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#1
May 16, 2013, 12:36 PM
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Got out of the hospital yesterday, after a 5 day stay, cause I went a bit psychotic. One of the stipulations was that I'm to go to a day program. They said it's going to be 3 days a week, but I am so worried about not being able to work. I really can't go on Mondays b/c that's payroll day, and I'm afraid they're going to want me to start on Monday. I already have an appt set up with the pnurse at my pdoc's office on Monday at 3:15, so I'm going to have to work through lunch to get the payroll done.
My husband says I shouldn't worry about work. If I lose my job, it would still be ok, but all my self worth is wrapped into working. I've always worked, until my episode in 2010. Then I didn't work for 2 years, and I was so depressed about it, even though I couldn't work. I was feeling better since I got a job last June, up until recently, where I've been under a lot of stress. I put the stress on myself, since there really is hardly any stress. I don't know how to fix that for myself, so I'm hoping I can get some insight to my excessive worrying and perfectionism, when I go to the program. They work a lot on self esteem and self worth, so I'm kinda looking forward to that. I just really don't know what to do, if they want me to start on Monday. I really don't want to lose my job again b/c of the bipolar. |
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#2
May 16, 2013, 01:21 PM
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Can you take a leave of absence? I know it's risky (I recently lost my job after returning from a LOA due to a bipolar episode) but it may be your only option at this point.
Your mental health is much more important than work, if you get right down to where the cheese binds. I know how you feel about work being a large part of your identity---that's what I struggle with the most now that I have no job---but again, if you don't have your mental health, you've got nothing.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
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#3
May 16, 2013, 01:53 PM
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It's a temp job, so if I take a leave of absence I lose my job, and any other jobs I might have gotten with this temp agency. This totally sucks. I'm not as bad as my last episode, so hopefully I can keep it together better this time, and not have to go back to the hospital.
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#4
May 16, 2013, 04:05 PM
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I have to go to IOP myself after an inpatient stay but I found an evening program. Maybe see if there is another program at night? Unless you're doing PHP (which after today is what I'd rather do lol)
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#5
May 17, 2013, 07:40 PM
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I went for my intake today, and I found out it's Monday-Wednesday-Friday from 9-12. I think I can handle that. It gives me all afternoon on Monday to do payroll. I was worried about that. I moved my appt with the pnurse to tuesday, so I would have all of Monday afternoon to be at work. It last 2 weeks and it's DBT based. I tried DBT before, and I lasted a whole 2 sessions, but I was really bad then, still psychotic. Hopefully this time will be better.
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 BipolaRNurse
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