[russells]

Last week I had my zoloft dose doubled from 50mg to 100mg as it wasn't working.

Well, I've spent the last five days in bed pretty much.

I managed a shower this morning when all of a sudden I heard two voices taunt me, it instantly made me remember a stressful meeting I have at the end of the month and I began breathing faster, heart was going and I felt really light headed.

I've got a lot going on at the moment, too much to handle when I'm like this. I feel too anxious to go out - more so because I don't want to integrate with society.

I saw my CPN a few days ago and she said I need another mood stabiliser so I've got an appointment with the pdoc coming up.

I told her how I felt like calling the hospital and telling them I can't take life anymore come and get me before I hurt myself and she said I'll get sectioned if I do that, she said at worst I'll be on the wards but she doesn't really want that for me.

I feel so emotional I want to break down and cry - but no tears are coming it's almost like they're stuck. I can't cry for some reason.

Although I don't want to die, I just want all of this gone. I am done with the constant ups and downs, the constant inner turmoil and head fog.

Sigh...

I don't know if I can wait to see the pdoc (which might be up to a month). I'm feeling on the edge and I'm about to surrender.

[gayleggg]

Hang in there. Things will get better. I say call 911 if you feel like you are going to hurt yourself.

[eScotty]

[I feel for you. I am especially touched when you say you feel like crying but no tears come. I have found crying to be a helpful, if temporary, relief from oppressive thoughts. Not to be able to shed tears would be very troubling to me. I hope your PDoc will be able to stabilize your mood by adjusting your med. Things have gotten better for you previously. They will do so again.

[pegasus]

Right, have they given you a number to call? I think it would be a good idea for you to go into hospital and then they will sort out the medication there and then. You can volunteer to go in, you don't have to be sectioned.

[russells]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Right, have they given you a number to call? I think it would be a good idea for you to go into hospital and then they will sort out the medication there and then. You can volunteer to go in, you don't have to be sectioned.

Yes I have a number to call. I live in the UK though, I'm not sure if I can go in voluntarily here?

[pegasus]

Yes, I'm in the UK too. Call the number, let us know what they say.

[russells]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Yes, I'm in the UK too. Call the number, let us know what they say.

Thank you, shall I call my CPN first? And will they wait 'till Monday if I raise the issue?

[pegasus]

With it being the weekend, your CPN probably won't be there. Your CPN should have given you a number to call in crisis, if not it'll be the number for adult mental health services. You can discuss all the options but it's best to be honest, let them know how it really is for you.

[russells]

Originally Posted by pegasus

With it being the weekend, your CPN probably won't be there. Your CPN should have given you a number to call in crisis, if not it'll be the number for adult mental health services. You can discuss all the options but it's best to be honest, let them know how it really is for you.

Ok, I will pluck up the courage. Will let you know how it goes.

[russells]

I called the crisis number and I'm still waiting for a call back - they must be really busy tonight.

[Victoria'smom]

Have they called yet?

[bumble2u]

Originally Posted by russells

Yes I have a number to call. I live in the UK though, I'm not sure if I can go in voluntarily here?

Hi as a former uk resident it is possible to go in as voluntary. I was offered that at one point. I think it will depend on beds availability though. Sorry your so down. I can relate especially at the no tears coming too.

How are you going? If you can stay out of hospital safely that is really the best bet. Hospital can be more harmful than helpful for some people and that could be why your doctors arnt keen for you to do that. Have you got PRN medication?

When you are at this point it is more important than ever to stay in a routine and keep you sleeping and eating habits right. When you are feeling like you cannot cope try some deep breathing or distract yourself with something. It will pass, its just a matter of coping until it does. You've identified what is making you feel this way, have you got a plan in place to deal with everything? Breaking it all down might help.

Look after yourself

Please stay safe. I can identify with the wanting to cry but just no tears coming anymore.