I need advice- anyone a dog owner??

So last winter, I had to leave school early AGAIN because I was having issues with my medication, was misdiagnosed as clinically depressed (now bipolar 2) and couldn't cope with anything. The meds I were on turned me into a vegetable.

Anyway, I came home and had a manic, super implusive desire to have my own dog because I thought it would make me happier (this is after having an abortion and not coping well at all because it was really traumatic for me, among other issues I was having). I got this dog and she's a doll; just very hyper sometimes and can be overbearing. I got her because she reminded me of my boyfriends dog that I grew to love as my own (unhealthy, yes, probably). I love my dog sooo much but I'm still in recovery and there are days when I cannot deal with having her. And when I see her face sometimes when I'm having a low episode, it eats me up because I'm afraid she's miserable. She's a bit high strung and I just sometimes can't deal with it but I know I have to live with the decision I made to have her. I couldn't live with the guilt of giving her away to a better home either. I am doing better and the thoughts of giving her away have gone away but I can't help but imagine how much easier it'd be if I hadn't gone and brought her home (which caused major family drama, etc Aso I'm afraid these thoughts will keep coming. I don't know how to deal with this.

Don't judge me, i know that was a lot. I just need reassurance that it's fairly normal to feel this way. It comes in waves when I'm overwhelmed with everything and can't cope and I still have to care for her. She deserves better. I suppose the possible grief of giving her away would outweigh the way I feel about having her sometimes.