[LostBear]

I think about this everyday now, which probably means I need them more than ever.

I am a physician but I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until after a lot of erratic behavior got me kicked from residency. Now my medical education seems to have to value. I have tried getting a medical license - so I can at least say I am or was a licensed physician, but to no avail. Licensing boards cite either my past behavior or potentially future bad behavior.

I have missed my hypomania before. I always feel less driven. Now I miss my depression and want to feel like I am in a pit and cry and hit stuff, but all I get is a kind of numbness.

Just wondering.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by LostBear

I think about this everyday now, which probably means I need them more than ever.

I am a physician but I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until after a lot of erratic behavior got me kicked from residency. Now my medical education seems to have to value. I have tried getting a medical license - so I can at least say I am or was a licensed physician, but to no avail. Licensing boards cite either my past behavior or potentially future bad behavior.

I have missed my hypomania before. I always feel less driven. Now I miss my depression and want to feel like I am in a pit and cry and hit stuff, but all I get is a kind of numbness.

Just wondering.

Often, but it waxes and wanes. Can you get licensed somewhere else? Like a different state?

[Sunflower35]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I am a nurse and have PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, etc. I think about and do stop my meds frequently. I know better and still do it anyway. I end up in trouble and start the rollercoaster all over again. Stay on your meds!!! It makes your life less complicated.

[Skittles56]

Once or twice a week.

I am baseline to slightly hypo right now, so I have the inevitable "I'm cured" or "My doctor is wrong" going on in my head all of the time. The thing that stops me is my terror of full blown mania. I almost completely destroyed my life last time.

On the other side of the coin, I have suicide ideation when I'm depressed. I know stopping my meds would probably be the end of me.

I will give you the same advice I always give. Stay on your meds. You have a potentially debilitating mental illness. One foot in front of the other. I know this will sound insipid, but you will figure something out about your chances of using your medical education. Just stick to it.

Hope this helps.

[BipolaRNurse]

Stick with your meds. The more you THINK you can do without them, the less likely you are to do well if you did go off them.

Of course, now that I'm stable I have to guard against this very same thinking, because it was the meds that got me here in the first place, and to stop taking even one of them would probably set me back months, if not years. It's not worth it!

Like the poster above me said, you have a mental illness that can absolutely RUIN you if you don't take care of it. I know it's hard being a healthcare provider with bipolar disorder, because we think we know everything and can handle anything that comes up. But even our knowledge and training cannot overcome a biological illness with its roots deep in our brains.

Just my two pence worth. Welcome to PC!

[Yoda]

If your symptoms interfere with your daily life (and it sounds like yours do) you need meds. If you get your bipolar under control you have two choices as I see it. 1. apply for residency match again or 2. pursue more education such as physician scientist training programs, biomedical research or public health.

Best of luck.

[Victoria'smom]

I think about flushing them all every time I have to take them, get hungry, eat or have to chew gum because of the disgusting taste viibryd leaves my Silvia. So atleast 3x a day. The horrible thing is that if I did flush my meds I'd flush my whole families meds and that's just not fair.

[Mrs worried]

Originally Posted by Sunflower35

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I am a nurse and have PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, etc. I think about and do stop my meds frequently. I know better and still do it anyway. I end up in trouble and start the rollercoaster all over again. Stay on your meds!!! It makes your life less complicated.

Hi, I have a nephew who sufferers from PTSD since he is 14 years of age. We thought it was just a teen phase but when he was 17 his behavior changed a lot. He couldn't focus and he became quiet and distinct of reality. About three months ago, we finally took him to a therapist and psychiatrist but his mother didn't wanted to accept he was mentally sick and she stopped the treatment. He is 20 now and in recent two months he hardly eats or talk. Did you suffer similar symptoms. You said you had PTSD. I want to help him. Any help will be appreciated

I didnt for years, I just took the meds and that was life. Its only recently I have been thinking of going off them again, they arnt working the way they should be so I kind of think, whats the point? But then again they could be whats stopping me from getting worse. Its constantly in my head. I spoke to my partner about it and he gave me a stern warning to stay on them until I see my doctor. So now I know I will be on them another 3 weeks at least.

[WrongEverything]

I know I should stay on them but I think of going off them a few times a week now.. it ends up manifesting as "forgetting" to take my meds a few times a week.

Been off meds twice and while it worked for a few months, I was crushingly f**ked up mentally in the end and hospitalized.

Note to self : take meds. Don't question it. Just take them.

[jamox01]

Originally Posted by LostBear

I think about this everyday now, which probably means I need them more than ever.

I am a physician but I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until after a lot of erratic behavior got me kicked from residency. Now my medical education seems to have to value. I have tried getting a medical license - so I can at least say I am or was a licensed physician, but to no avail. Licensing boards cite either my past behavior or potentially future bad behavior.

I have missed my hypomania before. I always feel less driven. Now I miss my depression and want to feel like I am in a pit and cry and hit stuff, but all I get is a kind of numbness.

Just wondering.

I think about stopping my medications quite frequently too. I don't miss the severe mania or mixed states but I do miss the energy and creativity I had when I was hypomanic. I also frequently think about stopping my meds because since starting them I've developed high blood pressure, thyroid issues, and possibly being diabetic.

Sometimes I want to throw in the towel because even though it was full of ups and downs life seemed easier before treatment. However, I have this need to be in control of my bipolar and if I quit bipolar wins and that I can't accept. So, don't stop your meds...you'll be better off!!

What is your diagnosis? I'm bipolar 1 with mixed states. What meds are you taking? I'm on Lithium 900mg, Seroquel 400mg XR, and 3mg of Klonopin.