Seroquel makes me hate myself (more)

I spent my spring break voluntarily admitted to a psych hospital so I could get my meds fixed. And so with that my official diagnosis went from major depressive disorder to Mood disorder Not otherwise specified cannot rule out bipolar (boy, that's a mouthful). So they kept me on 50mg zoloft and titrated me up to 100mg seroquel.

And thank God they took me off of trazedone because I was having so many screwy interactions with the zoloft I want to know who thought it was a good idea in the first place.

I'm not sure what to think of my meds, been on current dosage for about 3 weeks. On the one hand I don't have so many depressed dips - or when I do, I don't end up bad enough to self harm or attempt suicide. But I've started watching what I've been eating pretty much obsessively and still started gaining weight (only about 7.5 pounds so my dad told me to not worry) and I'm hungry ALL the time. No exaggeration here. I mean even when I'm full, I'm still hungry. But I've taken to limiting what I allow myself to eat and feel really guilty whenever I eat anything. I haven't felt like that before, but I guess I've always hated how I look. I've taken up running and exercising at the gym until I can burn off all this hyper energy or attempt to lift my mood. But I get more depressed when I don't have the energy anymore to try to earn a snack. I tried to make myself throw up but that ended up being a lot more effort than just going out and running a mile so I've been sticking with the calorie counting and body fat percentage checking and running/other exercising until I fall over.

Last week I ran my first 5k and (because the trazedone/zoloft combo had killed my stamina so I couldn't train) finished at about 37 minutes via willpower alone. The next day I freaked out and panicked because I overreacted and thought my friend might be in danger. So I ran a mile to her apartment and was too busy worried about her and hating myself to care if it hurt. She was fine, thank goodness.

Now I've been just really hyper and hard to stay on one train of thought all day and my thoughts just won't slow down. I mean, I used to have days like this before I got put on seroquel but I feel like they've gotten worse and I've had more days where I just can't sit down and shut up? And how do I tell my therapist all of this when it's so hard for me to stay on one topic I always feel like I miss something and should have said something so she understands stuff better?

For me and and this is just my opinion, but I hate seroquel. It turned me into a zombie. All I did was obsessively watch TV and eat. I tried everything to not eat so much but I always ended up pigging out. I went through a pack of sugarless gum at night almost everyday, I would eat like 4 apples and would eventually just give in and eat pasta or any kind of carb or sugary food. I was on 200 mgs for sleep. Tried lowering but then I wouldn't sleep.

I will never go on seroquel again. But it works for some ppl. I hope I wasn't too discouraging. Try posting under the med section on here.

Good luck

Write all the stuff you want to cover with t and give it to them in the beginning of session.

Talk to your doctor about the seroquel. There are some weight neutral antipsychotics you can take. (Ability is one)

I really hope either this being hungry all the time thing just goes away. I ended eating so much I got really nauseous and couldn't deal with that and felt really guilty so I made myself throw up. And now I feel guilty about that because I recently promised a close friend I wouldn't do that.

I kinda just want to hide under my covers and pretend none of this happened...

It sounds like the last medication you should be on is one that increases you appetite like Seroquel can. I'd urge you to talk to your psychiatrist about this, especially since it doesn't seem to be helping much. I'd add, though, to please not go off of it on your own before at least talking to your psychiatrist on the phone (if you can't get in to see him/her soon enough). Everyone's different, but I went through hell titrating it down way too quickly...twice..very bad.

And someone had a great suggestion about writing this down to take in when you talk to your therapist. That way you won't forget. Let her know right off how important this is -maybe this way she/he will try to make sure you talk it through before changing subjects.

Good luck.

Hi Comicgeek,,,,,the best way to tell your T all of this is to print out exactly what you've written here and take that to her. Then she can ask you questions or you can fill her in on any more if you feel the need to explain anything. Sorry you're having a tough time with meds.

If these are the best meds for you, I'd say try to stick it out. I think seroquel is a hard one. I didn't handle it either, but I felt like a zombie like some others have expressed about this med. its a lot of trial error I guess - what works for one might not work for the next or visa vs. Wish you the best possible outcome.

It won't.

There are side effects that go away with time. Stomach upset, being too tired, etc. They won't always go away, but they very well might go away with time as the body gets adjusted to the new medication.

Being hungry all the time on Seroquel will not go away. Weight gain on Seroquel will continue, too, if you have already gained weight.

So you need to change to something else.

I didn't have the hungry all the time feeling from Seroquel but I did from Zyprexa. I would eat until I was physically sick and still feel hungry. I started having anxiety attacks over the medication. And I remember I didn't see my pdoc for a month and when I finally saw him he immediately said I was going off of it and that I should have called him sooner.

So I would contact your doctor and tell her that the side effects are unacceptable and you need to get off the medicine now.

