Opinion on my trust issues....

I have a mood disorder, panic attacks and PTSD.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist for about 4 years now. This may sound impossible but - when can you tell if your being manipulated by your doctor?

It's very confusing to me because I know and admit I have problems processing certain things for various reasons but I'm completely confident my psychiatrist is manipulating me.

I don't want this to sound like I'm losing it - I really want your opinion - honestly. After all these years if I cancel or try to change an appointment he becomes very upset - not my personal opinion, he really does get upset. Most recently when I left a message to cancel an appointment 5 days in advance, his return call said "so much for being nice - you cancelled your appointment. I guess that's what I get for being nice." Does this sound odd to you?

This call, because I didn't call him right back, within 24 hours he called me 7 times and the last message he left told me if I didn't call back and confirm another time and date the following week he would bill me for it. I called to cancel the appointment for the following week but if I don't call him back AGAIN he will bill me for it?

Does this sound odd to you? I have a huge problem with trust and I desperatly wanted someone I could see where I didn't feel like I had to weigh everything. I feel like he's trying to manipulate me because he wants me to come more frequently and if I miss an appointment or even tell him (at my appointment) I won't be coming the following week, he drills me and tells me unless he agrees to why I'm missing the appointment, I can't miss it and if I do, he will bill me.

Does this sound normal? Honestly, I'm confused.

Sometimes it's difficult to see if our thoughts are in sync with reality. What I mean to say is that yes what you're saying does sound a bit off to me, but are you sure it's not a narrative you've created?

Have you tried talking to him about this? I don't mean just calling five days in advance what I mean is confronting him about your feelings with regards to the nature of the bond which exists between you. How you feel he's coming in between you and the therapy you need?

However if it does turn out that he is manipulating you then you should change therapists. Ultimately the therapy is not about him or his needs, but yours and the personal work you need to do for yourself, which he is being paid to help you with.

I would advise to talk to him about it and then think of a way to deal with this problem (if it's symptomatic of your trust issues) but if he is going through something of his own and it's coming in the way of you getting better, then I think you should consider an alternative therapist.

Best of luck and hope to hear how it goes in the future.

My opinion is that this does not sound like a healthy normal Dr./patient relationship. My best advice is to see if you can find, if this is possible, any other patients and see if he treats them the same way. It's really hard some times to find out one's motivation for their behavior. It does seem very suspicious that every time he calls you back after you have cancelled an appointment it's about him BILLING you for a missed appointment and not about the care/support that you need for your well being unless you just have a habit of missing or changing most of your appointments. Calling 5 days in advance is plenty of time for him to fill your appointment slot. Good Luck...

Sounds really dodgy to me. He shouldn't be making you feel bad about scheduling appts when it suits you. With all my doctors and therapists I've had the freedom to make appts when it suits me. When I've been really sick he's recommended weekly visits but the actual timing etc is done by his secretary and me.

Does the pdoc serve as your therapist as well? Also, is he in his own private practice? I'm curious because he makes his own phone calls and appointments. Where I live, I have never heard of a pdoc who takes on all of these roles-scheduler, therapist, and doctor. This is more common for t's.

All that you have shared sounds very odd to me. Since you are feeling so uncomfortable, it might be a good idea to seek out another pdoc. The one you are dealing with now sounds very intimidating and manipulative.

Bluemountains

That's not acceptable in my opinion at all. Completely unprofessional and manipulative.

And there are bad therapists out there and there are therapists who should be patients instead (I've had at least one like that).

I had difficulty telling some things to both my previous and current therapist for fear of being judged (same things but had to tell them both) and both told me that I should not only feel like I could trust my therapist but also that a therapist shouldn't make me feel judged.

So if it were me, I'd would just try to find a new therapist and not go back to this one.

Let me try and clear up the confusion for you: There is absolutely NOTHING normal about this. Get away from him. Yes, this sounds like he is trying to manipulate you. It is manipulative at any rate, which is more than enough reason to not see him again.

Another good reason to leave him, so to speak, is that he seems to be breaking every single rule about the doctor-patient relationship.

I work in health care and our policy is 24 hours cancelation notice. And my boss means 24 hours (not just the day before.) If your appointment is at 3:00 and you call to cancel at 3:30 the day before, that's less than 24 hours.... So, I know some people can really be sticky on this subject. The reason is so that we have time to fill the spot with someone else. Sometimes we have a waiting list of 4 weeks, which isn't that log considering we're more of a specialist. But still, some people don't like to wait.

But, this is completely odd to me. Five days is ample time to cancel. Once patients cancel we don't call to harrass them. I am a secretary so I normally talk to folks on the phone. I call back one time to reschedule them. That's it. If they don't call back, then that's on them. It's called patient responsibility.

Doctors can break down just like anyone else. They can have mental health issues, too. This is not a healthy environment for you to be in. I suggest you look for a new doctor. Even if you've been with this doctor a long time, it seems he's breaking down and it could be something as simple as stress, but still it's not good to put this type of pressure on your patients.

My radar would be up. Sounds strange and I would likely terminate the relationship. Life is too short to deal with people that make you feel that way, doctor or otherwise. I would just move on and find someone who is more in sync with that you need, and someone that seems to care about his/her patients welfare, not just his/her billable hours.

I would change pdoc's ASAP

I have to agree with everyone else, this not seem to be a healthy relationship between you and your tdoc, I would definitely try to find someone else.