Prescription meds

I have no problem giving support when I am stable.

But I have a problem when I turn around and I have no-one to count on myself. When the emotions well up and get too strong, and I have to fight the strong urges not to take benzos and knock myself out. Even now I feel like it. To run

@Hamster - had to take 2 head pills again last night because I had an uncomfortable headache. It wasn't terribly sore, but dull. Now I am starting to eat concerned that I am getting addicted. I don't know how long it would take to get addicted. I'm not taking a lot of them, but just rather frequently.

Can you afford bi-weekly therapy for now? I have no suggestions right now, sorry but know you can lean on us and I'll try to be on gmail if you need to talk, but time zones suck.

I am now dealing with the medical fund managers to get extra therapy approved and my T will fight my case too. I'm hopeful

wow, do I ever know what you mean!

I too am an addict. I abused benzos. I think it was just the first time I took them things in my mind slowed down and I was able to rest and relax. I wasn't on any meds for no yet so my mind ran a hundred miles an hour non stop 24/7. Having that peaceful feeling just immediately took me in. Self medicating. I never knew it was normal for a mind to be calm. I thought everyones mind was like mine. Once you have the right med combo and your stable I believe you will find just like me that those cravings will be few and far between. I have been off the benzos for 2 yrs and 2mo 3days. I rarely ever think about it anymore. Maybe every 3 months or so. It gets easier every day. You can do this. Just remember when you get the strong cravings that this too shall pass. Take a few deep breaths and occupy your mind on something productive. You got this!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk 2

Thanks!
I wish being stable was easy and permanent. On Wednesday I was really battling and had cravings, but I've leveled out over the weekend. I know I am the only one that can control myself and I need to be responsible now.

Saga, I know also how lonely it can feel if you don't have anyone in real life who atleast tries to understand. I really have only my husband but before he took the initiative to study and find out all he could about bipolar it was very hard for me. I now have him there and he supports me and understands more why I act and do the things I do sometimes. Before he learned what he could about me he always thought when I was down that he wasn't making me happy that somehow he could fix it. Now he knows it's chemicals in my brain and there's nothing he can do but try and just be there to listen. Now we are closer than ever. Maybe you could do this with your boyfriend. Get him a book about living with a bipolar loved one. Then you want feel so alone all the time. Hope things are going well.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk 2

Had some drinks after work with my bf and friends. I then ducked off home and he wanted to go to the pub. I am too tired. Busy lying in bed. Exhausted. Made a sandwich. Had a good few beers. Home alone until he decides to come home. But I have my pug Apollo. Sure ill sleep ok. I'm not too emotional and will stay away from the benzos. Had a painkiller for my head though