Misperceptions of Bipolar

I was wondering how you handle the misperceptions that people have about bipolar, especially when people know about your diagnosis before you tell them (through a friend or other family member, etc.)?

I find that it does bother me when someone approaches me with pity or even 'just wants to talk about mental health for no reason' or asks me if I am happy when I am having a good time. I don't feel the need to explain myself or discuss mental illness with them and although I move through the situation without incident, it still bothers me. And I might think about it later and I would rather not waste the energy.

Any advice or thoughts?

I've only just recently gotten my diagnosis... but I can say for sure that if anyone I know tells anyone ELSE my diagnosis? I would definitely be angry, definitely would stop trusting them, and might very well cut them out of my life (it depends on who they are, who they've told, etc.). I've got a lot of trust issues... but it's no one's business to EVER tell anyone else about my personal life and health.

People tend to open up about stuff with me though, and I tend to reciprocate to various extents; I don't mind talking about some of my past experiences.

When people say things in any conversation (whether or not they know anything about me) that pertains to mental health I will in fact correct them. If they start to argue with me, it is one of the subjects that I will end up arguing back on. If they are totally ignorant I will certainly not share my own experiences with them at all.

I haven't had any of those experiences, but as a nursing student in the hospital I came across one. As student nurses each week at clinicals we're supposed to "pick" a patient, talk to them, learn about them & their medical condition. The nurse told be that Patient in room x would be a "good" one since she has xyz medical problems, but she's bipolar so I need to be careful. When I went to patient's room I had prepared myself to encounter someone in a manic episode or depressed. I was pleasantly surprised to find a cheerful, helpful lady willing to talk about anything that could help me, the nurse, or her hospital care. Later that night when it was shift change the nurse I was paired with started to tell the incoming one that patient was bipolar so she needed to be careful and I interjected that patient was cheerful, easy to get along with, and very helpful.

Just yesterday I had an excellent physician ask me if Bipolar makes things awful to
deal with--he's a great guy, by the way--and I responded, "No, no, it doesn't get in
my way".

People can understand that, and as for getting in our way, that's the thing we
manage well, in my view, for the most part.

Much of this is lies in how we see it. Those who have never experienced bipolar illness
cannot understand its giftedness. There's no need to ever try to justify it to anyone,
in my view.

And you know what I think of "stigma". Forget that! We live in the 21st century, not
the dark ages.

Give them a very long stare, blink , smile and walk away.

I guess it depends on what their motives appear to be.
Most times I wish people would acknowledge that I am different in some ways, because they appear embarrassed and awkward when they know I have bipolar, yet don't know how to handle it, and are too scared to talk about it. Sometimes they seem to not believe there is anything wrong, and not comprehend why I need to manage my stressors as I do in order to keep an episode from worsening. Then when I get over exuberant, they get irritated, and are ignorant about what it going on.

It gets pretty lonely, cos I struggle to hold conversations that others are interested in. I guess its part of my social skills deficiency that makes it difficult for everyone.

I think it's great that it seems that many of you may not have had the experience of judgement based on BPD, but I feel it in my social interactions (someone may have learned through a family member or acquaintance about my dx before I told them, someone I never would have told). This happens when you have been living with this dx for more than 5 years. Sometimes things about your personal life or health are gossiped about.

I would like to think that there is no longer any stigma associated with mental illness or BPD. To me it is normal. People have differences. But I personally don't think that most people out in the world are as open-minded or have had the experience to understand mental illness.

Any thoughts on the stigma of BPD or dealing with people's preconceived notions/judgements?

I actually had a very well meaning family member tell me that she thought it was a "spiritual tear". I at first was internally reactive to that and annoyed, but then I thought about it...sometimes well intended people say or think uneducated things...I know i have said/done my fair share over time, unfortunately. One cannot have knowledge of all things. So as long as the comments are made in non-malicious ways, I use it as an opportunity to help them understand my point of view better and that (i hope) paves the way for less uneducated things to come out of their mouths in the future.

If people are just being jerks...well that is a whole 'nuther story...i just don't have time for that!

I don't believe most people understand -nor do I really expect them to- bipolar disorder. So I don't discuss it. 2 people in my life know, and I definitely wouldn't reveal or discuss it with anyone I don't know very well, not worth it.

My cousin has bipolar (I) disorder. He's kind of a jerk (outside of episodes, nothing to do with his bipolar), but my cousin (his brother) and his wife think that *this* is part of what it's all about (his brother's character). I've tried to explain it to them (without revealing my diagnosis and telling them I know about it through working in healthcare) and I do think they've come around a bit, but not enough that I'm going to be sharing it with them.

My mother -regarding the same cousin- if he, on the phone, exhibits any change in energy (sounds especially energetic or something) she says 'he's manic.' I think a lot of people think that people with bipolar are constantly moody, swinging from this to that, and I don't want people scrutinizing my every mood/emotion, assuming it's bipolar, when more often than not, it's not.

I hope that those close to me will try to accept me the way I am, and challenge me, as well, when necessary. There are things they won't understand like I do, but I don't want people thinking of me in terms of stereotypes or misinformation and I also fear that in telling people they will think that I'm trying to use it as an excuse. I am the way I am, I do my best (sometimes not enough) at any given time. I don't want to be defined by the label. So, again, I just don't tend to share it, and I think it saves a lot of grief.

Everbody in my family has mental illness, so I'm normal lol I don't talk about it with my friends really. That's just me though

I've only told a very few people, my immediate family, in-laws, siblings, and one guy at work. The guy at work was a recommendation from my psychiatrist. He said I need someone at work that I can trust to tell me when I'm going off the reservation. Everyone has been very accepting. They are relieved to find that there is a reason I have been such a butthead in the past.

However...

For all of their understanding, I might as well be schizophrenic. There is nothing in their minds that separates one illness from another. I don't hold that against them. I would probably have done the same thing before I was diagnosed.

I really don't talk to many people, but I tend to be pretty open about myself being bipolar, I really don't care if people know or not, when I tell someone there like, im either am, or someone close to them is, and and 80-90% of the time the person I am talking to is on some type of depressive med, or has been on one. Im not sure if it is because I live in a small community, and the surrounding communities are only a little biggier. Our community health org is pretty big here, so IM sure that has a big impact.