[Seth412]

Hi. I'm Dx Bipolar 1 and OCD. I respond very well to treatment. But I'm about to learn the meaning of stress.

I'm about to start a class in which I will be learning to be an EMT. If I pursue this as a career I will be exposed to the unimaginable. Blood, guts, death and dying.

From what I understand, it's an insanely stressful field in which people's mental and emotional limits are tested.

Any advice?

[medicalfox]

How are you at handling stress? It is stressful and that may not be the right job for you, although that's up to you. I'm a hospice certified nurse assistant so my job deals with the dying and death. This job isn't for everyone because witness a death can be very distressing, especially witnessing it throughout your career. If you're good at handling stress, have patience, and have a good stomach go for it! If not you may want to look into another career in the medical field.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by Seth412

Hi. I'm Dx Bipolar 1 and OCD. I respond very well to treatment. But I'm about to learn the meaning of stress.

I'm about to start a class in which I will be learning to be an EMT. If I pursue this as a career I will be exposed to the unimaginable. Blood, guts, death and dying.

From what I understand, it's an insanely stressful field in which people's mental and emotional limits are tested.

Any advice?

From a nurse who's been in healthcare for 20 years:

Don't do it. It IS insanely stressful, and unless you are very strict with yourself regarding your sleep schedule, eating well, exercising and taking your medications, working in this field will de-stabilize you. I used to have what was called "subthreshold" bipolar disorder, but over the years it's become more and more of an issue for me and it finally blew up my career earlier this year.

That said......even if I'd known that my subclinical symptoms would eventually develop into a raging case of BP 1 because of unremitting stress, I probably would've become a nurse anyway. It's what I always wanted to do, and I've seldom regretted it even though I'm now partially disabled due to BP, and can only work in a limited role.

So, I'm not going to tell you that you CAN'T be an EMT, or SHOULDN'T be one......only that working in healthcare is not the best choice for someone with the challenges of a mental illness. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck!

[Yoda]

I was a paramedic before I became a RN. My step-dad died of a heart attack and my motivation to become a paramedic was because I didn't want other little kids to lose their dads at such a young age as my sisters did.

Being a paramedic was hard physically and sometimes emotionally but was very rewarding. I knew what I was doing was making a difference in people's lives.

Yes, you sometimes see people who can't be fixed. There are a couple I wish I could forget but it is part of the job. I was a medic in the early 80's and I think EMS has progressed now and is more active in helping workers process the trauma scenes and all. Fortunately I never had a critically ill or injured child. That would have to be the worst.

[Seth412]

First I must apologize for posting this in the wrong section. I realize now that there is a "Work and Careers" section.

Being honest with myself, I admit that it's not going to be easy for me, and I am aware of some of the challenges I will face as a mentally ill healthcare worker.

But I feel this is something that I really want to do, so I'm going to give it a shot. I'll know after my class whether it's right for me. If not, I'll switch to something else.

[medicalfox]

After reading bipolaRNurse's post, I just remembered I have an emt friend. My friend's schedule can get out of control. She often has to work past her 12 hour shift and pick up more shifts in the week. There are days where she doesn't get to sleep very long and this can trigger a manic episode. I live near a very bad city with a lot of crime and she has to deal with their shenanigans. She has had numerous gun shot victims, children, people die on her etc. I also think it's the emts that pick up the dead patients from hospice care and bring them to the hospital. My other emt friend works for a different county and he doesn't deal with the city shenanigans. He really loves his job, but I don't know how stressful it is for him. I'd imagine it isn't since I never heard anything negative about it. It really depends where you work and how you handle stress. Generally in the medical field you have to work over time so that's something to keep in mind. Working to much with a stressful job and lack of sleep can be quite terrible.

[IndieVisible]

It is a high burnout field. But certainly go for the classes. Ultimately you have to find out for yourself. At least you know it's not gonna be a walk in the park.

