[hamster-bamster]

- think of sex all the time
- everything seems super sensual to me - music, words, people
- behavior is within normal limits of good judgment - did end up in bed with a bipolar friend/former colleague; did not have condoms so did not proceed - had good judgment so a checkmark for that
- most thoughts are about a man who is not available and, unfortunately, I cannot make myself as excited about those who are available - alas!
- sleep normally
- exercise normally
- some sort of a strange aversion to food which is new - I eat very little; foods taste strange and I am not hungry; I practically subsist on drinking lots of milk with an occasional string cheese or a bit of PB
- attention to detail OK, able to do boring, repetitive work fine
- I even considered going back on Geodon, knowing that it would kill my wonderful imagination within days, but I do not want to! I want to find some way of living with this imagination but still functioning.
- masturbation as normal, without excesses
- a little nauseous almost all the time

So the biggest thing is that I cannot really think of much else!

[~Christina]

I would think maybe Hypo, considering you did not engage in sex due to lack of protection as you stated.

How long have you been thinking of sex all the time ?

[venusss]

Why not call it horny, enjoy it and don't DSM it?

the food and nausea thing could be as well physical... I'd wait it out (though I myself have bit disordered eating and go through phases where I am picky about food texture and not eating muchly...).

[Trippin2.0]

Nothing wrong with bouts of horniness, all my friends go through it, where they have these bouts of thinking of nothing else, and having more sex if possible, all of them are dx-less, and their husbands look forward to the bouts I'm sure its natural hormone fluctuations or plainly put; horniness, as you are not partaking in anything risky and your decision making skills seem quite fine to me.

[BlueInanna]

I think you're ok. But you have to figure out if you're just worried about it because of past manias or if this really feels like something coming on.

I'd wait it out a bit personally and consider length of time as Christina asked. Like if you go weeks and start seeking out risky partners, seedy locations, etc.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

seedy locations, etc.

I've always had a problem with this term and the like ... Seedy bars, seedy clubs, anything seedy and the visual I get is always some place covered in semen Why oh why oh why brain????? lol

[BlueInanna]

LOL ... yea. Not so sanitary... No not the ultra-violet lights I don't even want to know! LOL

Did you know they don't even wash hotel bedspreads regularly, or shampoo the carpets?? Those are probably most likely places for people to ... you know...

I'm also talking about public locations... that is risky and can land you a sex offender ticket. Even climbing a little fence to some club hot tub at night to skinny dip can get you arrested as a sex offender. Almost happened to someone I know.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

Why not call it horny, enjoy it and don't DSM it?

the food and nausea thing could be as well physical... I'd wait it out (though I myself have bit disordered eating and go through phases where I am picky about food texture and not eating muchly...).

Yes, that - the bold part. But I have never had it before. The textures have become weird to me. Say, fish is flaky. That is weird. I do not want that. But fish was flaky in the past, too, and I was OK with that. Something has happened. So for now, milk, milk, milk. No problems with milk's texture.

Horny, yes. OK, that. Without DSM-ing it, fine.

OK, G. is back from his trip and let us see what tonight brings. Maybe having a reality-based outlet will help.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I would think maybe Hypo, considering you did not engage in sex due to lack of protection as you stated.

How long have you been thinking of sex all the time ?

for several weeks

And, the most amazing thing is that I have started noticing female beauty in women whom I would normally not notice.

I still do not want to touch - I just appreciate and am in awe from looking. No desire to touch or do anything.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I've always had a problem with this term and the like ... Seedy bars, seedy clubs, anything seedy and the visual I get is always some place covered in semen Why oh why oh why brain????? lol

I was just thinking about SEMEN yesterday night.

Here is my story.

When I first landed in US more than 20 years ago, I was invited to a party. During the food prep time (it was grilling outside in hot Texas summer), people kept saying a word that I mapped in my mind to SEMEN.

I was quite shocked. These Texans openly talked about SEMEN in a completely non-chalant manner, all the time.

Later, I learned that they were talking about SALMON. I did not know how to pronounce SALMON or SEMEN and the way Texans pronounced SALMON seemed to me to mean SEMEN - the word that I had only seen in print and never known how to pronounce.

