[Kristiemarie]

Yes, I told my husband and mom but it was the first time today I've told anyone outside my little circle. Doctor asked me at my physical what meds I was taking and why.

Honestly, it was so much harder to day than I thought it would be. It should all be easier now, right? Answer to the question of what's wrong with me? But damn if it isn't harder!

I feel, I don't know, weird knowing that someone other than my pdoc has that written in my "permanent file". Lol

[bluemountains]

Hi Kristie,
I am sorry that the dx has been so tough for you to digest-I understand! Please remember though, you are not bipolar, you have bipolar, a dx that can be handled in a healthy way through therapy, a healthy lifestyle, and medication.
Please understand that telling your doctors is a good thing. They need to know how best to treat you.
I would advise that you always share with your medical people, but beyond that, you don't have to share with anyone. You are who you are, before and after the diagnosis.
Many hugs!
Bluemountains

Originally Posted by Kristiemarie

Yes, I told my husband and mom but it was the first time today I've told anyone outside my little circle. Doctor asked me at my physical what meds I was taking and why.

Honestly, it was so much harder to day than I thought it would be. It should all be easier now, right? Answer to the question of what's wrong with me? But damn if it isn't harder!

I feel, I don't know, weird knowing that someone other than my pdoc has that written in my "permanent file". Lol

I know the feeling. With me everyone always thought so. Family is really happy I'm finally admitting to it. After that last mixed episode.....I think I'm finally accepting it....finally.

You'll get there.

[Eliza Jane]

Originally Posted by Kristiemarie

Yes, I told my husband and mom but it was the first time today I've told anyone outside my little circle. Doctor asked me at my physical what meds I was taking and why.

Honestly, it was so much harder to day than I thought it would be. It should all be easier now, right? Answer to the question of what's wrong with me? But damn if it isn't harder!

I feel, I don't know, weird knowing that someone other than my pdoc has that written in my "permanent file". Lol

I can relate. It feels strange saying it at first. Sharing with medical providers is an interesting thing. For providers where the diagnosis seems less important (e.g., dentist, opthamologist) I usually say "mood disorder." That's 100% honest, just less specific. During pregnancy, I started to always say bipolar rather than just depression or mood because I felt that I would be judged less for staying on a little medication if i had something perceived to be more serious and biological (we know that's not true, but the perception exists).

Also, I notice you have both major depression and bipolar in your signature. They don't diagnose both at the same time. If you have been diagnosed with BP more recently, then it replaces the previous depression diagnosis because BP includes experiencing major depressive episodes. Just FYI.

Best,
EJ

[Reality_Perfection]

I also just told someone else that I have Bipolar Disorder. It was such a relief! I feel like I can take even more control of my illness after telling someone about it! Keep staying strong and you'll feel tons better (: Good luck to you!

[BlueInanna]

Glad you made it through telling the doc Kristiemarie, other docs need to know about meds you're on and all that.

I was at dentist recently and the hygenist asked me if my meds are still the same, I quickly said yes hoping to end it quickly. But then she named them all off, and I think I shushed her and looked around, lol. Then I'm wondering if a dentist really needs to know if I'm on psych meds... I guess maybe if they're going to put me to sleep for surgery or something. I think they do give me a specially trained hygeinist because I used to have bad anxiety attacks at the dentist, so maybe disclosing to them was a good thing, and they handle me with more care.

[BipolaRNurse]

I have to go to an endocrinologist soon, and even though I'm reasonably comfortable with my BP diagnosis now, I dread the idea of telling an unfamiliar doctor. It's OK with my normal providers, but I fear others may not take me seriously or think I'm a flake because I have bipolar.

[bunnifoo]

BipolaRNurse I just saw an endocrinologist last week. It was a good experience and when I was telling her my symptoms (my thyroid levels were kind of wonky the last two blood tests I had) she told me that the fatigue could be from the Seroquel (which I knew) but it was all very professional and everything.

There was a male med student there and I was a little bit more uncomfortable talking about my wonky menstrual cycle.

But I'm fairly open about my diagnosis. I mean I don't tell everyone I meet, but everyone in my extended family knows, all my doctors know, I don't have many real life friends but I have a circle of aquiantenaces and some of them know. Depends on the situation. I've even told former co workers and even a supervisor or two.

However, I've been very very lucky in that either no one has treated me differently or if they did it wasn't in a way I would notice.

If a doctor ever treated me differently or acted unprofessionally I'd call them out on it. They should know better, and if they don't or of they do and still act unprofessional then I wouldn't want them treating me.

You're very sensitive KristieMarie, and that's a characteristic of many bipolar patients. It goes with the territory, but you'll feel more and more at ease the longer you live with it. (It's also a sign of the giftedness of the illness.)

I mean, after all, you're one of the 7% of all bipolars in the world who get treatment and have the opportunity to live a content and productive life. The other 93% of bipolar patients never seek help at all--not that it's something to be proud of; it's just a fact, and many probably never even know that they have a chemical imbalance.

Often, there is real talent that attends bipolar illness, especially in the arts. After you feel stabilized, you might investigate to see if you have any special talents that seem to call to you to involve yourself in that field. It can be very rewarding.

You must remember that you have a mood disorder, not an intellectual disorder, and bipolar patients can be very intelligent, often in the field of their giftedness.

You obviously had a little bit of shame about your diagnosis. Discard that, please. There's nothing to be ashamed about, and most well-educated people have enough knowledge about the illness that they would be embarrassed for themselves if they ever harbored a bad feeling because you had an illness. I hope that any stigma
is rapidly going out of style as knowledge leads the general population to know more about the illness and its good response to proper medication to treat a chemical imbalance, or firing of the brain too rapidly in a certain area, or endocrine problems.

