[Travelinglady]

I seem to be stable right now. I'm having to take it extra easy after some surgery and seem to be dealing with this stress well. Yay!

Positive thoughts to all of you here!

[Margolomania]

Been busy the past days moving into friend's apartment! Then will be leaving for a few days' vacation. I've been getting easily angry and agitated, but I think I'm sill doing well! I always seem to do better with big changes though... thriving in chaos and whatnot.

Hope everyone has had good days!

Very rough start. Fragile or something, because it was such a small thing, but it shattered me. The tear and booger factories were in full production. Had to go to work, couldn't afford not to. Would've made 3 off just this week. Day did (eventually) improve, psychologically, anyway.

(The following paragraph MIGHT be TRIGGERING??):



Found myself at one of the places of the ideation visions of the other day. (Not on purpose. It happens to be between home and the car shop.) Totally casual ponderings. No real power though. Not at ALL like going back through the town where the launch of last year's series of breakdowns actually occurred. Not just inside my head, but outside of it as well. (Far, far away, but apparently there were souvenirs involved.)


And now back to the totally safe:

Going to kick back with my guinea pig and a dvd. Very glad it is the weekend. It was a mentally exhausting week.

Adjusting to my new AD. Usually very down in the mornings and I was rather level today...not used to that. Still have a bit of noise in my head but I dont expect that to go away anytime soon. It's been there my whole life.

[A Red Panda]

I'm really annoyed. I am slowly, and steadily, working my way FURTHER into a depression, and it's not working it's way OUT! I can't get my thoughts to work properly; as soon as I stop being busy it's like the tears are right there behind my eyes again. It's an annoying panicky feeling and I can't kick it

Moderately to severely elated (by my standards)!

I dunno...can't figure it out. I am not hypo...definitely not depresso.
And I feel like my head is doing its best to pick one of the two directions but can't figure out which one to take....so I look like I have a question..but I dont.

[A Red Panda]

So I am supposed to be going to a comic con today. So I went to bed a bit early last night to try to and get caught up on sleep - and friend agreed to leave here at 8:30am to get there on time.

So I went to bed at 10:30. At 2:30am I get woken up because she and her bf were WAY too loud playing games on their computer. She goes to bed around 3am, but guess when I fall back asleep? 4amish. Lovely right? To then wake up at 6:30am. So much for having a decent sleep. I am leaving at 8:30 whether or not she's ready.

I don't even want to go right now, but I already paid for my ticket. I don't want to be there with her, and I don't want to be in a crowd.

I cried until I fell asleep last night. Had a nightmare. Cried until I fell asleep the SECOND time. Had a nightmare. Feel like crying right now too.

AND of all the lovely things... a friend of mine on fb put up a pic of her at someone's wedding - one of my Ex's weddings. He'd gotten back together with the girl he was with before me. The funny thing is? While he and I were together he did nothing but trash her when she came into the conversation and he went on and on about how controlling she was - to the extent that he was "learning to be independent" while we were in a relationship - which was HIM being very controlling (we maybe once did something I wanted to do? We'd been friends since highschool and I hadn't noticed what a ****** relationship it was until it was over). Like, if they're happy that's great and all as I would like them to both be happy. But it was just not what I needed to wake up to.

[Moreta]

I didn't take my seroquel last night, so I was up bright and early at 7 am. I'm trying to get away from taking it, cause I've gained 8 lbs since I started taking it. Plus I'd rather not be on 3 APs.

No plans today. My husband is going down to his mom's to pick up a treadmill and a chair. Not quite sure where they're going in this house, but it's not my problem. Maybe I'll give my mom a call and get her to meet me at the mall or something. I would've liked to spent some time with my husband today, since I really haven't seen him much since thursday at lunch. He's been doing school orientation. I went to orientation last night, so I got to see him for a while there, but he left there to go to his fantasy football draft, so I didn't see him at all last night.

[Phoenix_1]

Thank you for this forum. Thanks so much everybody for sharing. Two years ago my pdoc told me I was bipolar and I said "No I'm not"!! I came on these forums for awhile but drifted away. Two weeks ago my new pdoc said yes I am bipolar. I think he's right.