LUCKILY, the technological advancements have solved this and similar problems for me - free dictionary online has a button to sound out an unfamiliar word, both in standard US and standard British pronunciation. Except... they still do not sound out in Texan accent .

[venusss]

Yes, that - the bold part. But I have never had it before. The textures have become weird to me. Say, fish is flaky. That is weird. I do not want that. But fish was flaky in the past, too, and I was OK with that. Something has happened. So for now, milk, milk, milk. No problems with milk's texture.

for me it always passes and I get back to normal. Maybe it's hormonal or something. Never went on too long for me to investigate.

and omg at Salmon

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

I think you're ok. But you have to figure out if you're just worried about it because of past manias or if this really feels like something coming on.

I'd wait it out a bit personally and consider length of time as Christina asked. Like if you go weeks and start seeking out risky partners, seedy locations, etc.

I doubt that I would start seeking out risky partners. I actually did quite well with this guy Joe, with whom I did not have sex due to lack of protection, because he is very safe to me. He is a former colleague and we have been emailing back and forth for years, and he is clearly non-abusive, gentle, nice, etc. I am not super attracted to him - that is another thing. But I did well with him in terms of getting an (almost) partner who is not an asshole, so I want to give myself credit for making progress in that department. If I keep making progress like this, maybe by age 80 I will be with the right guy!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

for me it always passes and I get back to normal. Maybe it's hormonal or something. Never went on too long for me to investigate.

and omg at Salmon

Good. I will wait out this nausea and food texture pickiness.

Speaking of Salmon...

My American friend Kevin who was living in Moscow back then in the late 1980s-early 1990s after having obtained a degree in Russian from the University of Washington advised me that "Venus" was pronounced as "penis". Or, that "penis" was pronounced as "Venus" - I do not remember which way it went, but basically I knew how to pronounce only one of these two words and he advised me that they rhymed, and rhymed for a reason. That was what he suggested to me as a mnemonic device to remember how to pronounce these words.

And it worked - I do remember how to pronounce them.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

Why not call it horny, enjoy it and don't DSM it?

the food and nausea thing could be as well physical... I'd wait it out (though I myself have bit disordered eating and go through phases where I am picky about food texture and not eating muchly...).

I agree, I don't see anything pathological in this, especially considering lack of other symptoms. I say enjoy it (as much as you can)!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by ultramar

I agree, I don't see anything pathological in this, especially considering lack of other symptoms. I say enjoy it (as much as you can)!

I agree. I think I am reasonably OK. Really, the stuff I do at work - endless ticket queues+bug queues+email folders to clean out daily, all so boring and detail oriented, but I do that fine. I do not think that a truly manic person can do this detailed, mundane, attention-requiring work fine. I am not jumping my male colleagues, either.

[BlueInanna]

Too funny about the salmon rofl... . I'm guessing you said no thank you to that BBQ lol.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Too funny about the salmon rofl... . I'm guessing you said no thank you to that BBQ lol.

Right, but only out of my general preference to enjoy that stuff as a raw food .

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

LOL ... yea. Not so sanitary... No not the ultra-violet lights I don't even want to know! LOL

Did you know they don't even wash hotel bedspreads regularly, or shampoo the carpets?? Those are probably most likely places for people to ... you know...

I'm also talking about public locations... that is risky and can land you a sex offender ticket. Even climbing a little fence to some club hot tub at night to skinny dip can get you arrested as a sex offender. Almost happened to someone I know.

Oh great, Blue! My husband and I have a hotel night scheduled tomorrow without kids. We have been getting trashy all week with our plans. Now I have to watch out for the bedspreads and the floor!

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

Oh great, Blue! My husband and I have a hotel night scheduled tomorrow without kids. We have been getting trashy all week with our plans. Now I have to watch out for the bedspreads and the floor!

Lol! Cover them with Saran Wrap? Hmmm kinkay...
Have a wonderful time, so happy you have a getaway plan so romantic!

[hamster-bamster]

I am switching the thread in a sadder, non-sexual direction.

I actually lived in a motels for three months in the process of separating from - you know from whom.

And no, I did not think of motels as places where you would do those things.

Not at all.

I was at some point so suicidal that I looked up the lethal dose of Lithium online, counted my pills and realized that I had a 50/50 chance of survival from taking them all, and decided that it was not enough certainty for me. I then cried myself to sleep. That was after realizing, for the first time, that the father of my daughters may actually make me never see them.

