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#1
Aug 31, 2013, 07:42 PM
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Sometimes, when I'm either severely depressed or hypomanic, I think about hurting other people. It's terrifying, for it seems that I have no control over it.
It's stuff like this that makes me glad I'm not impulsive. Sigh.  Haven't acted upon these thoughts yet. I've always described it as, "I either want to hurt myself or hurt others 95% of the time, while the 5% is caught inbetween." Of course, that is a bit of a hyperbole, but hyperboles describe things so well that I can't help but use them all the time. Oh well. As long as nobody gets hurt, I think I'll be okay. Just need to talk to my counselor about it. Everything will be fine. I hope.
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"Before you can make good music, you just have to shut up. Then the music can say what it has to say." -Kristin Hersh "The most important thing about music that I've learned after all this time is that to me, it's a way of reaching the truth." -Serk Tankian Last edited by Wren_; Aug 31, 2013 at 08:07 PM. Reason: Added trigger icon |
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#2
Aug 31, 2013, 08:04 PM
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During my last manic episode I was extremely afraid of hurting someone because I started having thoughts to do so (I also believed my thoughts were being implanted by someone else so I was all around unwell). It's one of the reasons I put myself in the hospital - but I was unable to control my impulses to hurt myself so I thought it wasn't a far leap to accidentally hurt someone else. As long as you feel you are in control of yourself, bought a aren't necessarily a bad thing. Thoughts are just thoughts. It's what you do with them that matters. And I'm glad you're going to talk to your counselor about it.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
 TheJettSet27
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#3
Aug 31, 2013, 10:47 PM
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If I seriously want to hurt others (happens a lot), I end up sedating myself, I require myself to stay in the master bedroom, and eventually if neither work I hurt myself.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
 TheJettSet27
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#4
Sep 01, 2013, 06:53 PM
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Quote:
and the weird thing is I have been told I am actually a very caring person for example I helped a family o f caterpillars cross the street which some might find crazy but I thought it to be rewarding. You see as my thoughts get worse I try to do kinder more caring things. Just try it you will make you feel better  btw diagnosed as Bipolar with anxiety disorder
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