Motivation: a cause or a symptom?

I'm in kind of a retrospective and introspective type of mood. So I first must apologize if I am making little sense.

Today, while talking to a friend something kind of sparked in my brain. One of those moments where you cock your head sideways like a dog that's heard a funny noise.

I realized that there have been times in my life when I've been exceptionally motivated. Call it hypo... call it driven... call it whatever, but I would spend more time focusing on working out, sewing, writing, painting, whatever it was and I would jump head first into each of these activities.

But the interest to partake in these activities, whatever they may be, always kind of has a slow ramp up. They build up over the course of several months until the speed and veracity (is that a word?) at which I'm doing these things just gets to be way too much. I'm staying up far too late, I'm working out FAR too much and eating FAR too little in order to reach that magic number on the scale. Until I inevitably crash face first, surrounded by incomplete projects or failed business ventures.

So it got me thinking (a dangerous pastime... I know), or should I say, the "slow ramp up" at which each of these things hits got me thinking. Do I bring these onto myself? It's not an inherent "I was going to be manic anyway" kind of deal. I caused it myself and I could have just as easily stopped it.

Likewise, would I have wanted to stop it even if I could have?

Hm... just makes me think.

I don't know for sure. I know my therapist asks me sometimes if I am having manic thoughts or behaviors. I would think if you notice the ramping up occurring, then you could mention it to your therapist or psychiatrist to see what he/she says about the possibility of being able to control it before it gets out of hand....I think once it gets to a certain point we are not going to be able to pull out of it. I know I don't like being manic myself, so I would like to stop such behaviors before I go that far.

I notice the ramping up coming and usually get nervous, because I know it's going to be followed by me landing flat on my face. I think I tend to take "corrective" action to soon, and don't allow myself to benefit from these ramped up stages.