Long time, no post - Having a breakdown.

Okay, so, I haven't posted in awhile. Things got kind of bad and a little crazy for a bit. I also got kind of sick for awhile, so I wasn't able to do much of anything.

Anyways, I finished my first year of college thankfully and I finally got a new job. I will be quitting my bad one tomorrow, I'm just very concerned and nervous for this new one. They seem nice, and it's a bigger company... So I'm really hoping it works out. It's working in a deli, so if anyone's ever done that, any tips and things you could tell me would be great.

However, the reason I'm having a bit of a breakdown tonight is my usual "No one cares about me" and I feel lonely in the world... But it's got something new with it now.

Last night, my friend texted me and told me she was going to get a second job, then wanted to move into an apartment. She wants me to be her roommate.

I was immediately excited and I've been on a high about that all night last night and all day today. Talked with my mom about it too, and it's sounding incredibly doable.

However, I am now freaking out, because I'm realizing that I'm going to be going off on my own and separating from a mother who made me more than dependent on her. I'm scared I won't be able to handle being away from her and it's going to be scary handling it all on my own.

I know I can do it, it's just a scary thought.

I'm also concerned because my friend doesn't know I get into these kinds of moods where I get really upset. I always have my mom there to help me through it, I don't know what to do when I won't have her in the next room to talk to me.

,Hey Hydro !!!

Good to see you Of course it is normal to be worried about moving. The truth is your Mom will still be there for you. She just won't know if you have to call in sick or not ( speaking of the past problems with her) Spread your wings and fly, Your mom will still be there.

If financially you can manage it ... Jump and pack and move !

Congrats on your First year of college

That's great news. How far is it from your mom? If you guys watch a TV series together maybe make it a mother/daughter night to watch it together once a week that may give you a bit more confidence.

Thanks! And yes, that will be really nice. Except I won't be able to afford to miss work too much living on my own. D: But that's part of growing up!

I can afford it, but I have to wait and see how well this job works out first. I think it will go well, I hope.

And it's also much harder because my sisters are minors and will be going off to college next year (They're graduating at 16 years old) and that means my family might be leaving out of the state, leaving me here alone. That, and I don't have a car which is going to make moving out difficult. However, there is a bus system so I'm hoping to use that.

You'll be fine. You can still lean on your Mom and when you are comfortable enough with your friend, you might explain your disorder. Don't let it hold you back, just try. Good luck

I would definitely tell your friend before you finalize moving in. You can tell her that you want to be honest and let her know about your moods ahead of time so she can be prepared.

If the bus system there is anything like the where the city we moved out of three years ago, it's doable and you can do it!

I will pray that you continue to make progress

Thank you both! She already knows I get depressed, but I'll remind her so she knows I just have moments where I do want to be alone. I think she'll be okay with it, or at least, I hope she will be.

And I don't know if the bus system is that good here... I guess I will have to find out! The only concern for it I have, is how I will get to work. D: But we'll figure it out, I'm sure. (: