[Debi54]

I haven't been on in a while, but I have had many things happen in the past few months that I've barely had time to take a breath. I've lost my car, I'm about to lose my house after this month, and my daughter has moved away to another state (that part is good). Everything that is happening to me, however, is child's play compared to the blow I've just received in the past few weeks. The man I've been in love with for years now has been diagnosed with metasticized lung cancer. It seemed like it just started with pain in his arm, he fell and his arm never got better, so I made him go to the doctor, and they found something on the X-ray they did an MRI. It turned out to be bone cancer, which they said came from somewhere else. So they did another scan, and found it's in his lung. I'm scared to death after everything I've been reading, and the doctors keep sending him for more tests, they don't tell us much of anything. Now he has to have a biopsy, so the doctor lady can determine the course of treatment. From everything I'm reading, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of treatment options for someone with cancer this far gone. I watch him struggle with the pain every day, and he grows tired very easily, and I can't imagine watching him waste away and die. It scares me to death. I've totally forgotten about my problems, except for the fact I got drug tested at my last p-doc visit, and am being told by people that I won't be able to be prescribed my anti-anxiety medication because I smoke Marijuana. I hope that's not the case, because how am I going to get thru this and remain strong for him if I don't have my meds? He doesn't need me to act all weepy and crap, I try to be as normal as possible, altho it's hard. How do you cope with something like this?

I'm so sorry to hear that Debi. To be honest, I don't know how to cope, but you did the best first step by reaching out. I'm sure some here has been through similar circumstances. All I know is that we are here.

[winter4me]

I am so sorry.
Ask the doctor's office/hospital, or call local VNA to look for support groups for family of cancer patients. (also check out the forums here)
Once the biopsy results are in, the doctor should have a meeting with bf (&you) to review the results and discuss options. Ask all the questions you have/want. Always ask questions and encourage him to.
How is he taking this news? You are in such a difficult place right now, take it as slow, in the moment, as you can. Let us know how it goes.

[Yoda]

I am sorry this is happening.

[tc2012]

I am very sorry about your bf. Of course he needs you more than ever now. Could you just stop smoking pot so that you can be sure of getting your anxiety meds? My son has BP and he does that too. He says for anxiety, but he also needs anxiety meds. So, I don't think pot helps, it just makes things worse. Your anxiety meds will help you be strong and help your BF. I hope he gets treatment and gets better. I also hope that you can stay very strong. Good Luck! God Bless You!!

[Trippin2.0]

Idk what to say Debi, so sorry this is all happening Keep posting here support is crucial Will keep you and bf in my thoughts and prayers

[Pierro]

Im so sorry Debi. It's very hard to see a person that you love hit by cancer. I know what you are feeling, my mum died 12 years ago of cancer. Is it just pain management at his stage. Where there is life theres hope. You get strength from somewhere especially when you love somebody its not a chore to look after them but an honour. Best wishes to you and your boyfriend.

[Debi54]

Originally Posted by tc2012

I am very sorry about your bf. Of course he needs you more than ever now. Could you just stop smoking pot so that you can be sure of getting your anxiety meds? My son has BP and he does that too. He says for anxiety, but he also needs anxiety meds. So, I don't think pot helps, it just makes things worse. Your anxiety meds will help you be strong and help your BF. I hope he gets treatment and gets better. I also hope that you can stay very strong. Good Luck! God Bless You!!

I could stop whenever I want to, it's not a big deal to me, really, even tho I have smoked most of my life. He smokes it for pain right now and to help him stay calm, and likes to share with me. I'm not sure yet what my p-doc is going to do, this was a completely random thing he just started with this visit, but I would sooner have my meds right now. I have to be able to remain calm and not all upset. It does help, but not as much as the meds. I just wish we would get to the treatment part! I can't stand to see him in such pain.

[Debi54]

Thank you all for your support. I will keep updating as I know something (if I ever know anything). It seems like they just keep sending him for this test and that test and never really tell us anything. He is in so much pain from the cancer in his bone in his arm, but then the mass in his lung makes it worse, and the last doctor tells us after the biopsy she will know which one to treat. I don't understand that, either. The whole thing is like a horror show, except it's real.

[tc2012]

Originally Posted by Debi54

Thank you all for your support. I will keep updating as I know something (if I ever know anything). It seems like they just keep sending him for this test and that test and never really tell us anything. He is in so much pain from the cancer in his bone in his arm, but then the mass in his lung makes it worse, and the last doctor tells us after the biopsy she will know which one to treat. I don't understand that, either. The whole thing is like a horror show, except it's real.

I understand how scared you must feel. It just seems like at this point they would be able to manage his pain. I hope that you get answers and treatment soon. Good luck to you and him.