Behavioral Management

Today I had my evaluation at work. I improved in all areas, but my boss didn't want to give me the re-hire just yet. She wanted to wait a month and observe me closer before making her decision.

We had a long discussion on it, but her main concerns was that she needed someone more predictable and that I was a wild card with my mood swings and that she was never sure whether I would have a good day or bad day.

My summer will be more free to take bipolar classes at Kaiser, but I don't know how to improve my behavior. I spend so much time worrying about the big signs of an episode that I overlook the day to day mood swings. I honestly thought I've made a big improvement since January, and my boss agrees, but she still worries that I'm too unpredictable. I don't know how to fix that or even if it's fixable. I don't know what to do.

I really feel for you, Skipper. I have had that "we need you to be stable in your improvements" speach multiple times from my boss over the last five years. I really feel for you. I work in health care and they still don't understand. I have panic attacks at work every time I make an error because of it. I just know there are times when I do not function properly mentally, and as of now I have no idea how to fix it.

With me, it's not mood swings. My cognitive functioning just suddenly goes haywire. It can happen suddenly and last anywhere from a few minutes to days. I haven't figured out what triggers it.

Hang in there. Just tell yourself you've been doing a good job and you can continue to do a good job. Staying positive helps.

You have my sympathies, Skipper. I know how it feels to work so hard to be successful in your job, and then some #&!@% changes the rules in the middle of the game. We bipolar employees cannot comprehend this sort of thing and adapt to the 'hew normal' as easily as other people; we need time and patience, and many employers simply aren't willing to give us those things.

I hope you have better luck with your job than I did with my most recent one. Hang in there!

You'd think more people would be going through the same thing...

I can't even get a job.

There's an old (1986) book called Conduct Expected about how to act in the business world. I could never follow the rules, but it might help you to know what "they" want. I did actually have a copy back in the day.