I have very little energy.

How do I make him see, short of an overdose. He locked up the Ativan, but I have bottles and bottles of other Psych meds.

I feel alone , misunderstood and frustrated.

In 2011, I went to John Hopkins in Baltimore. I was thinking about calling them and getting on the waiting list. The doctor I had there, Dr. Karen Swartz, is head of the bipolar unit. She is great after Jason died she spent a long time talking to me on the phone. Something my PDOC here would never do. But going there costs about $ 2000 upfront.

like before i think go to the ER and sit and wait until they find you a bed, anywhere! I've had to wait 3 days in ER, then go to a psych hospital 3 hours away with both of my older kids. It's an emergency, just go get in somewhere and figure out payments later.

They will likely try to get you on a lower safer dose of Ativan but you know that will help you right? You're on an extreme addict type dose, it's well known to worsen depression. And ur in a deep bp depression. Leslie please get help and let husband worry about payment plans.

I agree with Blue on this one.

You have to go to the ER and tell them you can't go home. You need a bed somewhere. You need intensive intervention now, not later.