Student counseling services and meds

I know how frustrating to get into a system and switch pdocs. Are you going and at least hanging out at the cafeteria with friends? As far ED if you are a healthy weight There are mood stabilizers and AD's that cause weight loss and you may be more "compliant" with those but Pdoc would want to keep a close eye on your weight, a dietitian may be called in. You have to plan for stipulations about weight, and intensely dealing with your ED in Therapy.

They don't "seem" to want to deal with bipolar, or is this your interpretation/perception? What did the T actually say? I don't mean to be harsh, but I'm not really understanding what's going on here. DBT *is* additional support to regular therapy, so I don't understand the 'you need more therapy than they're willing to give." Plus you've been pretty stable. Can you share exactly what was said?

Okay, normally they apparently limit therapy to six once-weekly sessions (which I know for a fact is compete BS because I know many students that have gone more than that). They're saying I would need longer term therapy than that.

I'm still trying to get into the DBT class, but normally they require the student to also be in therapy there. Maybe they can make an exception? I don't know. I'm asking my T monday (T at SCS made me make an appointment over the phone with her there to I guess confirm that I have a follow up visit, considering cancelling because I can't seem to find a ride and because I just don't want to see her)

Being stable right now doesn't phase them because I have bipolar disorder which is considered to be a chronic mental illness, at least by them, and my history has three suicide attempts, two of which have been on campus fairly recently (ie last year). The T made me sign a release so they can tell the Dean that I've been seeking help 'in case something were to happen and/or a professor sends me to the dean for acting strange in class'.

My interpretation: She thinks I'm a powder keg ready to go off, even if I'm fairly stable now.

Okay what about going to school T every 2/wks to deal specifically with school/dorm issues and have a regular T for your chronic illness? That way you do have a school T and you can do DBT.

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of body numbers

For the most part my friends don't hang out in the cafeteria, so I either leave, go eat, come back or get a to-go box and take it with me.

And I had gotten to a healthy weight over the summer and started eating regularly and healthily AND APPARENTLY JUST KEPT GAINING. I went from a weight I could live with (bmi of 20.1, at the 34th percentile) to a weight very close to my "cannot (at all) live with this" number (currently bmi of 22.3, 61st percentile) Right now I could lose 20 lbs or so and still not be considered underweight. But I'm not going to try to lose anything until the convention is over with because I need me some big boobs for a super hero costume I'm doing. And when I loose, my chest always goes first for some cruel reason.

As for the T thing, they won't let me do that. They don't allow you to have two T's and SCS won't see me for everything so they won't see me at all. Still going to try to get around the DBT rule, though.

It's complete BS that if you are getting outside help that you can't use CSC services. Oh, look into TRIO SSS program.

I looked that up on the department of education web site and it really didn't make any sense. Could you please explain what it is?

I'm sorry comicgeek, what a royal mess. I remember when I was in college, our student health service was very bare bones, so I can see in a way why they don't do long-term therapy and/or prefer patients who need more care to have long-term therapists. But this begs the question of why can't you see your regular (long-term/regular) T *and* do DBT. Ugh. Is there any other DBT program out there that would take you while 'approving' your own T as the required individual therapy?

I guess the only thing I can think of is trying to convince the DBT people to let you see your T instead of school T, as school T will only see you short-term. Of course this makes a lot of sense to me, but the people you're dealing with are maddening.

Can your regular/long-term/local T go to bat for you and help you get into a DBT group? Maybe with her advocacy (and maybe she has connections that can help) she can get you in. Best of luck, and I'm sorry this is such a mess.

Also, did the student counseling people specifically cite your "bipolar" (using that word) as to why they don't want to take you on, or did they just say in general (due to sui attempts, etc.) that you needed more long-term treatment? Just curious what's going on in these peoples' heads and if they're using a specific diagnosis as a reason/excuse.

I'm going to see if my T will help me weasel my way into DBT because I think it'd be helpful. She didn't respond to the text I sent a couple of days ago.

The words used were "highly complex case" and "Chronic problems" she also mentioned my bipolar but it was a brief mention. I think she was trying to say they don't treat bipolar without saying they don't treat bipolar.

So where do "highly complex case" and "Chronic problems" go then?

Trio
It's a program for first generation, disable, and low income students go. The have teachers from every department tutor, paper editors, People that help students find resources they need, interm reports and all different thing. Their only requirement is that you fit one of the three categories and spend a certain amount of time in their study area every week.

To an inconvenient (especially when, like me, you don't have a car) off campus county counselling center. With a pdoc that only wants to medicate the everliving daylights out of (I'm going to assume) everyone who walks through his door.

I should probably try that out. Maybe I will find someone to help me with physics. I'm not sure I want the label of 'disabled' yet, if at all. I do meet the low income requirement, though.

Hey comicgeek, if you're exercising you most likely are gaining weight from increased muscle mass. If you are gaining muscle then the BMI scale will not be accurate for you. My boyfriend works out, he gained 20 lbs and is considered "overweight" by the BMI scale, but he's slim and is muscular.

Also, I was denied at my college for counseling service too. They only treat students with ADHD and mild depression, so when they saw me they declined to service me. My disability adviser sees me every other week just to make sure that I'm doing well in my classes. I'm glad that at least I have accommodations for school and that my profs are understanding of my medical conditions.

I go to county, and so does my husband and son and none of my doctors want to over medicate us.

