[lil_better_everyday]

Long story short- I'm a Veteran of the War in Iraq (24 months over three tours), with some a little PTSD ad a diagnosis of BPII. I was diagnosed with the BPII a couple years ago at the VA Clinic, but never took the meds and just continued to self medicate by drinking upwards of a fifth a day. Now it wasn't easy but I've managed to get myself sober, which means that now I have to deal with the underlying mental illness. I have no insurance, but make little enough money that I can get treated through the VA for free. Last month, I talked to a psychiatrist via skype (or something close) and he kept me on the 20 mg of citalopram my pdoc assigned me while I was waiting to talk to the psychiatrist and added 25mg of quetiapine before (and everything I've read says 25 mg has no therapeutic affect) bed. For the first week or two it helped me sleep and it felt like I was starting to get 'better'. Now a month later and I feel 'crazier' than I ever have ( ie slept for 18 hrs and 20 hrs over the weekend, then at work feeling almost manic for the first half of my shift, then locking myself in a bathroom for 15 minutes crying). Obviously I need to talk to my psychiatrist, right? So I called the VA to try and see him sooner than my next scheduled appt on the 10th of next month. But apparently he doesn't have enough time, so I can't see him till the 10th.

So my question is: what the heck to I do to avoid going off the deep end before the tenth of next month? And with the VA being the VA I can't shop around for docs, I'm stuck with this guy. I am just frustrated beyond words.

Thanks for reading this wall of text. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Apologies in advance for spelling and grammatical errors which are no doubt rampant in the above paragraph.

Anyway, thanks again,

-John

[faerie_moon_x]

That's a tough situation. I'm guessing you may need a med adjustment but how can you since your doc won't talk to you. Can you call back and say you feel it is an emergency and have anyone at all call you back? I really don't know much about the VA, so it's hard to give advice on it.

But, are you in any type of talk therapy? I'm not on any meds and I find talk therapy actually helps a lot. Really, meds are just one part of treatment. Therapy is another big part of it. Right now I have no insurancr at all, so PC is kind of my talk therapy for now. Sometimes ranting and getting it out and then getting some feedback is really helpful. If you don't have a therapist and can't get one maybe there are churches that offer support groups. Also, I don't know if you can get help from low income clinics or not. Or, see if your job offers an employee assistance program. Sometimes jobs offer those even if you don't have the insurance. I've used the one at my work several times.

One thing I do is keep a mood tracker. There are free ones all over the internet, but I like optimism online best because I can customize it. Keeping track of myself really helps me gauge where I'm at and if I'm sinking into trouble. Also make sure you're eating as healthy as possible, sleeping on a regular schedule, drinking water, and getting some exercise. Those are some good "home remedies" that help. Also, try to stay on a routine every day as much as possible.

Do you have any support people that you can tell them what to watch for if you start to lose your grip? Friends or family or anyone? Not everyone has this, I know. But if so, maybe put them on alert what's going on.

[manymiles]

I'm not sure how to hold on when you don't know how to hold on. I have taken it one moment at a time and exercised when I have the energy to. I know that may not be much help but really just wanted to say,Thank you for your service!

I think it's possible since you were using alcohol pretty heavily to self-medicate that you
were also drinking coffee when you stopped drinking. (I've been told that many people
addicted to alcohol will drink coffee when they stop alcohol use.) So if you will, please stop
the coffee right away until you see your psychiatrist on the 10th; use nothing that has caffeine in it, and drink water (purified if you can afford it) and leave tea alone,too, please,because some of it has caffeine in it. Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant, but it also causes a
huge let down when it wears off. And it is addictive. We need to get the things out of our
diets that tend to be addictive.

Temporarily, I would think that you might consider adding an aspirin (if you're not
allergic to them) to your schedule. (My psychiatrist recommended them for me, and
they were helpful.)

Watch what you eat, please. Make sure you have a fresh green salad once daily.
Add more green vegetables to your diet, and cut out sugar until you see your psychiatrist on the 10th, if you would. Sugar creates highs and lows and is very, very addictive.

These are all suggestions to help until you see your psychiatrist.

Thank you very much for serving the people of this country so nobly. There are many
in the United States who could not have done what you have been doing to preserve
freedom here. I am one of them who could never have been brave enough to serve
my country in that way, but I'd like to help you if I am able.

[ultramar]

First, welcome and congratulations on getting sober!

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time and can't get in to see your psychiatrist earlier.

25 mg of Quetiapine can actually be very sedating. It's possible this is why you're sleeping so much, or maybe it's depression. But I wouldn't tinker with your meds before you see your psychiatrist.

[A quick note on a previous suggestion re aspirin: it is also an anticoagulant, so if you have certain medical disorders you should not be taking it, I would consult your doctor first].

All I can say is to try to hang in there until your appointment and if it gets too bad you can consider calling a hotline or going to the ER.

I'd echo too someone else's suggestion to look for a therapist; therapy can be very helpful with bipolar disorder. I assume the VA would cover this?

Take care.

[lil_better_everyday]

Thanks for the suggestions guys!

There is quite a learning curve for this sort stuff, but I'll make. Luckily (in many respects, not so much in others) I'm living with my super supportive parents again. So they've stopped and told me when I start getting the rapid speech that defines the beginning of 'the highs', and are there to worry about me when I sleep for almost two days straight. I'm going to try and avoid caffeine till whenever I can see my psychiatrist, and try and be the squeaky wheel with the VA till that happens.

It's very frustrating being told "well I'm sorry you feel like that sir, but I still can't get you an earlier appt" to the doc who is 3 hrs away and I talk to through the TV anyway. Ah well, I'm learning a lot on these and other boards that if need be I can at least cope, without any major incident either way, until it happens. And I started keeping a 'mood diary' so I can tell him exactly how I was feeling when. And I'm looking for a new job, because currently I do almost nothing, so it just gives me 6-8 hrs inside my own head, which is NOT a safe place right now.

Anyway thanks for all the support! It's truly appreciated!