[Trippin2.0]

Woke at 7am irritated, annoyed, and aggitated this morning. Had Breakfast and went back to sleep, hoping it would pass.

Woke up 1pm again after a horrendous dream where once again I had no voice and couldn't scream for help... Too scared to leave my room becoz I would so bite off someone's head. By this time I'm close to tears, and like WTF???? how can you be so annoyed its overwhelming??? I tried to come here, but couldn't really pay attention or seem empathetic, so I logged out and went back to sleep before I start spitting venom at unsuspecting bystanders, online or irl.

Woke up at 5pm again and ontop of being super annoyed I got angry at the fact that I have to bath and do my hair because I didn't want to and it was really really cold in this fkn house!

Been awake ever since and its just getting worse! my hands are shaking I'm crying and I want to THROW things or burn down the fkn house! idk!!!!!!!!! I want SOME form of release but have none and it feels like its making it worse! ... thats why I decided to post.

So I attempted bathing, the water hadn't heated up properly, I had a (mini *****fit) and left the tub full of water and bubbles and put off the light in my room!

I'm not a nice person, I have done nothing but be mean today, I haven't done ANY mommy things for Jordan, I haven't eaten since 1pm, I hide and hide like a dangerous animal that should be caged

Its 19:15 now... 12 hrs of timeout and I have only gotten worse...

Ugh just venting.

[pegasus]

Sending hugs (((((( Trippin )))))) Please don't be so hard on yourself.

[Trippin2.0]

Thanks pegs, I'll try

[~Christina]

Trippin Just breathe and allow yourself to have a lousy pissy day. Do you think it could be partially the fact its cold there and it's thrown your body for a bit of a loop?
We are heading for a blistering heat fest ... That always has me flying off the handle, I don't handle weather changes well

Be kind to you

[vjdragonfly]

Try to be kind to yourself. At least you are doing what you can to keep from lashing out at others. I really hope it passes soon.

[BlackPup]

can you do something to vent your anger like punch a punching bag (or pillow) or go for a run? Hope it passes really soon.

[Trippin2.0]

Thanks ladies Slept and slept, its 5am, now ready to leave for work, and decidedly less irritable...

Idk what it is, I doubt its the weather, I was aggro even while warm and it was colder last weekend and I had zero irritability,. I just seem to have ****** weekends one way or the other, noticed the pattern a month or so ago, been happening all year almost like clockwork...

This day must just fly by without me, I'm in no mood to be remotely engaged in anything with anyone...

[BlackPup]

Sometimes sleep is the best medicine. Glad you are feeling a bit better and hope you get through the day ok.

[faerie_moon_x]

I hate it when the irritability gets so big. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. Fly below the radar if you can. It will all get better soon.

[Trippin2.0]

Today was better thanks. Its the weekends that seem to crap on me everytime. Ugh... Well atleast I have some sort of a mood cycle figured out. Fridays - Sundays 〓 Shytty moods, in whichever way, shape or form they decide to manifest.

Thanks for all the love and support, I'd be lost without you guys

[faerie_moon_x]

Do you think it's maybe because your routine is different on the weekend? I don't like it when my routine gets messed up. I think that's why I had such a good day yesterday. It was basically just me and the boys hanging out with no one bothering us or asking me to run here or there or anything. My weekend routine runs best if I can just relax.

[Trippin2.0]

But I only relax... Maybe thats the problem. Maybe my brain is allergic to relaxation

[faerie_moon_x]

Then maybe you need to be active. A weekend schedule. Maybe having a set schedule of chores, errands, and activities is what would help you the most. I feel like I'm always on the go, which is why I like to relax. See, we're oposite.

[Trippin2.0]

I started my relaxation exercise becoz of my tendency to not sleep weekdays, I hear my sleep counts as a nap to some So I would naturally be exhausted weekends from being up and about 20hrs a day, Monday - Friday.

Guess my body's over it? Will try a weekend schedule and see if I cease to crash Thanks!

[intergalactictraveler]

Trippin,

No use trying to figure where these dark moods or manias come from. I've tried for years and all I get for my efforts in either more po'd or more manic. Maybe it's the solar storms that have been erupting every few weeks or a pulsar passing near the Earth or just our endocrine systems crashing. All we can do is roll with it. Psychiatrists are more like ancient wizards than modern doctors. They cast spells, give us concoctions cooked up in boiling cauldrons, try to cast off the evil spirits. For all it's worth, a medicine man or woman or shaman might be just as effective.

[Trippin2.0]

Thats exactly why I lock myself up and listen to angry music instead! Much safer than concoctions! Just couldn't use earphones yesterday (irritability made me super sensitive) and no metal in my mom's house on a Sunday!!! lol

Yeah, I'm pretty much a surfer now, I try to roll with the tides, but I do get thrown off my board every so often. Whaaaa? its not like I've had any lessons!

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

But I only relax... Maybe thats the problem. Maybe my brain is allergic to relaxation

I understand this part, Trippin. When I have too much time to "relax" my mind starts scrambling, especially when I go to bed. It takes a while for the drugs to kick in. It sounds like you like your weekday routine.
Bluemountains

[Trippin2.0]

I don't like getting out of bed at 4:30am, but I do like routine yes But I also savour the time when I can just indulge in being a humanbeing and don't need to be a humandoing.

Maybe an exercise in moderation is called for?

I will schedule some tasks and chores for the coming weekend mornings and also have a scheduled rest time... Hopefully this will help my weekends to not suck so much!

Thanks for the input and ideas you lovely people

[BlackPup]

Hope next weekend is an improvement. If the weather is nice getting outside for a walk might be nice - exercise improves mood.