How Often Do Think About Having BP?

How often do you think abt the fact that you have BP (hourly, daily, monthly or not at all).

How do you feel abt having BP ?

Lately most of my day because I haven't felt quite like myself since before or after I was told I have BP1. I was almost hospitalized when i was diagnosed in acute mania. My poor Dr...i quipped with,"there's nothing cute about it". Came to a calm for a month, and feel all over the place again. I think I'd feel that way not knowing I have Bipolar or not, but I benefit more by knowing. Self education, meds, PC...

It also scares me because my son was Dx right before me & he was not med compliant (boy did that start a poop storm when I posted it). The Dr warned me if he is taking Adderall, and not a mood stabilizer he could go manic. He left, after stealing a bunch of our stuff, and I worry a lot about him. He just turned 18. Kinda hit with a double whammy. I try not to think about his path right now because I cannot control or help him. But I cry a lot some days, just about him. Seeing his dang hairbrush will put me in tears.

I'm glad I know, because other people in my immediate family were not proactive, all OD'ed due to self medicating through drugs or alcohol. I don't want to be there, or put my loved ones through more pain. I don't want my son to be there either.

So maybe I'll never be "normal" but I find normal boring anyway. I just want to be stable. My son too. Although this is supposed to be about me, it's hard separate at times.

Thanks for listening.

All my waking hours, Coco. No treatments work, marriage is wobbly, best friend died two weeks ago and though summer is coming on strong, the world looks as gray and bleak as winter.

Looking back on my post - not feeling so hot right now, tears one minute, not sleeping as well, depression...may not even be related to having BP at all. Some of it may just be a normal-ish grieving process & worry for my kid. Guilt. BP may exacerbate that to a degree, but yeah...

I think about having BP daily. I hope over time that lessens, but as it's relatively new & I am hungry for info & stability

notALICE, you're not alone. Also, expat Floridian formerly from NJ years ago.

I'm sorry, truly sorry to read about your friend. (And the rest).

Hey then you're from the other shore. I'm a NYer, but I'll like ya anyway

I did spend a little time in Jersey too.

Too much.

it comes daily. As fleeting thought.... but I wish I were more chill about it.

and how do I feel about it? Being it/having it? Eh, better than being born in Gaza Strip or Malawi or something.

i think about it all day every day, but probably because the episodes have just flared again. i'm hoping that as they become more under control i will stop overanalyzing everything!

as for how i feel about it....it sucks. sometimes when i'm not even depressed i want to kill myself just to get it over with. but i would never do that to my family. it would devastate them. so i have to focus on doing everything i can to make my life more manageable so it doesn't affect my son as he gets older.

perhaps when i'm done with IOP treatment i will be able to stop focusing as much on it.

good questions, by the way.

I also think abt it daily. 1). Because my non-situational mood swings cycle throughout the day. 2). I worry abt when the next episode will hit me.

I wonder if waiting and thinking about swings can increase the frequency of them?

Its a passing thought for me. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it because I have other stuff to think about/do. I found that overthinking made it worse for me and I used to constantly ruminate symptoms.

Hardly, and when I do, its mostly a fleeting thought. Even when it comes up in a convo, I'll talk about it, but its not really on my mind you know? The only time I actually pay attention to it is if I'm pondering a certain aspect of it, like my thread I posted, or if I'm actually in the throws of a hectic cycle or an actual episode... Paying it less attention has shrunken the beast, for me atleast.

How do I feel about it? Normally I simply don't. I've always been wired differently. Idk any different, and giving it a label didn't change things, this is just me.

How do I feel about it episodically? When I'm depressed I feel robbed and when I'm hypo, I feel blessed.

I think about it often right now because I have JUST accepted the diagnosis and want to learn as much as I can to help create an effective maintenance plan. So, I would say I think about it almost in an OCD way : ).