So you want to be better but are just torn about taking the medications? Well, from my personal experience, the medication has helped tremendously. I will go into my spiral if I don't take them regularly. However, I am only on about 50 mg. My old psychiatrist had me on so many meds that I was a zombie. That's not right. I wouldn't be afraid of the medication. They can make a difference. You can always taper off to a lower dosage. Don't think you'll have to be on such a high amount all your life. It doesn't have to be as scary as you think it is. Just research everything, be aware, and pay close attention to how they make you feel. Sometimes it takes a while to really find the correct dose. Once you feel better for a long period of time, you can try to lower the dosage. I think medication is important to the coping of bipolar. Our brains have a physical chemical imbalance. The medications help balance that. That's the way I think of it. If this pills helps my brain produce a balanced amount of chemicals, so be it. I'd rather take a pill then let the mania overwhelm my life. This is just my two cents.

I'm not sure I buy into the idea that bipolar is a straight-up chemical imbalance. I mean, wouldn't we all achieve COMPLETE remission on meds if that were the case?

It's times like now when I wonder if the psychiatric medication industry is less a treatment than a means to keep those who are different contained.

Like a chemical straight jacket. Increase the dosage to tighten the restraints until you look like a happy little clone of everyone else.

I guess maybe sometimes I need the restraints to function, but the caged part of my mind starts resenting every minute of it.

when, like now, it's free, it may act wildly. But everything is clearer, somehow.

That's not to say I understand everything, not at all. But I feel like I understand more of what's going on in the world.

Colors are more vivid, sounds don't feel so out of focus.

I feel like I'd miss that.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I think I feel a little better after writing it.

True, there is debate on if it's chemicals or not. But just because they don't have a straight-up cure for it doesn't act as proof that it isn't. Scientists don't understand everything about genetics, so how exactly can they know how to cure it?

And not all of the meds will make you feel like a zombie. I don't feel any different on lamictal than I did without it - I'm still exactly me.

That's how I felt about meds for years. Especially since I was able to go years without them with only minor (mostly) episodes for about six years. I know exactly what you mean.

Unfortunately the episodes got to be too severe. This most recent one was the scariest thing I've been through in my life and I NEVER want it to happen again. I'll take whatever "they" want to make that happen. It's a decision I had to come to for myself, something that took a true mental breakdown to get me to see.

But that's just me. You may never reach that point and it's fine. In fact I hope you don't. You can only do what's right for you. Sure, medication could definitely help you. But if you don't want it you don't want it.

I'll be honest with you, even though I was a late bloomer to bp1, undiagnosed , unmedicated cyclothymic me for 42 years wasn't all that great. I'm lucky I survived all the one night stands in my early 20s without violence, stds or what not. I'd give just about anything to get the late 90s back when my kids were little, that I slept through and nobody noticed. because I could function, just not great. stuff got done but it took a toll on me. so if I had known even then there could have been something I could have taken to help with just that I would have. since having full blown bipolar at 42, almost losing my family, myself, I wouldn't go back to that for anything and if its the meds that keep me intact, so be it. I intend to grow old and play with my grandchildren, not do the double whammy idea that got me put in the hospital.

I guess I'm feeling really paranoid right now. I feel like the cafeteria is designed to make students fat because it's so hard to get healthy food that isn't a salad that's been sitting out in the open all day. I feel like my roommate might be lying about having work tomorrow so I won't have anyone to take me to my T since I don't have a car. The T at SCS is probably going to tell the Dean that I'm crazy so campus police will have me on watch and so he won't believe me if I need him and/or the police to intervene if someone's stalking me like last semester.

Comic geek,

You know I have tons of issues surrounding medication and I know you've had issues with it too. I will not tell you to or not to take medication. I will say, If you do choose medication, you have to choose it for yourself, not your loved ones, not your situation but for you. I'm not saying you'll not have your own little hissy fits about the medication if you choose it for yourself but it prevents resentment of your loved ones/situation, and gives you the ability to self advocate and have power over your situation. I know the mental health system has treated you horribly and I don't blame you for wanting out of the mental health system. The topic of to medicate or not is a recurring theme here so I encourage you to talk about your feeling here and with your future T, even pdoc (they still get paid if you say no to medication) until you've made a choose that you can stick with for a full year, then re-evaluate.

You may not feel that bipolar is fully a physical problem but a combination of issues. I do not believe medication solves everything. No one wants a chemical straight jacket and that shouldn't be the goal, most of the time .The horrible coping mechanisms you've learned to deal with bipolar before you got help have to be dealt with and some of that may be your ED. I would encourage you to have a therapist that you can explain that you do not want medication and you can explain that to the pdoc if your required to see one.

Thank you all for putting up with my b****ing and ranting. I'm much more calm after I found a ride to my T appointment tomorrow and talked with loved ones. I'm going to talk to my T about the issues I have with medication and if she's actually going to listen and not be dismissive of the points I bring up, I'll probably stay with her. If not, time to find another T (within the same practice most likely). I do want some help finding out which is the right decision for me, I just don't want to be pushed in a direction and feel like I'm being forced into something like I have been in the past.

I'm glad your going to advocate for yourself. Good luck and tell us how it goes.

So that was a little frustrating. She *eventually* respected my decision about antipsychotics. She wasn't completely dismissive of my reasons not to take them- well, she very obviously thought it was a silly reason, but she eventually let me roll with it... or so I thought.

After talking with her I feel so exhausted and confused that I'm half tempted to tempt fate with this brain damage thing. She made me of really scared me off meds and the idea of trying new meds. I feel manipulated. Or maybe this is how arguments are supposed to work.

Have you ever actually been psychotic?

I got so depressed once my inner self-hating thoughts sounded like real people talking to me.