[Seth412]

Yes I have heard such stories about crazy hours. If I do pursue this, it would be best that I start in a low call volume area.

And I'm going to find out whether it's for me if not, accounting maybe? I don't know.

[ultramar]

I'm in the healthcare field and deal with blood, guts, death, dying, all and sundry.

I generally cope well, but have had on occasion ended up in a bathroom stall crying; even a few seconds tends to help and I'm basically able to move on. Whatever works. As healthcare professionals we can't show our emotions, not really, and I think this can be both a blessing and a curse.

I am actually generally better at removing myself emotionally from others' pain than dealing with my own; I'm good at compartmentalizing and I actually think this is important in what you will be doing (and I do). I naturally, at this point, keep a certain distance, I kind of have my own poker/concerned/empathetic face that I put on when needed. It's sounds cold, maybe, but it allows me to feel the empathy, but not so much that it overloads me.

When I feel the sadness breaking through my barriers, I tend to try to remind myself (and sometimes repeat to myself as a mantra) that "this is worse for them" and most of all "this is about them, not me" and they need me to be strong, so I can do my job, and so that they can grieve (or be in pain, or whatever) without worrying about their providers, while being able to count on their providers to be there for them, without their own 'stuff' getting in the way.

But as I say, I have closed myself up in a bathroom stall to cry, though this is rare. When a child with cancer I had been working with for about 6 months died, I balled during the better part of a therapy session. There is also a beautiful "Healing Garden" in the hospital for patients with cancer (and their loved ones) which is a good place to escape to. Maybe you'll find a place you can 'escape' to if and when it comes to it.

Aside from all of that, it has been hugely helpful for me to talk about it with colleagues, to 'debrief' in a way. They 'get' it like no one else in my life can, and can handle the gory details I may need to get out. Though I would choose wisely who you turn to on such occasions: I've found that some people prefer *not* to talk about such things, and cope in other ways, which is important to respect. But with time, you'll get to know the colleague(s) you can count on to listen and commiserate when you need to talk about it.

I'll end with that I occasionally deal with the severely mentally ill in the course of my work and although perhaps I am able to be more empathetic than some of my colleagues, it can also be triggering. Deep breath, "this is about them, I need to be able to help them." Unfortunately, though, in the healthcare professions, you will come across those along a spectrum of misunderstanding to outright discriminating against the mentally ill. When I don't feel I can reasonably do otherwise, I let it go (sorry), other times, I gently remind them of the humanity of those we treat, the pain they are in, and that they are "x", not 'crazy!'

Good luck in your journey towards becoming an EMT -it's such a wonderful profession!

[ultramar]

Just wanted to add that although my job can be very stressful and sometimes triggering, it also often helps a good deal in putting things into perspective; you can't avoid the fact that there are always others who have it worse. This may sound cliché, but it is so true.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

From a nurse who's been in healthcare for 20 years:

Don't do it. It IS insanely stressful, and unless you are very strict with yourself regarding your sleep schedule, eating well, exercising and taking your medications, working in this field will de-stabilize you. I used to have what was called "subthreshold" bipolar disorder, but over the years it's become more and more of an issue for me and it finally blew up my career earlier this year.

That said......even if I'd known that my subclinical symptoms would eventually develop into a raging case of BP 1 because of unremitting stress, I probably would've become a nurse anyway. It's what I always wanted to do, and I've seldom regretted it even though I'm now partially disabled due to BP, and can only work in a limited role.

So, I'm not going to tell you that you CAN'T be an EMT, or SHOULDN'T be one......only that working in healthcare is not the best choice for someone with the challenges of a mental illness. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck!

I get what you're saying, but especially because I know you were in a managerial position when things got really ugly. A few years ago and for two years I was in an extremely stressful managerial position in healthcare and it did destabilize me. It was too much. Long hours, constantly putting out fires, always one way or another on call, all the politics. So I now know as embarrassing as it is for me (and my ego) to admit, I shouldn't be in that position.

