Boiling just below the surface

I had a bad day.
Today I went to an orientation that was through the Goodwill program.
It was called Community College 101 were they show you how to enroll in school etc.
The facilitator or Teacher however wanted us the people that attended the orientation to pair up and get to know each other.
That was something I couldn't do. I wanted to just sit & listen take notes, maybe participate.
But I felt what she was making us do was too silly. I mean we are all grown ups not kids in high school.
Also, I have lived alone for the better part of 20 years the whole time I tried to get out there & make friends however anyone on here knows that the older you are the harder it is to make friends. It's real complicated to make friends. Whenever I tried to get someone to talk to me they would act like I was an annoying insect or could care less to even get to know me.
This has happened again & again going back to the 90's!
The majority of folks wouldn't even bother to learn my name.
Now I'm in this orientation and all I want is to go to school why push HER agenda on the rest of us.
I was very uncomfortable, and since I live in the Pacific Northwest? This place is not the most friendliest when it comes to meeting anyone. Believe me I know, I've tried and for the most part failed to make a connection.
After some years of this it has definitely taken its psychological toll.
Add to it the racial hate crime I experienced a few years ago and I'm just beaten down & somewhat angry.
I don't like it when someone is forcing me to socialize when that is not why I came to the orientation.
I got up & left.
I really don't like life today.
Not at all.

Sorry to hear of your struggles. Forced social interaction can be an extremely stressful thing for anyone, add your particular set of issues and it can be downright unbearable, as it sounds it was for you today.

Try not to get frustrated. You said you're trying to go back to school. Through my college career I was made to work in groups for some courses just as in highschool. It was mainly for large research style projects though. The rest was individual.

But don't fear, I'm sure you could make arrangements to work independently. Not sure if you know any good relaxation techniques, but it sounds like you could put them to good use when you're in situations like you were today.

Best wishes and good luck