[WrongEverything]

I can't take the moments of madness. Six pills nightly 30 days minimum that's 180 pills a month, 2000 pills a year…. just trying to stay sane. I can't function. I'm never getting out of this cycle - this circle - of unending misery. I'm a poor excuse for a human who's not even sure if living is an option.

Everything and nothing. All rolled into one. I know at the root of it all I'm so amazing.. But I'm just so F***ed up….

I feel like this lumbering retard because of these pills and my mood or lack thereof. All I can do is play music to try and stimulate some sort of feeling. Probably take one too many sleeping pills again, I've been over-medicating again. And not on the ones I should be. I need to take my meds. 2000 Pills a year. D**n.

*hugs* its not fun being on handfuls of pills a day. It sucks living like a zombie and having no emotion. I feel dopey all of the time, have a terrible memory, and then the side effects! You are not alone. Sending big cyber hugs mate.

[Victoria'smom]

Since they are obviously not working for you can you go to inpatient or iop to clear all medications out of your body and start fresh ? You shouldn't feel doped, have unmanageable side effects, or over medicated. A good pdoc would try to think of meds that work on combined issues, and work towards you not feeling so crappy.

[WrongEverything]

I really can't go back inpatient, i just got out of one last month. I've got college starting in 3 days... I don't see it being a viable option.

[avlady]

Maybe college will help you organise yourself and give you incentive to do things and on time. Papers due, classes, it does sound like alot but i find if i have something i have to due by a certain date, i try my best to get it done. I agree you shouldn't feel dope up, try to get handle on your meds too.

[Skittles56]

I also think you're over-medicated. Your doctor should be able to adjust your meds. Make sure you tell him about the lumbering retard part. I told my doctor about it and he adjusted my meds. Took a little while to get used to it, but I'm much better.

[~Christina]

I think you and your Pdoc need to sit down and review your medications. It is pretty common to just have pill after pill added and down the road finding out some are not necessary or making things worse.

A few times a year I do a total detox off all my meds. But I don't advise you to do that with out approval from your Doctor .