But now that I work directly with patients again, and I have a regular schedule, the stress has dropped considerable, hugely really, and I also find it far more fulfilling.

So I really think it depends on what you do in healthcare. I know regular hours for me has been essential. I hope that as an EMT -OP- you can manage to get a more or less regular schedule; even if it may mean less pay than some of your colleagues, it may end up being better for your mental health.

[Seth412]

Originally Posted by ultramar

I'm in the healthcare field and deal with blood, guts, death, dying, all and sundry.

I generally cope well, but have had on occasion ended up in a bathroom stall crying; even a few seconds tends to help and I'm basically able to move on. Whatever works. As healthcare professionals we can't show our emotions, not really, and I think this can be both a blessing and a curse.

I am actually generally better at removing myself emotionally from others' pain than dealing with my own; I'm good at compartmentalizing and I actually think this is important in what you will be doing (and I do). I naturally, at this point, keep a certain distance, I kind of have my own poker/concerned/empathetic face that I put on when needed. It's sounds cold, maybe, but it allows me to feel the empathy, but not so much that it overloads me.

When I feel the sadness breaking through my barriers, I tend to try to remind myself (and sometimes repeat to myself as a mantra) that "this is worse for them" and most of all "this is about them, not me" and they need me to be strong, so I can do my job, and so that they can grieve (or be in pain, or whatever) without worrying about their providers, while being able to count on their providers to be there for them, without their own 'stuff' getting in the way.

But as I say, I have closed myself up in a bathroom stall to cry, though this is rare. When a child with cancer I had been working with for about 6 months died, I balled during the better part of a therapy session. There is also a beautiful "Healing Garden" in the hospital for patients with cancer (and their loved ones) which is a good place to escape to. Maybe you'll find a place you can 'escape' to if and when it comes to it.

Aside from all of that, it has been hugely helpful for me to talk about it with colleagues, to 'debrief' in a way. They 'get' it like no one else in my life can, and can handle the gory details I may need to get out. Though I would choose wisely who you turn to on such occasions: I've found that some people prefer *not* to talk about such things, and cope in other ways, which is important to respect. But with time, you'll get to know the colleague(s) you can count on to listen and commiserate when you need to talk about it.

I'll end with that I occasionally deal with the severely mentally ill in the course of my work and although perhaps I am able to be more empathetic than some of my colleagues, it can also be triggering. Deep breath, "this is about them, I need to be able to help them." Unfortunately, though, in the healthcare professions, you will come across those along a spectrum of misunderstanding to outright discriminating against the mentally ill. When I don't feel I can reasonably do otherwise, I let it go (sorry), other times, I gently remind them of the humanity of those we treat, the pain they are in, and that they are "x", not 'crazy!'

Good luck in your journey towards becoming an EMT -it's such a wonderful profession!

Wow! Thanks for the response! That was enlightening. I've received some excellent feedback on this post.

I believe I have at least two personality traits that would actually be an asset, in spite of my mental illness. First, I am fairly good at removing myself from a situation emotionally. I can sort of detach myself, if you will.

Second, I am a perfectionist (thanks, OCD!). When I do something, it must be done right and well. If it is not, I am not happy. I'm constantly critiquing myself about what can be done better next time. I believe that should I become an EMT, with experience I will become an excellent one.

Just curious, what is your diagnosis?

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by Seth412

Wow! Thanks for the response! That was enlightening. I've received some excellent feedback on this post.

I believe I have at least two personality traits that would actually be an asset, in spite of my mental illness. First, I am fairly good at removing myself from a situation emotionally. I can sort of detach myself, if you will.

Second, I am a perfectionist (thanks, OCD!). When I do something, it must be done right and well. If it is not, I am not happy. I'm constantly critiquing myself about what can be done better next time. I believe that should I become an EMT, with experience I will become an excellent one.

Just curious, what is your diagnosis?

