Do I?

Hey everyone, haven;t been on in a while, i hope everyone is doing well Had a quick question, if you had a friend who couldn't tell you what was going on with them a few yrs ago , but could now, Not sure what they struggle with, maybe bipolar disorder( which im educating myself on) If they decide to tell me, Do I say I know to make the admission easier for them, or do i act like i dont know , just listen?? What is the correct thing to do??

I would just listen...if people told me they knew I was a little crazy I'd be like gee thanks!

Thank you I dont know if hes ready to tell me yet but in case i want to be ready , not say the wrong thing, Be suportive, I wouldnt say your crazy though, I dont think he is, But to someone that struggles with bipolar , is that something they believe , that there crazy? So if i say after they tell me , I know , will they think im saying i know there crazy? I dont believe Someone with Bipolar is crazy, Im worried about saying thewrong thing, I just want to be 100 percent supportive where he feelshe can confide anything in me and show my love and support....

you should just listen first and don't mention bipolar again unless he mentions it first... if he is bipolar, normally we are kind of angry and tired fighting our illness, so choose your words well... but it all depends on what kind of friend he is...

Rely on the feelings in your heart, in my view. You know your friend best and whether
or not information is being shared out of love or out of desperation. If out of love, put
your best foot forward; if out of desperation, put both best feet forward!

The person who wants to talk to you is seeking your help as a friend. Be a good friend; you won't regret it.

Bipolar people are not crazy; they may have episodes of depression and uncalled for elation, but
unless they're one specific type of bipolar, they don't usually go insane in their episodes. If he
mentions the word "crazy", help him understand that bipolar people remain stable most of the time and have episodes of mood disorders--their intelligence is not part of the illness; their shifts in moods are the illness. The illness is not a static one; it is a dynamic one and things change
for each patient, probably in a different way--sometimes very healing, sometimes, depressive
if facts in life are too stressful. Reducing stress is very important.

Just be calm and share what you know about the illness if he asks. If you sense that he
needs help, you might discuss the help that is available for bipolar illness, meds. psychotherapy,
psychiatric counseling, etc. Many, many things are out there to help people who have a
mood disorder.

and dont use word crazy in front of him...

I appreciate this so much, im soo confused, darth we are close friends, at one point a little more , He told me a few yrs ago, that something was going on with him, but he wished he could tell me but couldnt bring himself to do it, I had sent him a book with info i thought could help him, in it, it mentioned bipolar and other stuff and told him whatever he was struggling with i loved him and he always has my support, he was appreciative, and thanked me and hugged me but never mentioned what i wrote in book, i left it alone , never brought it up again, cause i didnt want to push him, Reason i ask now is in case he decides to tell me now, he told me before something was going on with him, so he knows i know there is more, so i thought if he tells me and hes struggling to get the words out, maybe if i say i know it could help him get the words out, but being silent is a better idea? I do not want to mess up, I know telling someone is one of the hardest things to do so i need to do this right , for him, i love my friend alot.....

What a sense of humor! LOL And yet, it's a very compassionate statement and one that needs to be considered by everyone when talking about bipolar illness and the heartbreak it can cause for some.

It just struck me as suddenly funny that he might be thought of as crazy.
The truth is he's probably exceptionally rational since he's seeking the
avenue of talking to a friend. That's good, I think.

he sounds like a "typical guy" .. and there is your answer... i haven't told any of my friends that i have bipolar... i haven't told my mom and sis because i don't want them to worry...
normally those who have bipolar, they are very bright,artists,intelligent... and we don't like the fact that our illness has stopped us from using our full potential... we were at the top of our game and suddenly because of bipolar we are few years behind, still we keep on trying but we definitely do not want any pity !!!

and as a guy if i cried in front of somebody, even if he/she is my friend i will still be ashamed to face them again... and i wont be able to stop crying when/if i told my mom/sis about bipolar.... so do not make him cry !!!

Thanks Bane! Really appreciate this, My prob is more i dont know if he knows whats wrong, he just said to me yrs ago, that there is something wrong with him, do you think he knows, hdes dropped some hints that make me think he knows, but cant tell.. I wont make him cry i swear. How did you know you were , in case hes not really sure what it is, was there something that stood out most?

If anyone could discuss their stories how they first told someone, i would love that, you guys rock on here

So most of my closest people already knew because they were involved at my intake into inpatient. My parents told all of my family because they weren't thinking about stigma so much as the fact that I was sick...they saw it as any other illness.

After a year beyond inpatient I had a party with four kinds of fruitcake at work...my coworkers are the ones who helped me get help. We happened to have some new interns so I had to explain why I had brought the fruitcake into work...oh and the rumors are true fruitcake is disgusting but worth it for the irony. I just casually told them the outline of my story you know this is my dx, I was sick a year ago people helped me and now I'm a year into recovery.

It's actually much harder telling people who matter though. My best friend I met after my initial dx and didn't tell her until after about 9 months. It was just an opportune moment in conversation and I mentioned that I sometimes heard voices and that I had a pdoc etc. I can't remember the specifics but she told me her mom was schizophrenic and her dad was bipolar and that made me trust her more although also to feel sorry for her(she got taken away from them by the state). Anyway she knew what I was talking about and how difficult it is to deal with and accepted me anyway. So I tend to keep things casual an have only had good responses from people who I care about. I imagine its much harder for people who have had poor reactions.

The first person I told was my youngest sister. She was shocked. I was shocked and still trying to process the info. I told my mom next, she didn't believe it. The next day she called back, she thought abt it and agreed w/ the dx.

I would just listen and be a good friend. When I was diagnosed bp an ex told me she suspected I was, and it really made me start second guessing myself.

Being a close friend of his for so many yrs, I knew he had depressive episodes , i just thought it was depression, i didnt know it was more till he said it was more than depression, but he couldnt say the rest. So just listening and never saying i suspect it is better idea? Thing is since i sent that book with info in it, i mentioned bipolar so he knows i know it could be that, but its never been brought up in talks, its like elephant in the room kinda where we both know what other may be thinking, but havent said ? How did you knowyou all were and how do we break our nervouseness to bring up stuff?