wtf to do.. sui idealized mentioned

As most of you know as of late my family has been having a difficult time. At points its been a bit dangerous for us to be around each other. All three of us have had very intense sui thoughts to the point I had to put in some safety measures. Blah, blah, blah, you get the drift.

I'm getting a bit better at least I can be angry, cry and no longer can vividly envision my suicide. My husband has actually the room for a couple hours the past two days and has hugged me when I've broken down in tears for no reason, not because he has felt anything about it but that's what he has felt I needed. This is fine with me as I understand that feeling atleast he's starting to be able to look outside himself .

admits admits all this bull crap we have got his ssi 2nd denial, my birthday, school hounding me because I haven't registered (I haven't registered because I don't know if it's a good idea),my husband's insurence taken away, my husbands insurance re-instated, getting Miguel ready for school, our food alowence being cut from $97/wk to $57/wk and all the pre-opt stuff for this Friday's surgery. So naturally our house /lawn is a complete disaster.

So on to the problem, I have therapy tomorrow to figure out our options given are co-morbid issues and being out of town thu. -Monday for Miguel's surgery but we got a letter like 2 hrs ago that we have to be home all day tomorrow for a house inspection. If we are not home, we loose our housing assistance. it can not be reschedule and if we loose assistance we are homeless. Did I mention our house is a disaster! Now tomorrow I have to be in two places at once the only way I can make both is if housing comes before 2:30 p.m. I don't have my licence for my safety with my bipolar and all my friends work.

Both appointments are equally important but I'm only one person so what am I suppose to do ? We have no $ to cut the grass (that's a requirement), our house is a disaster how do you clean it in 8 hrs, and one of the toilets are broken? Any idea's would be greatly appreciated.