Bipolar I + PTSD (a diagnosis which speaks more to the original source/cause, but basically generalized anxiety, with agoraphobia; getting out of the house, just getting myself to work has been tortuous at times, it used to be pretty constant, but has improved over the last 6 months or so).

I'll add that I've actually just sent in my application for Intermittent Leave of Absence under FMLA. Basically both my psychiatrist and my pain doctor (I have chronic lumbar and cervical pain + a pain disorder called Central Pain Syndrome) filled out forms with diagnoses and treatment plans, if I might need time off or reduced schedule during flare-ups, etc., etc. I decided to file for this after some time of getting push-back from my boss regarding all of my medical appointments. Any time off (including appts) would still need to be dealt with responsibly on my end and time off negotiated with management, but this does give me some back up. It's documented that I have these illnesses and may need 'accommodations' (time off, etc.) as a result of them. I consulted 2 disability specialists at the hospital where I work who suggested I do this. It's something to keep in mind, perhaps, -your HR specialist would have information on it.

Even without this, though, I've somehow managed. As I said, when I was in the management position, I barely made it through, and it's possible that with a less understanding boss (she is, we were close actually, aside from appointments, which she just doesn't seem to 'get'), I wouldn't have made it through without getting fired. I had a psychotic episode while in that position, and although I took time off during the worst of it, and was knocked off my feet by boatloads of Seroquel, I don't even remember all the craziness I must have been exhibiting at work. I'm very fortunate that I wasn't fired.

*But* after 2 years we had cutbacks, especially in middle management, I was laid off, but there was a clinical position open which I was offered and took. Turned out to be the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I lucked out. I had been too stubborn/ashamed, etc. to admit to myself that I needed to get out of that position. Now I have a ton less stress, regular schedule, and I love what I do.

Best of luck to you!

[Seth412]

Originally Posted by ultramar

Bipolar I + PTSD (a diagnosis which speaks more to the original source/cause, but basically generalized anxiety, with agoraphobia; getting out of the house, just getting myself to work has been tortuous at times, it used to be pretty constant, but has improved over the last 6 months or so).

I'll add that I've actually just sent in my application for Intermittent Leave of Absence under FMLA. Basically both my psychiatrist and my pain doctor (I have chronic lumbar and cervical pain + a pain disorder called Central Pain Syndrome) filled out forms with diagnoses and treatment plans, if I might need time off or reduced schedule during flare-ups, etc., etc. I decided to file for this after some time of getting push-back from my boss regarding all of my medical appointments. Any time off (including appts) would still need to be dealt with responsibly on my end and time off negotiated with management, but this does give me some back up. It's documented that I have these illnesses and may need 'accommodations' (time off, etc.) as a result of them. I consulted 2 disability specialists at the hospital where I work who suggested I do this. It's something to keep in mind, perhaps, -your HR specialist would have information on it.

Even without this, though, I've somehow managed. As I said, when I was in the management position, I barely made it through, and it's possible that with a less understanding boss (she is, we were close actually, aside from appointments, which she just doesn't seem to 'get'), I wouldn't have made it through without getting fired. I had a psychotic episode while in that position, and although I took time off during the worst of it, and was knocked off my feet by boatloads of Seroquel, I don't even remember all the craziness I must have been exhibiting at work. I'm very fortunate that I wasn't fired.

*But* after 2 years we had cutbacks, especially in middle management, I was laid off, but there was a clinical position open which I was offered and took. Turned out to be the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I lucked out. I had been too stubborn/ashamed, etc. to admit to myself that I needed to get out of that position. Now I have a ton less stress, regular schedule, and I love what I do.

Best of luck to you!

Probably the thing I'm scared of the most is sleep (or lack-thereof) and irregular hours. Do you think it's possible that I obtain regular hours and a 12 on 12 off schedule, citing my disability? Do you think they'll make these accommodations?

