Student counseling services and meds

Self-hatered is best adressed in therapy.

Tbh, if your shrink thinks brain shrinkage is a silly reason not to take an AP... they are the ones who are sorta delusional. Maybe *they* need something brain damaging? Imho, APs should be used for severe issues and not thrown around like it's Skittles. There's other drugs that you could use that will not mess you up quite so badly.

Have you sat down and handwritten down all the problems that you are having right now ? in detail ie: I cant get my school work done, I can't concentrate. My ED is causing more problems or am I allowing myself to let it get out of hand? ... things like that.. List everything.

Not everyone needs an AP.. Only you can decide that ..

If you write down all the struggles you are having then go back through and see if they are problems that NEED an AP or if its more of issues that can be helped with Therapy and changing your view of situations . ED's do not respond to medications.. that's a mountain you have to work on with talk therapy and changes in lifestyle.

I hope you find a way to feel better .

enough of this thread already...

how much effort does it take?

I wish I had these problems
and float irrelevant
I won't make friends with this but it's too bad

things should not drag on

it just hurts more

No one is forcing you to read this thread DM. Just like I don't tend to read yours.. it's a choice we each can make, for our own reasons. If you think that someone else's problems should be done and dealt with... why even share that with anyone else? How could that help someone to hear that someone else thinks their problems shouldn't take any effort and thus should be over and dealt with??

CG - I like Christina's suggestion about writing all the issues down in a list and then figure out what you think is causing each issue.

Am I making a big problem out of nothing? That's all I've been getting from my T and my friends and family today. Maybe it's supposed to be just as simple as sit down.shut up take the meds don't ask questions.

I only want to make the right choice for once.

CG - it's a big problem for you, and that's all that matters - it's your life, and it's your problem, and there's nothing to gain from comparing it to others. We each have things that are incredibly stressful and significant to us that others would find really simple.

Like - I can stand on a stage and run an event as the MC. That's not a problem for me, at all, but for others they would freeze on stage and freak right out. On the other hand - I can't handle someone just giving me a hug when they can tell I'm sad.

For you, right now, that's the idea of meds and how to treat yourself. That's currently the issue you are struggling with and that's a perfectly valid thing to debate about.

ok fair enough...

I consider myself sicker that anyone here...

I write to feel in a moment
I don't expect my expressions to last they disappear just like my personality vanishes immediately after I experience something...

so I feel very alienated even amongst you apparent mentally ill people

who thrive in discussions

I talk once and that's it

I must be sicker than everyone here....

I don't need to 'chat'

I am an outcast

I write and then I run

I am too connected with others subjects.....I absorb their agony others bliss

I withhold my ability to cure
because I am emotionally poisoned

It makes me sad that u feel that way. Every day u make me feel better because u have a gift. U can take your feelings and put them into words that i can relate to.

I think I made a blue interfering here...

I don't know why I did it?

you are very kind

I wouldnt worry bout it too much. I dont know why i do half the ***** i do

And comicgeek seems like a pretty cool chick... I'm sure she'll forgive yer"blue".

it's too bad if not!
I don't like being on the backside of people

DM- ,

CG- Don't just "sit down and shut up" about this. You have to do it for you. Maybe a PRN

No longer so exhausted from arguing. Hopefully waiting for potential answers on wednesday. PRN sounds like a great idea!

And DM, it's okay.

Comicgeek --what about taking one step at a time, but starting first and foremost with focusing on therapy -individual and group if you can?

I've seen you suffer through a great deal of anxiety, self-loathing, eating/body image... As a big a hill as it may seem right now to climb, why don't you throw yourself into therapy and consider the possibility of waiting on the meds. Not because they'll mess with your brain, or take away your clarity of thought or emotion, but because the issue itself is causing so much anxiety and upheaval and enough of your issues I really think could be addressed by and helped with therapy. Down the road, with time, maybe you could revisit the idea of meds --or not.

Do you think that would work? Put aside the meds for the time being, the very idea of them, and move on to working on yourself, your self-worth, your studies, your place in the world...?

I think I will try that. I'm not going to cancel my appointment with second opinion pdoc, but I will let the issue go for now so I can spend time on other things.

In any case I do still have some prn zyprexa left over from last semester, and that worked well when I as flipping out.

I'll take any drug they come up with that will get me out of this depressive episode I'm in, even if it shortens my life span. Because right now my life isn't worth living. I would trade longevity for happiness now any day. But that is just me and I'm hurting, so I will try anything to stop the pain.

I hope you come to the best decision for you. I'm all for learning coping skills because they really helped me with my anxiety.

So the issue had been solved. I can sleep better at night. I think I made the right decision for me that I'll be able to stick with for at least a year. I'm titrating up on lactimal starting tonight. The new pdoc, whom I'm switching to because she cares and answers all of my questions, thinks I'm bipolar 1 because I've had a manic episode and thinks that the antidepressants I've been on were causing a ton of issues (I went hypo when I first got on zoloft and have cycled pretty badly since then).

I'm so glad you have someone that cares about her job. I like lamictal.

CG - I'm on lamictal and only lamictal... and I'm still rather slow in the titration process, but I've had zero side affects and I still feel 110% like myself. So hopefully it's like that for you

I've been following your threads and I am pleased you have a new pdoc. I hope all works out for you and you can start to get more stable.

glad to hear that.

Hopefully your mood stabilizer can take the edge off so you can deal with your issues, but will not interfere with your clarity.

Hi. just querying your actual dx. Do you have BP for sure or BPD? Or both? DBT is for people with BPD, and that doesn't require meds for effective treatment. Sorry to be honest, but I kinda agree with what the nurse said, in a way. If you really have BP it is virtually impossible to treat med-free. The most successful way to treat it is with meds, therapy and a strong support network. And you need all 3 of those things for it to work. BP is a chemical imbalance that needs addressing. BP is possibly the hardest psychiatric condition to treat because of the complex relationship between depression and mania, and the difficulty of finding the right balance of right med, right dose.
If your main worry about meds is about side effects then you just need to keep experimenting until you find one that suits you. I return to my doc straight away if I'm unhappy with a side effect. There are newer meds available now with low rates of side effects. I've found 2 meds which cause me no side effects, so it can happen, believe me. It is true that BP can worsen with time and age, and the older you get the harder it is to treat. So you need to get to a place where you're more accepting of your condition and start getting the proper treatment for it before it's too late. Maybe you should look into BPD and decide whether you think there's a possibility that you may have it, because you may have been misdiagnosed with BP. Like I said earlier, if you do have BPD instead, then you don't need meds at all, just DBT and therapy.
Good luck, take care and keep us posted about your progress and any other developments.

then me, Anika. (with dot at the end), Trippin' and others out there must be virtual. Scary thought. Believe me, it can be done.

And sorry... the chemical imbalance is one theory, without any tangible proof. And pushed mostly by Big Pharma. Any reasonable doctor will tell you it's much more complex than that.

I'm NOT realllll???? OMGEEEE I knew it