[Lillyleaf]

Hello!

I always wondered what it was like to be the family or friend of someone who is bipolar. Being bipolar myself I can't judge or guess. In books they always make it seem like and emotional rollercoster. What do you guys think? How is someone to do to make the relationship easier on bother side?

Being bipolar how do you make relationships with people without making the other person ride the waves with you. Or at lest the giant ones.

What is it like to be a friend or family member.

Thoughts??

Thanks so much,

Lillyleaf

[manicdepressive07]

My boyfriend has no choice... he lives with me so unfortunately he has to deal with my waves of emotion. But I know he loves me and doesn't really mind it because he's usually the one that calms me down and gives me the support I need when I'm really feeling "out of it". I'm also on medication now and my mood and overall stability has greatly improved

[comicgeek007]

My mother is untreated bipolar. She gives all of us bad names.

[BipolaRNurse]

I think my mother was, too. She self-medicated with alcohol, cigarettes, prescription drugs, and food, but I still came home from school every day not knowing which mother would greet me. And then I went and passed that down to my own kids, having NO idea whatsoever that I was BP until they were all grown.....I'm so blessed that they've forgiven me, and I'm grateful that they remember all the fun we used to have during my manic episodes!

[Victoria'smom]

What do you guys think? How is someone to do to make the relationship easier on bother side?

I think there are things both parties can do to weather BP.

Both parties should be in therapy if possible. Even better if they can have couples therapy too.

No matter what mood you are in make the other person feel love. We do this through romance cards, other little things like breakfast in bed, drawing a bubble baths, or little notes. If one of us says “I love you.” but the other is really irritable they'll say “I know that I love you too.” If we realize the other is in a bad space it's “Remember I love you AND need you.”

No arguing when irrational. The person not in the middle of an episode has to let the other have a one-sided argument no matter what that person says.

Absolutely no decision making is “allowed” in the mist of an episode. If the person wants a divorce say “okay” but leave it at that. Do not sign papers.

Always apologizes for wrong doing and forgive! Take everything with a grain of salt because the person in mist episode doesn't mean their behavior or thoughts, no matter how much they insist they do.

There's more but I can't think of them right now.

[faerie_moon_x]

My mother-in-law also has bipolar. It can be a real rollercoaster with her, that's for sure. It's easier to realize it's a rollercoaster when you're on the other side.

You can tell when she's depressed because she won't even get up to walk to the couch to watch t.v. She just sits on the bed all day. You can tell when she's manic because you come home to a clean house. She's very classically bipolar in that way. Her cycles are much longer than mine, that's for sure.

With me, I'm sure it's not a regular rollercoaster but probably more like the crazy chipmunk kind. (Have you ever rode one of those, where it's just one car with a really long nose, so it looks like you're about to drive off before making extremly sharp turns?) Yup, you never know when I'm going to flip a switch and turn.

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

.. It's easier to realize it's a rollercoaster when you're on the other side...

That's for sure.
What with having BP, it's not quite "on the other side". Except when it is.
It's freaking hard. Just in a different way.
Living with me is no cakewalk either.

As for not making the other person ride the waves with me... I tend to clam up, so a lot does go by unnoticed. But on the bigger ones? Unavoidable. I can't really imagine being them, but it must be quite something. I don't know how they do it. Even experiencing "the other side" with someone else isn't a good measure, as everyone is different in the way things manifest and in how and what they express. I am "subjected" to certain behaviors that I don't subject others to. But I subject them to some which they do not to me.

(I'll stop this linguistic nightmare, and go to sleep now, 'k?)