[comicgeek007]

I probably sound like a broke record, always worrying over little things. But I think I actually have reason to be concerned now.

I'm restless, I can hardly sit at my computer. I've been on PC on my phone most of today and yesterday (but now it's dead but that's not really relevant). Instead of restricting food like has become my norm, I ate so much for dinner three nights in a row. Tonight I had a full to the top bowl of chilli with noodles, two eggs, two big chunks of watermelon, and another full bowl of buttered noodles and I was still ready to eat more but I had literally made myself sick from eating so much (compared to what I normally eat, at least). I feel like crap, my thoughts are racing, I lost almost all my eyelashes today to trichotilimania, I've got random as hell songs playing in my head, and I just want to curl in a ball and scream.

I'm not sure if I'm in a swing or just flipping out for no good reason. Both seem likely.

God, I wish I could run.

[~Christina]

Why can't you run ? or do loads of cardio to burn off the excess pent up energy?

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Why can't you run ? or do loads of cardio to burn off the excess pent up energy?

It's getting dark out and it's not safe to go running in my area after dark.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by comicgeek007

It's getting dark out and it's not safe to go running in my area after dark.

Also, I still feel like I'm gonna puke again.

[~Christina]

Do cardio in your house. Sit ups , push ups, leg lifts .. etc .. anything that will increase your heart rate.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Do cardio in your house. Sit ups , push ups, leg lifts .. etc .. anything that will increase your heart rate.

okay. I'll do that and see how I feel. Thanks.

[Nessa213]

When I'm like this I will pace my house. To make myself feel better about it I call it "house walking".

Like Christina said... anything you can do in your house would be good to burn off some excess energy.

[redbandit]

Housewalking, I like that! I do that sometimes if I have too much energy and for whatever reason cant walk or run outside. ((hugs comicgeek007)) hope u feel better!

[comicgeek007]

Did a bunch of exercise, talked to a friend. Feel a little better, I guess. Still feel compelled to eat everything, though even though I still feel sick.

[Nessa213]

Originally Posted by comicgeek007

Still feel compelled to eat everything, though even though I still feel sick.

Do you take a multi vitamin? I've heard somewhere (yes! I realize that sounds totally legit!), but I heard somewhere that when you have excessive hunger that cannot be satisfied that it might be that your body is seeking out a particular vitamin that it is currently deficient in.

It's worth a shot taking one if you have it on hand.

[Darth Bane]

you can drink fruit juice before every meal. it has vitamins and all good things but no fats. additionally you wont want to eat too much of other food because you will feel full due to juice. i did this when i wanted to lose weight. and honestly you can eat ten big chunks of watermelon but still you wont gain any weight, there is just water in watermelon... and we cant stay slim for all 12 months in year... there is some season/evolution thing... at best if you succeed to stay slim for 8 months every year then it's huge achievement...

[unlived]

Originally Posted by Darth Bane

you can eat ten big chunks of watermelon but still you wont gain any weight, there is just water in watermelon... .

and a fair bit of sugar unfortunately

Hey!

You're not a broken record, you're an interesting human being who happens to be a little confused and possibly desperate? It's perfectly alright. Hold on tight, comicgeek! I'll cheer you on.

[Darth Bane]

Originally Posted by unlived

and a fair bit of sugar unfortunately

yes, and that...

[comicgeek007]

Instead of juice, I'm gonna try loading up on water to try to curb my appetite.

[Confusedinomicon]

Are you talking to your t about your eating habits? Food seems to be a trigger for you. You seem to eat too much and purge, eat too much and exercise (type of purging) or feel like you have no control over your consumption. I have heard that antidepressants can help OCD, and I think a therapist who specializes in eating disorders would do you good. Food seems to be connected to your moods.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Are you talking to your t about your eating habits? Food seems to be a trigger for you. You seem to eat too much and purge, eat too much and exercise (type of purging) or feel like you have no control over your consumption. I have heard that antidepressants can help OCD, and I think a therapist who specializes in eating disorders would do you good. Food seems to be connected to your moods.

My T seems to think that my moods trigger eating problems. Which makes sense. I was feeling hypo (whether I actually am or am not, that's the best way to describe it), and then I started overeating. When I'm depressed or normal, I restrict more and overall worry more about my weight. I guess right now I just feel out of control because I can't seen to get a handle on any of this.

[Confusedinomicon]

It seems like your T is getting to know you and your quirks. That's good.

I think it will take time so you shouldnt feel bad about the behavior as long as you know its something your working on. Nothing cures itself over night and it takes persistent to change behavior.

You just have to stay diligent with therapy and be honest about what's going on. Your willingness to tackle the problems will guide you. Even if your not ready, it doesn't mean you wont get to it. Sometimes the trigger is too great and you wont have the mental fortitude to work on it...whatever though. Were all on this journey and its not linear.

Thinking about you. How's the food going today? I noticed that we have the ED thing in common...I know how hard it is. I think I recall Kay Jamison writing in An Unquiet Mind how her appetite would skyrocket during mania. Sometimes if I binge, it just has to run its course, so to speak. If I fight it too much - it makes me feel "crazy." So maybe give yourself permission to eat as much as you want and anything you want for awhile? Also, it can help to write down what you eat. Quick bite in the kitchen? Jot it down. Take care.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

It seems like your T is getting to know you and your quirks. That's good.

I think it will take time so you shouldnt feel bad about the behavior as long as you know its something your working on. Nothing cures itself over night and it takes persistent to change behavior.

You just have to stay diligent with therapy and be honest about what's going on. Your willingness to tackle the problems will guide you. Even if your not ready, it doesn't mean you wont get to it. Sometimes the trigger is too great and you wont have the mental fortitude to work on it...whatever though. Were all on this journey and its not linear.

Yeah. I'm seeing him again tonight to do psych testing.
.
My friend suggested ED support group on campus when I get back there. I think I'll try that

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Thinking about you. How's the food going today? I noticed that we have the ED thing in common...I know how hard it is. I think I recall Kay Jamison writing in An Unquiet Mind how her appetite would skyrocket during mania. Sometimes if I binge, it just has to run its course, so to speak. If I fight it too much - it makes me feel "crazy." So maybe give yourself permission to eat as much as you want and anything you want for awhile? Also, it can help to write down what you eat. Quick bite in the kitchen? Jot it down. Take care.

Thanks for thinking of me Food's going better now that I've been using my friend's technique of drinking a lot of water with meals so I can't eat as much.

You're welcome! Kudos on the water. I'm a Diet Coke addict! x