emotionally reactive like a rocketship

Hey!

I have atypical bipolar it I am sick of it. I have been through mood swings for years and came out of hell 3 years ago. I react to triggers as if I was electrocuted!! I am just there for the ride. my mood has a mind of its own...

After being stable for 3 years, I have depression again. I had to drop out of school (yet again) and no I have no structure or purpose. I am anxious about my future, whether I will ever get married, hold down a job, etc.I know I am being hard on myself but not having direction makes my mood all the more worse.

I am a very strong, willing person but I don't know how long this episode can go on- I am loosing my strength to keep fighting. Does anyone have any words of advice? encouragement? DBT? similar experiences? ...I hope I am not alone. I feel so

Welcome to PC ,

Celebrate being stable for 3 years .. That is fabulous! You didn't mention if your were on any medications or if you see a Therapist ....

What are the daily things you do to help yourself ? Meditation? Sleep schedule? hobbies? any routines ? anything things that make you smile? Are you able to avoid the triggers that set you off ?

Again welcome to PC this is a great place to find great advice , support and wonderful people

Strength, first a hug and wishing you better days very soon.

I am curious why you have labeled your bi-polar as atypical?

I ask because mine is also atypical in that before diagnosis and medication, I would go hypomanic, then full blown mania, followed by a mixed state and then occasionally into traditional crushing depression. All of this thought to be rapid cycling but it may be too soon after dx to say on that.

During a mixed state of mania + depression simultaneously, I would describe myself as emotionally reactive like a rocketship as you did in your subject line here. But I have a feeling that perhaps you were describing your entire condition ? Not sure.

Another question about your post would be how did you get out of hell 3 years ago?

It's good that you have reached out to this forum about it. Hopefully you have a Pdoc or therapist that you've also contacted.

I hope you feel better really soon. This is tough to live with and you are not alone.

You're not alone.

Bipolar doesn't mean that you can't acheive your dreams and goals. It just means going after them differently. Knowing yourself is key, and since you know you react so much to triggers, that's a good start. Cycles will end. It's different for everyone.

Hi and welcome I like your choice of words!

So actually I have mostly depression, very very mild hypomania. But I think I may have mood liability more similar to borderlines in the way I react to triggers. In response to your question, how did I get out of it: I took a med that turned my life around. (p.s. I am feeling more optimistic today...)