Your posts in this forum made me realize that yes I am bipolar, and that I'm not alone. A lot of you do the very same things that I do.

I feel that I'm not alone in the world anymore and I feel validated. It's a very good feeling, one that I haven't had for years and years. I feel like I found a lot of new friends and a home here at psychcentral.

Thank you all so much.

Also, I've been getting 2-3 hours sleep for the past month, with some very bad results. I was taking 5 mg of melatonin every night. Friday night I forgot to take my melatonin and I slept 7 hours. Last night I slept 8. I guess here in Canada I should only take melatonin in the winter. I feel very rested.
I'm also very happy to be back here on psychcentral. Thank you all.

[Mollywisk]

Feeling tired and not sure why. It's not depression type tired and sleepy; just sleepy. I had almost 8 hours of good sleep.

Does lamictral make anyone sleepy?

[worthit]

I don't remember it making me sleepy but I got an allergic reaction to it and broke out in a rash and had to stop taking it

Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk 2

[Margolomania]

Feeling very... odd. Ya know when you begin to feel like an alien? Then it goes on ahead to feeling alone, just alone. And it's not the good kind where you get to feel yourself wrapping around the different realities of your life. No, it's the kind where everything else feels black and cold, where you feel dejected in a corner and you don't remember how or why you got there in the first place. That's how I'm starting to feel. A sad alien.

Meh.

[Mollywisk]

Feeling disappointed in myself for not following my sleep schedule and worried that I go back to work in a week and will blow it.

[LadyShadow]

Feeling quite at ease with myself today. In a relaxed state. Very good for me, because I am usually so depressed I don't want to get out of bed.

Still adjusting to my new med and reading more and more articles about BPD2 and realizing that I have been doing this my whole life...since high school...OMG if I had only known.
Of course I dont think they had BPD2 back in the 1980's did they?
I was so busy self medicating and drowning my pain that I wouldnt have known any better anyway.
Now (and because of the thread "you know you are bipolar when") I am certain of my bp-ness and am very anxious to treat it and live a "normal" life.

[roads]

I was so busy self medicating and drowning my pain that I wouldnt have known any better anyway.

Me too, SpiritOfAStorm ... a veritable fortune in scotch down the ol' gullet & it just made things worse ...
Happy to meet you here as we try to get better.
Roadie

[Moreta]

Had a crisis this morning, my husband couldn't find his MerrilLynch checks and he was yelling, so I started crying. I left to go do my work, and about 2 miles away I decided to go back home and look through the trash, which I didn't need to do, cause my husband already found the checks and sent me a text, but I didn't see it. errr. Got to work work late because of it.

My jaw hurts so bad today. Going to the dentist tomorrow, so hopefully I'll find something out.

[comicgeek007]

Happy birthday to me!

[avlady]

Good Luck!!!!!

[Phoenix_1]

Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong but I think bipolar is just BP and BPD refers to borderline personality disorder.
This is confusing me.

I am just ok today. Not hypo and not depressed.

[Mollywisk]

I am ok. First night of sleep schedule and routine implementation. I hit about 50% of my plan, and trying to ignore the critical voice in my head that says I was ONLY 50%.

I was able to follow my routine but did it an hour later than planned. I used strategies- pjs and socks on as I read that keeping feet warm helps maintain sleep when body temp drops in the middle of the night. I was able to wake up at a decent hour and not go back to sleep.

Today, no naps so that I am tired earlier (maybe). Today, follow routine but an hour earlier. Today, go for a walk or to the gym but not too late in the day.

Gave myself a couple of small errands to get out of the house, a couple small chores at home, and a new project with no deadline since I tend to overdo projects and quit when I don't meet my self imposed deadline or criteria.

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by Phoenix_1

Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong but I think bipolar is just BP and BPD refers to borderline personality disorder.
This is confusing me.

I am just ok today. Not hypo and not depressed.

BP = bipolar (and honestly, I see most people type it as bp. I usually include my number if I'm talking about myself, so I use bp2).
BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

[Patsy Cline]

I feel tired, fidgety, anxious, sleepy, wired...and I'm hungry.

[gayleggg]

I'm so depressed I can barely say hello to someone without breaking into tears. I'm going to see my pdoc in an hour. I hope he has a solution. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.
Gayle