Mixed Episode? Warning: Triggering Post

I'm having a hard time understanding my feelings today. I'm happy and depressed at the same time. I feel like I can do anything, have tons of energy, am getting a lot done but I'm also depressed and having thoughts of suicide I've never had more conflicting feelings at the same time before, does anyone else experience this? I was only recently diagnosed, is this what's called a mixed episode? It's so confusing, I've never felt both extremes at once before.

Yes and its a dangerous way to be, my suggestion is to try to call your drs office and see if there is an on call dr, if not, go to a psych hospital or ER and tell the truth about feeling suicidal. You are not safe. Can you call someone to come stay with you or drive you to the hospital?

I'm going to try and wait it out, I see my doctor next week I'm just sitting here thinking, it's a strange combination of feelings

It is very strange to feel all of them at once, my problem with mixed moods is I have overwhelming anxiety that fuels it and that makes me feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. Its the most uncomfortable of the states to be in, in my opinion. If you call the dr he might be able to call a med in or tell you what you can do with what you already have. I really wish you would try.

I'm going to stay on here until morning and try to take my mind off it, but if I still feel like it this in the morning I will definitely call in and tell someone. I feel extremely impulsive, I do think I can make it to morning though because I have someone here with me

I'm glad you have someone there with you, do they know how you are feeling? Or can you just say you arent feeling ok right now, you dont have to tell them everything if you dont want to. But I tell on myself, everytime so I know I can be safe. But you can do this, its only a few hours before the dr office opens.

Do you do pinterest? I am seriously addicted to it, maybe that could occupy your mind for a while.

Yes I do use pinterest actually, it's a lot of fun. I might try that for tonight I can't tell the person I'm with how I'm feeling because I don't want to scare them, I'm also afraid of telling my doctor or therapist because I don't want to be sent inpatient again. I really just don't know what to do, it's going to be a long night.

You are going to have to be straight with the dr or they wont be able to treat your symptoms correctly, and if you are having thoughts of suicide then you arent safe unless the person you are with knows and can watch for you. The last mixed episode I had I saw my ther twice that week, the pdoc once to tweak meds and my husband was there to watch me. I saw the drs again the following week too. I was very close yo admitting myself though.

Does the person you are with know you have bp? If so you could just say you are having crooked thoughts, that's what I tell my husband when I am not doing well.

Yes they do know, I was just crying and trying to hide it because I feel like I should be doing better, I was doing so great for a month, I don't know what happened

Bipolar happened. You didn't do anything wrong or anything to hide, though I used to call my bathroom the crying room (to myself). You're having an episode and your meds need adjusted, simple to say now, but you just have to hang on til morning. Let your friend help, they wont want you to feel bad by yourself I'm sure