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#1
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Ok, so I've been in a depressive streak for a while. When I'm like this I tend to have terrible social anxiety. I hide. I've been making an effort to overcome this at least once a week with friends I know well. This happens on Mondays.
Today my roommate decided she wanted to add two people I don't know to the mix. I wasn't going to tell my roommate she couldn't have guests, but I did say that I wasn't up to dealing with people so I'd be going to my room where I could be out of the way. Eventually I had to emerge briefly to use the restroom. I made my way from the bedroom, hugging the wall and generally trying to stay unobtrusive and out of sight. So what does my roommate do? She calls attention to me in the most flagrant way possible! I slipped away into the bathroom and tried to slink away again before I could have to actually, you know, socialize at all. She calls me back. "Come and meet these people before you go poof!" I was so freaked out I almost ran. I felt like a deer being stalked by a hyena. It was all I could do to stammer out a "Hello....nice to meet you..." before I turned and slipped away. A conflicting part of me wanted to pick up the dvd rack and throw it at my roommate, shouting "REALLY??! Can't you leave me the **** along when I've specifically ASKED you to?" I suppose instead of focusing on my roommate's behavior - which still has my blood boiling - I should focus on the small victories: I managed to say hello in a way I assume came off as understandable English and I didn't throw anything or make a scene... Small victory or no? |
![]() Darth Bane, ItsJustMe:)
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#2
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congrats!. yes- that is a small victory indeed!
but yes... i know exactly what you mean with the social thing- especially when i'm at home, and my brother's having someone to dinner or something they are eating in the next room and my door is closed so they don't come in here... but i'm thinking- i really need a drink, but the drinks are in the next room where the people are... i can't go out their yet and i'm all anxious and stuff- lots of thoughts in my head about what would happen if i went out their etc. sometimes i'll stop and listen at the door and if they are out of the way.. like using the restrooms or in the kitchen making tea, i'll sneak out for like half a second, grab 1 of the drinks and head back in to my room i'm lucky in the sense that i'm never usually caught |
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