Lost Memories

I just started thinking about this...I don't remember much from childhood. And really not a lot from college either, so its not that its been 25 years. Flashes if memories, maybe and normally really hazy but sometimes I'll have a memory and am not sure if its real or not.

I wonder how other people remember things. Like everything, I wonder if it is a bp thing or a me thing.

Do you remember your past well?

I am in the same boat as you. My memory is shot....I dont remember much of anything. It seems as bp gets worse the memory gets just as bad for me.

I suffer from the same thing. As my bipolar seems to get worse, I see to remember less and less. Its even gotten to short term now. I've taken to writing things down because I forget them an hour later.

My memory is horrible! Feel like Adam Sandler in the movie Click, feel like I'm on auto pilot. Just going thru life and can't really remember what's gone on. Figured it was due to the meds, never suspected the bp itself.

I don't think it's a BP issue -in the sense of memory loss from the distant past being a characteristic of it. There could be all kinds of psychological reasons. My memories from childhood are very sparse as well.

I read that the brain of someone with bipolar can end up being like that of someone with Alzheimer's. my memory is shot. It's caused by most meds and every high or major low kills off brain cells. Cheery huh?

That's really depressing. But makes me feel better about my memory. Mine is awful, I forget everything and people are always getting mad at me for it. At work I'm a note/list master just to get thigh the day. And arggg Im only 26!

I agree w/ Mack2. Could be caused by a lot of other stuff, not necessarily the BP. But stress and meds can cause short term memory problems.

Unfortunately, I have a very clear memory of every bad thing that has ever happened to me, not the good, just the bad.

Mine is worse than it used to be. I have to make lists for everything. I would fall apart without my calendar. I have lots of bad memories so I try to push those way back. They serve no benefit.

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I tend to remember a lot of the pleasurable moments. Overall my memory is worse, especially my short term memory and some of that maybe to drug abuse.

I'm either blessed or cursed but my broken brain still functions like a super computer and I'm not saying that to brag. Most memories are intact, good and bad, and whatever I read, watch or listen becomes part of my neurological hard drive. I enjoy sparring with psychiatrists, throwing out facts, figures, names of researchers I've read or communicated with. I want help but I won't let anyone fk with me. I do the same to my BPD wife and she'll swear I'm wrong or making it up. Proof that alcohol does kill brain cells.

My memory is aweful. I am embarrassed by how many things i have forgotten. People i have known since childhood use to say stuff like, "remember when we did _______" and i am DONT remember. Bummer. I had an abusive childhood (that i hid from all of my friends/family) so I don't know if that is part of it. Ive also killed tons of brain cells via personal "rock-star" like choices, so there are a few variables.

Yeah, I know the remember when stuff. And randomly I'll get a flash of something and wonder if it's real or if I just imagined it.

I hate it. I had many good memories as a child (from what I hear and remember) and a ton more from college. I do remember having fun. I just don't remember what I did for that fun. Weird.

Another way to look at things is this .... Years ago say our grandparents or even parents... Worked there *** off but the difference is they had a job or a house to run. The average parent wasn't dragging there kids to 18 different activities weekly. The kids did chores and played in the front yard sprinklers and made up teams to play ball at the local park no uniforms were needed no *****ing parents crying No fair let my child play, It was a game kids played .. why ? because it was fun.. People now have 2 or 3 jobs at a time, there are a lot more divorced families *** Gasp*** no the world did not cave in , Plus keeping a home, upkeep on homes , cars ,social media , making sure everyone had a meal that some how resembles healthy every few days, There is more illness now , not just mental illness. People live off drive thru meals.. why ? they can't find the time to make a meal.

So before everyone flips out because they can't remember who the hell they sat next to at lunch in the 1st grade ..... Remember life has changed a lot and who has time to remember it all? let alone why to remember it all?

I agree with Christina that life is too busy these days.

I find myself in a daze at times forgetting what I am doing. As for past memories, abuse in early childhood caused PTSD, so those memories will pop up out of no where. I have great memories of high school and college, even though it was a long time ago. I know who all of my best friends were; however, I don't remember the names of everyone I hung around with-some just didn't leave an impression on me.

As for recent memories, I sometimes miss things because I don't pay attention. I don't know if it is meds or age. When time allows, I find that I am a much bigger daydreamer than in younger years.

Bluemountains

I make lists for lists and have to check them constantly. And I'm always panicking that I've forgotten something

You could have been dissociative. Because of severe child abuse (I was under the protection of Child Protective Services during a time when only the most extreme abuse cases were cared about) yet I have no clear memories. I do have my medical records, court records, and CPS records. They fill in the gaps. My bipolar disorder doesn't help. Cognitive impairment is a symptom, especially in severe mania and psychosis. The prefrontal cortex essentially becomes anesthetized, making higher level cognitive processes impossible.

For the most part I have a lot of really clear memories, even from my distant past.

My short-term memory isn't necessarily all that great though... but significant events I always remember.

I do have a quirk when drinking though: my first "sign" of being a bit overly drunk is short black-outs. Unfortunately I will be unaware of it until the next day. But I'll have black-outs without having hangovers or any signs of sickness, and I'll have been in good control of my body and conversations. I just get black-outs early on.

My memory is shot. That's why my phone is my best friend .

Not bipolar and no past child abuse but I suffered a three year long depression that ended 10 years ago. I have had depressed moods before and after, but that one was very special. One of my main symptoms was I was completely dumb. I didn't understand how to manage anything. Had no sense of time. My attention span was so short I couldn't transfer things I thought into memory.

Needless to say I got in a bit of trouble, especially with unpaid bills. I forgot what to do with letters I got and what they were for. Also when I was downtown once (for an emergency appointment turning out I didn't need help here and now ironically enough) I forgot where I lived, and I had lived at the same place for five years. I was emotionally exhausted and could blow up at people for no reason.

When I got better I noticed my brain didn't work the same as before. I had actually became fearless (not anxiety less), my taste in music had changed radically, I had a much shorter attention span and I am dumber. Things are better than when I was really depressed but I took the same official test and I lost almost 10 IQ points.

I think depression can actually harm your brain but it can repair itself. It's just that it might not go back to where it was.