I've taken Seroquel for almost a decade and gained a lot of weight but it was slow weight gain - I went from a size 12 to my current size 20. But I was basic stable, but now I'm going off of it because my current pdoc wants me on something weight neutral and is more willing to try different medications than my previous pdoc.

My therapist is under the impression that I just have a ton of mental issues, an eating disorder being one of them, and should stay on meds because the side effects are all in my head. Seeing my pdoc monday, though.

That is very wise of the Therapist.

Since

-- you wrote that "But I've started watching what I've been eating pretty much obsessively and still started gaining weight (only about 7.5 pounds) ",

-- and the therapist contends that all the side effects are all in your head,

I take it, it was your perception, which is in your head, that caused the scale to report a higher number of your pounds.

Right?..

There is no point in promising something that you do not always have much control of- an ED is a disorder and you not always have control over what you do.
Such promises only make you feel guilty when you break them.

Since you already have more than enough problems, you clearly do not need an EXTRA problem of feeling guilty. Wait until you run out of objective problems that are not created by you, and then, if you want, start creating problems by yourself.

But why should I stay on meds that make me more likely to flip out and binge? It is my perception that my medicine makes me feel like shyte and I have actually gained weight while on it, so shouldn't my perception matter?

I was making a joke about the perception. If your T does not realize that the scale reports the weight objectively (unless you have tinkered with the scale's mechanism), she has severe problems with her own thinking. I do not believe that she would be very helpful to you. Yes, your perception matters, but speaking of the perception is a NEXT step and we have not gone that far yet. We are still dealing with the objective 7.5 lb gain that the T treats as something subjective in your head. All of that points to problems in T's head - not your head.

I think you should try going off Seroquel because you do not seem to benefit from it.

Oh, I feel silly. I'm sorry. Sarcasm doesn't always translate well to text. Thanks. I will definitely tell my pdoc that I want off of the seroquel. And if this means I need a new T, I only have to deal with my current one until the end of this semester and then I'll qualify for student counseling center.

problem is, your therapist is not a medical doctor and although you may need a mood stabilizer or anti psychotic, there are better drugs than seroquel, especially if you do have an eating disorder or body dysmorphic condition. ( i do)

also,if you are taking that much seroquel, it should be working for the agitation and rapid thoughts. it sounds like it's only making you hungry and gain weight. i gained a ton of weight on that stuff and would NEVER take it again. it also blurred my vision even on a dose of 8 mgs.

whatever you do, make sure you get advise from your doc. first. never stop a medication abruptly. best of luck and just try to be really direct with your doc.

why is it that t's seem to always conflict with the pdocs? it is soooooo frustrating.

I think you might be confusing it with another drug - Seroquel's smallest dose is 25 mg so you could not have been taking 8 mgs (at least not in the US).

100 mg of Seroquel is not that high a dose, but since it is already doing the harm it is doing, a higher dose would be even worse.

You can split pills.

yep, i was taking a quarter of a 25 mg dose--wasn't easy but i split them

i am not saying 100 mg. is a lot, it's just that my observation is that there should be more of a positive effect from it.

I have no idea what I'm going to do if my pdoc just tries to raise the dose of seroquel like my T has implied he probably will. My dad okayed the idea of me switching therapists next semester, but I don't know how to tell him all the stuff that's been going on when I just got a call tonight that my mother has flipped her lid and is hiding one of my little sisters from my dad. The police have been called and the court has been notified and shes going to get arrested if she doesn't send my sister back by tomorrow afternoon.

Just when I only thought I had 99 problems....

i'm sorry you are having a hard time. perhaps it's best not to project what your doc will do. i suggest that you are just very direct and honest with your doc about the weight issues, and your purging, etc.

i hope things settle down with your family crises. that sounds really hard.

Its started to settle down. My mother finally gave up under threat of arrest and my sister's physically safe, although I still worry about her mental health. Shes at least as messed up as me. And she's only gonna get worse if she has to deal with our mother trying to control her much longer. Maybe one day she wont hate me and think I was the bad guy that hurt our mother. A girl can dream, right?

I'm also cautiously optimistic about what Monday holds. Not only is it my second apt ever with this pdoc, but it's also the day I get inducted into an honor fraternity. Maybe I'll be able to look at myself in the mirror and not think I look fat in my dress. Maybe.

It took my sister 14 years to see I wasn't the bad guy but she did finally realize.

You need to be completely honest with your Dr about weight gain not being allowed to be a side effect. Take your meds at a time you wont purge ie. before bed.

congrat's on your honor induction, that is quite an achievement. i wish you luck in getting your message across to the pdoc.

Be very clear when discussing Seroquel with your Pdoc. Weight gain is not an "ok" side effect to just deal with. Weight gain can and will cause numerous health problems that could probably need medications to control them!

There are weight neutral medications out there.

Congrats on the Honors !