[winkynjr]

I am so tired if this up and down rollercoaster!! Everytime I think I am on my way out of this black hole, I take another nose dive. Thank God for friends who I have made on here and ones I keep in touch with through facebook who call me on my **** and keep in touch with me during the day, and night!!! it seems like they always know when I need them because out of no where I receive a text and then I end up bugging them all day!!! I am so tired of disassociating and feeling like my mind is a million miles away, driving down the road and not really knowing how I got somewhere, or driving down the road and picturing myself driving off the road into a lake!!! Between money problems and physical problems I just cant get a break!! I think I found a T that actually takes my insurance but cannot see them until the 20th and then a pdoc 3-4 weeks after that....My friend I was texting all day today has talked me into making an appointment with my regular Dr sooner and hopefully get started on meds again. (like I told her, I may get a script but then I have to take them which is the hard thing for some reason) Plus I have a habit of making an appointment and feeling like this but yet I go see T, or Dr whomever and wear a mask!!! I don't know!!! something has got to give and quick!!!! I am so sorry for bugging everyone on here over and over again!!!! I just feel so dam needy!!!

[vjdragonfly]

winkynjr

It is rough getting through. Out of experience, they are only there to help, not judge so try coming out from behind the mask. Your best therapy comes from your honesty, only then can learn to overcome. The rollercoaster never seems to end, but it can. We just have to stay strong (and I know all to well how hard that it is) and have faith life can be better. It is just an ongoing adjustment we all have to try and flow to. Best of luck to you and I know you can pull through .