[BluViolet]

I am new to this site....but am in the same boat. I am graduating from nursing school soon and have to disclose the fact that I am BPII. I am scared to say the very least.... I have worked so hard to get to this point that I am stressed that the BON won't let me test. I understand why I have to 'disclose' this information but it makes me feel bad. I don't have a history or anything but still. I am sweating this....because up until this point no one knows I am Bipolar except my doctor, husband and a couple close family members and maybe two friends. There is such a stigma involved....I don't like discussing about personal issues. (Hence anonymity on this site!) But now I am about to legally declare myself with a mental disorder and that it will always be on my record.....always. Uggh, I don't know how to deal with this....I have put off applying because I am nervous about sending my declaration to be reviewed.

[ultramar]

OP: Hopefully you'll be able to have relatively regular hours without having to file for FMLA. I would go that route first, and only file as a last resort. Maybe you'll have different schedules to choose from? Maybe some or many of your colleagues will be applying for schedules that wouldn't work for you, maybe they will even be paid more, but I would just request what works best for you.

BluViolet: I would never recommend disclosing your illness to your boss (or even co-workers, unless you're truly close); most people just don't get it and personally I don't expect them to. There's stigma, misunderstanding, as you say.

To be clear, in terms of the Intermittent LOA I've applied for, my medical information *only* goes to the LOA Coordinator at Occupational Health (in your work environment, it might be HR); that information is protected and my boss will *never* see it. I asked her to sign a form acknowledging that I'm applying for this under 'personal illness' with no other information. My doctor's forms will go to Occ Health, and she will never see them and they won't tell her. They will only tell her that I've been approved or not. If I'm approved, I assume they'll let her know that I potentially may need time off occasionally for my 'personal illness', without naming them, etc. So, again, I wouldn't reveal anything to your boss, or people at work; any application should go to HR/Occ Health and not be revealed beyond that. I hope this helps.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by BluViolet

I am new to this site....but am in the same boat. I am graduating from nursing school soon and have to disclose the fact that I am BPII. I am scared to say the very least.... I have worked so hard to get to this point that I am stressed that the BON won't let me test. I understand why I have to 'disclose' this information but it makes me feel bad. I don't have a history or anything but still. I am sweating this....because up until this point no one knows I am Bipolar except my doctor, husband and a couple close family members and maybe two friends. There is such a stigma involved....I don't like discussing about personal issues. (Hence anonymity on this site!) But now I am about to legally declare myself with a mental disorder and that it will always be on my record.....always. Uggh, I don't know how to deal with this....I have put off applying because I am nervous about sending my declaration to be reviewed.

Be careful what you put on your application......if you disclose a mental illness, the BON will more than likely force you to go through a monitoring program that's actually designed for addicts, nurses who have diverted drugs, DUIs etc. This lasts for a minimum of three to five YEARS.

You'll have to provide observed random urine samples and call in to an automatic messaging system daily, go to THEIR counselors and psychiatrists.....all at high cost. And on top of that, you'll have to work with stipulations that will probably not allow you to administer narcotics, which will make it bloody unlikely that you'll be able even to find a job with your newly-minted RN.

Nervous yet? You should be. I certainly am. I don't know why the nursing boards feel we have to be punished for having a mental illness, but they do, so it's best NOT to disclose if there is any way at all of getting around it.

I'll be honest here. I dodged my state's question that's worded like this: "Do you have any physical or mental condition that impairs or may impair your ability to safely practice nursing?" I said No. At the time I renewed my license last January, my BP actually hadn't affected my practice; there were times when I went home (or was sent home) because I was manic, but I didn't work under those circumstances.

Now that I've lost a job to bipolar and had to severely restrict myself at my current workplace because I can't handle regular nursing anymore, I'm not so sure that I'll even renew next time. I don't have five years to suffer through a monitoring program; I'm almost 55 and would never find another nursing job if I had stips on my license, especially at my age.

With you it's different, because you're just starting out. But while I would NEVER recommend out-and-out lying to the BON, if the wording on that question is ambiguous, I wouldn't think twice about saying No. Just sayin'.