[Tlt1978]

My husband of 15 years was diagnosed as Bipolar around 13 years ago. He took medicine for around nine months but didn't like the way it made him feel, so he stopped taking it. He doesn't do drugs ( won't even take an aspirin unless he's dying) and may have a beer every 2 to 3 weeks, but never more than 2. Lately he has been increasing irratible and irrational. Over the years I have learned to deal with his manic and depressive states. If he is in a depressive state, I have to just let him have his way and discuss the problem as he enters his manic phase. I have even started keeping a journal of thing to talk to him about on his "upswing". Lately though, his depressive phases are getting more volatile, he blames me for things that we don't have control over (ie, work stress, gas prices and unforeseen expenses) and in his manic phases he has increased his spending (bought a new truck without even talking to me about it) and usually doesn't sleep. I love my husband, but am losing the ability to deal with him. He is jealous of my friends and family, to the point that I have stopped seeing most of them and gives me the cold shoulder frequently when I do something he doesn't approve of ( having dinner with my best friend of 20 years). I have begged him to go to Dr or talk to a therapist but he has made it clear that he is not sick and I only want him to be "medicated". We have a teenage daughter and she is also showing signs of Bipolar. Any advice would be welcome (going on medication is NOT an option, so if that's your advice, don't bother commenting). I am at my wits end. Even if I leave him, my daughter is going through the same thing. I feel like crying all the time! there has to be
something I can try!!!!

[EBD8]

If your trying to get him to a Dr. the best time is during the depressive phase. That's when I feel most compliant. From your post it sounds as if time is running out at a faster rate. Is there anyone you know of, a friend, co-worker, someone at church, or a family member whom he trusts. It may seem hard to believe but bipolar persons are very sensitive to criticism Poor decision making is also a hallmark of being bipolar. Your always going to be the bad one, no matter what you do. There are so many things to consider and you need to think about yourself as well. I hope you do consider your daughter as well. I'm bipolar and 54 y/o and I have a lot of regrets. NIMH · Home go here and call, it's a start. National institute of mental health. There may be a local chapter in your hometown.

[hannabee]

How about some vitamins Sam-e or St. Johns Wort something that you could say isn't medicine...might help......has helped me. Good luck

[manymiles]

I think it could be of use to you to see a therapist if you are not already doing that.

My belief is that we can support folks and be there for them but ultimately it's up to them to reach a point to help themselves in the ways they see best. Therapy could help you learn to also deal with the impact your daughters potential illness and your husbands has on you, what you can/can not do about it. Also it may be a resource to help you to help your husband in addition to the ideas given here.

[MusicMike]

Originally Posted by hannabee

How about some vitamins Sam-e or St. Johns Wort something that you could say isn't medicine...might help......has helped me. Good luck

Fish oil is supposed to help bipolar. I'd be careful with antidepressants, though.

Mike

[moremi]

I too am one that is not good with sticking to a medication routine. I hate being on mood stabilizers and anti-psychotic medication. I feel it makes me depressed and empty. I will only take them when I am going into a manic phase. I go off all medications all the time because I feel they don't help me. This last time though I realized that the antidepressant I was taking was helping and when I went off of it all hell broke loose. So I went back on it a couple weeks later and I just stay on a antidepressant. I can relate to him when he says he doesn't want to be medicated. That feeling that the mood stabilizers and anti psychotic meds give you is a terrible feeling of emptiness with no emotions and I cant take it either. Fortunately my husband researched my mental illness and is trying to understand. He can see how the drugs they want me to take drain the life out of me, so we agree I will only be on them if I come into another manic episode.