I feel a little broken about it, but know it is still just me. More than anything I fear the future so much of my thinking/feeling obsession is just because I am scared sh**less that it will get worse. I can't handle it, if it gets worse than my last episode (depression). The last one broke something in me that will never be repaired. I guess thats why i feel broken. damaged goods .

Episodically...no info for you yet on this...I am sure I will have data for you over the next several months.

I think about it a lot. I wish I didn't but I do. Especially when I take my meds.

Some days I only think about it when I take my meds those are better days but I'm still fairly newly diagnosed so that may be why.

I think about it daily and for most part of the day.

I feel so many things about having it; confused, hopeful, isolated, misunderstood, on the outside of things, connected here online, lost and grateful for treatment.

Several times a day, regardless of the mood/cycle I'm in.

Whenever I come onto this forum, which is usually every day, so once a day.

Outside of this place, I usually only think about it if a medication side effects is kicking my a ** more than usual. Maybe on average once a week or less.

In the aftermath of manias, when I'm trying to pick up the pieces -of what's left of myself at the time, more than anything.

At least twice a day, when I take my bipolar meds.

I'm still relatively new to the diagnosis, having received it only 15 months ago. It doesn't help that the dx keeps evolving as a clearer picture of what I'm really dealing with develops......I'm just now coming out the other side of a full-blown dysphoric mania (not hypomania) unlike anything I've ever experienced, which will likely change my dx to BP 1. I know I shouldn't get hung up on the label, but all of this has been very hard on my pride and now that it's cost me a job---and possibly a career---I'm beginning to realize how serious this illness really is. How can I not think about that?

Oh I can so relate. I've had people tell me "your
the same person" and "don't get caught up
in the label". "Just live your life". I guess BP
as been a pleasant experience for them. I'm
still new at this, hasn't quite been a yr since dx'd.
All I've done is lost crap to BP ....job, so-called friends,
stupid triggers preventing me from doing
things I use to do (attend football games),
I'm having to relocate to a different state,
and last but not least, side effects make me
think of BP a few times per day. My cognitive
functioning is poor, some days are worse than others.
I'm not the same, this dx has changed me,
it's breaking my spirit.

When I do think about it, it's in an effort to correct something in my diet that is causing
the fatigue or anger or depression. In one sense it's like reminding myself to take care
of myself.

Stress is the danger for me. I'm more alert to that than anything.

I accepted a long time ago that I had an illness called bipolar disorder, but it doesn't own me.

I wish I didn't think about it so much, but I kind of have to if I'm being honest. On the surface I like to appear relatively "normal" (whatever that means) and put together and tough and strong. On many days it's a series of constant self checks and coping mechanisms just to simply get through the day. The illness itself won't let me forget that I have it.

But... again if I'm being honest... I don't mind it. On most days. Except maybe when I'm in a depressive cycle and I would close to anything to take it away. But usually it's just what makes me who I am.

It would take far less time to tell you when I don't think of it. (When I'm sleeping and reading.....and sometimes shopping. ) It seriously consumes a large part of every day for a number of reasons. (That's another post.) There's almost nothing I wouldn't do to put an end to this but my options are limited. I wish I could get to the point where having BP seldom crosses my mind but it will never happen.

Being newly diagnosed and unmedicated for the BP part I think about it many times daily. Sometimes obsess about it. I worry I don't even yet know how to identify an "episode", what my triggers are or how on earth to handle them. I DO know one of my triggers is contact with my ex. I did it today. Not sure WHY I text first?! WTH? I KNOW it's a trigger. I think my mood swing cycles are very situational. I don't know much though. UGH!
wildflowerchild25 what is IOP treatment????

Obviously I think of it daily since I come to PC .. lol I am currently working on some issues in therapy that are a hell of a lot harder to me than my BP .. I am not saying my BP is a walk in the park, it isn't. But things could always be worse for me.

If I didn't have Bipolar I would have some other illness. I gave up being mad about having Bipolar long ago.

I love your avatar....So cute.