I see it as no more significant than wearing a pacemaker, hearing aids, artificial heart, or being allergic to pet dander or peanuts.

Don't you know that everyone has something that makes him/her special in life and that there's no such thing as really "normal"? (I prefer to call all others the "general population".)

So cheer up and wear your self-respect honorably and with attention to your deepest principles. You cannot go wrong living with that attitude, in my belief.

[BlueInanna]

I like that , "mood disorder not an intellectual disorder" ...

[liveforfish]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

I like that , "mood disorder not an intellectual disorder" ...

I like "chemical inbalance." Hey think of it this way, people with diabeties take insulin. People with heart problems take medicine. What's the diffrence between that and a chemical imbalance that causes us to take medicine.

[Kristiemarie]

Thanks everyone.

I had a lot of bad news this weekend so I'm all ****** right now.

Found out my Graves' Disease might be back. It's been in remission for the last 5 years and my thyroid test from Thursday was a little wonky. I see that a few others are visiting their endos....is it possible that the bipolar diagnosis I received is really my crazy thyroid? Of course, now that my mom knows I am heading back into my endo, she's thinking it's more likely my thyroid making me all "moody" and not the bipolar. I wonder too. I just don't remember being this off and on when I was first diagnosed with Graves. I remember being physically sick but not emotionally. This mood thing has been pretty recent, as in the last 5 years...really since after the birth of my first daughter. Hm.. anyway, I didn't even have anxiety until recently (in the last 5-10 years) but have had the depression for 20. I do know that the Lamictal HAS helped in terms of me being able to control my swings a little better. I still have them, but I'm able to hold back the tears or not scream when I'm frustrated with the kids. I have an appt with the pdoc this week but have to move to next week due but I'm going to tell him, of course, and keep him posted on my thyroid results. I'm just so bummed because, as stupid as it is, I do not want to take meds again and gain weight. It sucks. And wow, was that a paragraph filled with a bunch of thoughts. I feel like I'm rambling on right now.

On top of this, I found out yesterday that my dog has an ACL injury. Too much basketball in the backyard. LOL But really, he blew his knee out and now they want to do surgery to fix it. $2000 for it. I almost threw up when they told me.

Man, this is all so exhausting.

[bluemountains]

Hi Kristiemarie,
Many of us who have a bp diagnosis also have thryroid problems. On my mother's side of the family, my grandmother, mother, sister, and I all have take meds for hypothyroidism. All of us have/had some type of mental disorder as well. I'm not sure that thyroid problems can be mistaken for bp, at least not in my case, the two just happen to go hand-in-hand.
I can understand why you are in a bad mood-lots of stuff going on in your world! Taking care of dogs can be quite expensive-my two dogs cost me way more at a vet visit than a dr's visit for my children.
Bluemountains

[machina909]

I definitely understand what you mean, I got my diagnosis when i was 14 and i've been dealing with it for 6 years now. In that time I've told my best friend (whom I consider a brother), my roommate, and one girlfriend who came with me in the hospital the last time I was there.

I'm planning on telling my "parents" (I live with my best friend/aforementioned brother and his parents) and tonight I'm actually going to tell every person in my fraternity... saying it in a room with about sixty other people will definitely be the hardest thing i've ever done. Even when I talk to people that know I still don't ever actually say what "it" is.

I've found that every time you say it, the next time gets a little easier. It's a matter of being comfortable with yourself and being comfortable answering questions about it when people have them.

Best of luck to everyone!

[Cocosurviving]

I will admit I'm not ready to tell people outside my immediate family and friends. I have actually started thinking of a medical illness as my "cover".

[bunnifoo]

So I said it outloud to someone I don't know the other day. I went by the consignment shop in town to look and see if they had anything in my size. Also I went because I'm daydreaming going off the Seroquel will cause me to lose weight.

So I asked what she takes and said I was going off some medication and hoping to lose weight. She replied that she was on something (Can't remember what) that made her gain a bunch of weight so she knows what it's like. Am I taking the same thing?

And I said - "No I'm taking something for bipolar disorder. It caused me to gain over 60 lbs. I'm hoping as I go off I'll lose it."

Her reply, "My aunt takes lithium and it caused her to blow up like a ballon. I hope you can lose the weight."

And then we changed the subject.

And then it made me worry the Lithium is going to cause me to gain weight.

I haven't done anything like that before and I thought, well I'll just see what happpens.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by bunnifoo

So I said it outloud to someone I don't know the other day. I went by the consignment shop in town to look and see if they had anything in my size. Also I went because I'm daydreaming going off the Seroquel will cause me to lose weight.

So I asked what she takes and said I was going off some medication and hoping to lose weight. She replied that she was on something (Can't remember what) that made her gain a bunch of weight so she knows what it's like. Am I taking the same thing?

And I said - "No I'm taking something for bipolar disorder. It caused me to gain over 60 lbs. I'm hoping as I go off I'll lose it."

Her reply, "My aunt takes lithium and it caused her to blow up like a ballon. I hope you can lose the weight."

And then we changed the subject.

And then it made me worry the Lithium is going to cause me to gain weight.

I haven't done anything like that before and I thought, well I'll just see what happpens.

You did really good. It's good that your open abt BPD. I was in a similar situation and said I was taking meds for high blood pressure. I never say anything when people mention medical meds their on.

I'm glad you posted abt Lithium and weight gain. I take it and I've gained at least 30-40 pounds. I'll be sure to speak to my pdoc abt it.