So... I did get a skin infection. It was really bad. It needed treatment, in the form of covering my whole body head to toe with a prescription cream and having all my clothes (I only had a couple of items of clothing) washed on High temp.

I did research and it turned out that such skin infections are very common - notoriously common - from staying at motels. I do not remember the name of the skin infection.

The motel manager did move me into another room after vehemently denying that my skin infection had anything to do with his substandard hygiene practices and trying to convince me that I had eczema or other skin ailments, and only after I bluntly told him that I had had absolutely flawless skin before residing on the lovely premises he managed, he agreed to move me.

Well, it was the cheapest motel around. Maybe hotels, being a few notches up motels, provide a safer environment.

With that said, I hope you have fun, Bluemountains, and emerge from the experience without any trouble that would necessitate getting prescription creams!

I am spending the long weekend in Chicago seeing my gf from when we were... four years old. Have not seen her in many years. Very excited! And, it would be my first time in Chicago.

Bye, Blue&Blue!

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I am switching the thread in a sadder, non-sexual direction.

I actually lived in a motels for three months in the process of separating from - you know from whom.

And no, I did not think of motels as places where you would do those things.

Not at all.

I was at some point so suicidal that I looked up the lethal dose of Lithium online, counted my pills and realized that I had a 50/50 chance of survival from taking them all, and decided that it was not enough certainty for me. I then cried myself to sleep. That was after realizing, for the first time, that the father of my daughters may actually make me never see them.

So... I did get a skin infection. It was really bad. It needed treatment, in the form of covering my whole body head to toe with a prescription cream and having all my clothes (I only had a couple of items of clothing) washed on High temp.

I did research and it turned out that such skin infections are very common - notoriously common - from staying at motels. I do not remember the name of the skin infection.

The motel manager did move me into another room after vehemently denying that my skin infection had anything to do with his substandard hygiene practices and trying to convince me that I had eczema or other skin ailments, and only after I bluntly told him that I had had absolutely flawless skin before residing on the lovely premises he managed, he agreed to move me.

Well, it was the cheapest motel around. Maybe hotels, being a few notches up motels, provide a safer environment.

With that said, I hope you have fun, Bluemountains, and emerge from the experience without any trouble that would necessitate getting prescription creams!

I am spending the long weekend in Chicago seeing my gf from when we were... four years old. Have not seen her in many years. Very excited! And, it would be my first time in Chicago.

Bye, Blue&Blue!

Hi Hammie,
I remember when you were looking for places to move way back. You've come a long way since then. Trips, time with your children, etc. I am so happy for you!

As for our hotel trip tomorrow, I am sure all will fine. In my younger days I took far greater risks with locations.:, ah, the memories!

Have fun in Chicago. I've never been there, either.

Bluemountains

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

Hi Hammie,
I remember when you were looking for places to move way back. You've come a long way since then. Trips, time with your children, etc. I am so happy for you!

As for our hotel trip tomorrow, I am sure all will fine. In my younger days I took far greater risks with locations.:, ah, the memories!

Have fun in Chicago. I've never been there, either.

Bluemountains

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Yes, I realize that myself - I have come a long way. Thank you thank you thank you!

[purpledaisy]

Back to the sexuality discussion...

As long as you're not putting yourself in danger, why not enjoy the horny phase?

I haven't had a single blessed sexual thought or feeling since 1997.

From someone who has not had sex in many years, go for it.

[BlueInanna]

Hammie - you have made it such a long way, maybe the purpose of life, trials and tribulations that made us stronger, more compassionate, make us who we are. I'm so sorry you went through that time. I used to stay in a lot of motels when I was younger and homeless with my loser ex husband. He'd steal or do something bad and we'd lose all our friends in one town and have to move to another.
Very glad you are going to Chi-Town - sounds fun! Have a great time

Bue - don't worry, they usually wash the sheets well- have a blast!

Purple - Wishing you some love and affection my friend, everyone needs touch sometimes I think.

[hamster-bamster]

I am back. the trip was awesome, despite the fact that I had a 36 hour long migraine.

But it was awesome and I even got a burst of creativity out of it.